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CHAPTER XVIII
More briefly of some others
Other relations there are, and those in very good Authors, which though we do not positively deny, yet have they not been unquestioned by some, and at least as improbable truths have been received by others. Unto some it hath seemed incredible what Herodotus reporteth of the great Army of Xerxes, that drank whole rivers dry. And unto the Author himself it appeared wondrous strange, that they exhausted not the provision of the Countrey, rather then the waters thereof. For as he maketh the account, and Budeus de Asse correcting the mis-compute of Valla, delivereth it; if every man of the Army had had a chenix of Corn a day, that is, a sextary and half; or about two pints and a quarter, the Army had daily expended ten hundred thousand and forty Medimna’s, or measures containing six Bushels. Which rightly considered, the Abderites had reason to bless the Heavens, that Xerxes eat but one meal a day; and Pythius his noble Host, might with less charge and possible provision entertain both him and his Army. And yet may all be salved, if we take it hyperbolically, as wise men receive that expression in Job, concerning Behemoth or the Elephant; Behold, he drinketh up a river and hasteth not, he trusteth that he can draw up Jordan into his mouth.
2. That Annibal eat or brake through the Alps with Vinegar, may be too grosly taken and the Author of his life annexed unto Plutarch affirmeth only, he used this artifice upon the tops of some of the highest mountains. For as it is vulgarly understood, that he cut a passage for his Army through those mighty mountains, it may seem incredible, not only in the greatness of the effect, but the quantity of the efficient and such as behold them, may think an Ocean of Vinegar too little for that effect. ’Twas a work indeed rather to be expected from earthquakes and inundations, then any corrosive waters, and much condemneth the Judgement of Xerxes, that wrought through Mount Athos with Mattocks.
3. That Archimedes burnt the ships of Marcellus, with speculums of parabolical figures, at three furlongs, or as some will have it, at the distance of three miles, sounds hard unto reason, and artificial experience: and therefore justly questioned by Kircherus,De luce et umbra. who after long enquiry could find but one made by Manfredus Septalius that fired at fifteen paces. And therefore more probable it is, that the ships were nearer the shore, or about some thirty paces: at which distance notwithstanding the effect was very great. But whereas men conceive the ships were more easily set on flame by reason of the pitch about them, it seemeth no advantage. Since burning glasses will melt pitch or make it boyle, not easily set it on fire.
4. The story of the Fabii, whereof three hundred and six marching against the Veientes, were all slain, and one child alone to support the family remained; is surely not to be paralleld, nor easie to be conceived, except we can imagine, that of three hundred and six, but one had children below the service of war; that the rest were all unmarried, or the wife but of one impregnated.
5. The received story of Milo, who by daily lifting a Calf, attained an ability to carry it being a Bull, is witty conceit, and handsomly sets forth the efficacy of Assuefaction. But surely the account had been more reasonably placed upon some person not much exceeding in strength, and such a one as without the assistance of custom could never have performed that act; which some may presume that Milo without precedent artifice or any other preparative, had strength enough to perform. For as relations declare, he was the most pancratical man of Greece, and as Galen reporteth, and Mercurialis in his Gymnasticks representeth, he was able to persist erect upon an oyled plank, and not to be removed by the force or protrusion of three men. And if that be true which Atheneus reporteth, he was little beholding to custom for this ability. For in the Olympick games, for the space of a furlong, he carried an Ox of four years upon his shoulders; and the same day he carried it in his belly: for as it is there delivered he eat it up himself. Surely he had been a proper guest atIn Rabelais. Grandgousiers feast, and might have matcht his throat that eat six pilgrims for a Salad.
6. It much disadvantageth the Panegyrick of Synesius,Who writ in the praise of baldness. and is no small disparagement unto baldness, if it be true what is related by Ælian concerning Æschilus, whose bald-pate was mistaken for a rock, and so was brained by a Tortoise which an Æagle let fall upon it. An argument or instance against the motion of the earth. Certainly it was a very great mistake in the perspicacy of that Animal. Some men critically disposed, would from hence confute the opinion of Copernicus, never conceiving how the motion of the earth below should not wave him from a knock perpendicularly directed from a body in the air above.
7. It crosseth the Proverb, and Rome might well be built in a day; if that were true which is traditionally related by Strabo; that the great Cities Anchiale and Tarsus, were built by Sardanapalus both in one day, according to the inscription of his monument, Sardanapalus Anacyndaraxis filius, Anchialem et Tarsum unâ die edificavi, Tu autem hospes Ede, Lude, Bibe, etc. Which if strictly taken, that is, for the finishing thereof, and not only for the beginning; for an artificial or natural day, and not one of Daniels weeks, that is, seven whole years; surely their hands were very heavy that wasted thirteen years in the private house of Solomon: It may be wondred how forty years were spent in the erection of the Temple of Jerusalem, and no less than an hundred in that famous one of Ephesus. Certainly it was the greatest Architecture of one day, since that great one of six; an Art quite lost with our Mechanicks, a work not to be made out, but like the wals of Thebes, and such an Artificer as Amphion.
The Syracusia or King Hiero’s Galleon, of what Bulk.
8. It had been a sight only second unto the Ark to have beheld the great Syracusia, or mighty ship of Hiero, described in Athenæus; and some have thought it a very large one, wherein were to be found ten stables for horses, eight Towers, besides Fish-ponds, Gardens, Tricliniums, and many fair rooms paved with Agath, and precious Stones. But nothing was impossible unto Archimedes, the learned Contriver thereof; nor shall we question his removing the earth, when he finds an immoveable base to place his Engine upon it.
9. That the Pamphilian Sea gave way unto Alexander in his intended March toward Persia, many have been apt to credit, and Josephus is willing to believe, to countenance the passage of the Israelites through the Red Sea. But Strabo who writ before him delivereth another account; that the Mountain Climax adjoyning to the Pamphilian Sea, leaves a narrow passage between the Sea and it, which passage at an ebb and quiet Sea all men take; but Alexander coming in the Winter, and eagerly pursuing his affairs, would not wait for the reflux or return of the Sea; and so was fain to pass with his Army in the water, and march up to the navel in it.
A List of some historical Errata’s in this and the following Sections.
10. The relation of Plutarch of a youth of Sparta, that suffered a Fox concealed under his robe to tear out his bowels, before he would either by voice or countenance betray his theft; and the other of the Spartan Lad, that with the same resolution suffered a coal from the Altar to burn his arm, although defended by the Author that writes his life, is I perceive mistrusted by men of Judgment, and the Author with an aiunt, is made to salve himself. Assuredly it was a noble Nation that could afford an hint to such inventions of patience, and upon whom, if not such verities, at least such verisimilities of fortitude were placed. Were the story true, they would have made the only Disciples for Zeno and the Stoicks, and might perhaps have been perswaded to laugh in Phaleris his Bull.
11. If any man shall content his belief with the speech of Balaams Ass, without a belief of that of Mahomets Camel, or Livies Ox: If any man make a doubt of Giges ring in Justinus, or conceives he must be a Jew that believes the Sabbatical river in Josephus. If any man will say he doth not apprehend how the tayl of an African Weather out-weigheth the body of a good Calf, that is, an hundred pound, according unto Leo Africanus, or desires before belief, to behold such a creature as is the Ruck in Paulus Venetus, for my part I shall not be angry with his incredulity.
12. If any one shall receive as stretcht or fabulous accounts what is delivered of Cocles, Scævola and Curtius, the sphere of Archimedes, the story of the Amazons, the taking of the City of Babylon, not known to some therein three days after; that the nation was deaf which dwelt at the fall of Nilus, the laughing and weeping humour of Heraclitus and Democritus,Farsalloni Historici. with many more, he shall not want some reason and the authority of Lancelotti.
13. If any man doubt of the strange Antiquities delivered by Historians, as of the wonderful corps of Antæus untombed a thousand years after his death by Sertorius. Whether there were no deceit in those fragments of the Ark so common to be seen in the days of Berosus; whether the Pillar which Josephus beheld long ago, Tertullian long after, and Bartholomeus de Saligniaco, and Borchardus long since, be the same with that of Lots wife; whether this were the hand of Paul, or that which is commonly shewn the head of Peter, if any doubt, I shall not much dispute with their suspicions. If any man shall not believe the Turpentine Tree, betwixt Jerusalem and Bethlem, under which the Virgin suckled our Saviour, as she passed between those Cities; or the fig-tree of Bethany shewed to this day, whereon Zacheus ascended to behold our Saviour; I cannot tell how to enforce his belief, nor do I think it requisite to attempt it. To compel Religion, somewhat contrary to Reason. For, as it is no reasonable proceeding to compel a religion, or think to enforce our own belief upon another, who cannot without the concurrence of Gods spirit have any indubitable evidence of things that are obtruded: So is it also in matters of common belief; whereunto neither can we indubitably assent, without the co-operation of our sense or reason, wherein consists the principles of perswasion. For, as the habit of Faith in Divinity is an Argument of things unseen, and a stable assent unto things inevident, upon authority of the Divine Revealer: So the belief of man which depends upon humane testimony is but a staggering assent unto the affirmative, not without some fear of the negative. And as there is required the Word of God, or infused inclination unto the one, so must the actual sensation of our senses, at least the non-opposition of our reasons procure our assent and acquiescence in the other. So when Eusebius an holy Writer affirmeth, there grew a strange and unknown plant near the statue of Christ, erected by his Hæmorrhoidal patient in the Gospel, which attaining unto the hem of his vesture, acquired a sudden faculty to cure all diseases. Although he saith he saw the statue in his days, yet hath it not found in many men so much as humane belief? Some believing, others opinioning, a third suspective it might be otherwise. For indeed, in matters of belief the understanding assenting unto the relation, either for the authority of the person, or the probability of the object, although there may be a confidence of the one, yet if there be not a satisfaction in the other, there will arise suspensions; nor can we properly believe until some argument of reason, or of our proper sense convince or determine our dubitations.
And thus it is also in matters of certain and experimented truth: for if unto one that never heard thereof, a man should undertake to perswade the affections of the Load-stone, or that Jet and Amber attracteth straws and light bodies, there would be little Rhetorick in the authority of Aristotle, Pliny, or any other. Thus although it be true that the string of a Lute or Viol will stir upon the stroak of an Unison or Diapazon in another of the same kind; that Alcanna being green, will suddenly infect the nails and other parts with a durable red; that a Candle out of a Musket will pierce through an Inch-board, or an urinal force a nail through a Plank; yet can few or none believe thus much without a visible experiment. Which notwithstanding fals out more happily for knowledge; for these relations leaving unsatisfaction in the Hearers, do stir up ingenuous dubiosities unto experiment, and by an exploration of all, prevent delusion in any.
CHAPTER XIX
Of some Relations whose truth we fear
Lastly, As there are many Relations whereto we cannot assent, and make some doubt thereof, so there are divers others whose verities we fear, and heartily wish there were no truth therein.
1. It is an unsufferable affront unto filiall piety, and a deep discouragement unto the expectation of all aged Parents, who shall but read the story of that barbarous Queen, who after she had beheld her royall Parents ruin, lay yet in the arms of his assassine, and carowsed with him in the skull of her father. For my part, I should have doubted the operation of antimony, where such a potion would not work; ’twas an act me thinks beyond Anthropophagy, and a cup fit to be served up only at the table of Atreus.
2. While we laugh at the story of Pygmaleon, and receive as a fable that he fell in love with a statue; we cannot but fear it may be true, what is delivered by Herodotus concerning Egyptian Pollinctors, or such as annointed the dead; that some thereof were found in the act of carnality with them. From wits that say ’tis more then incontinency for Hylas to sport with Hecuba, and youth to flame in the frozen embraces of age, we require a name for this: wherein Petronius or Martial cannot relieve us. Who tied dead and living bodies together. The tyrannie of Mezentius did never equall the vitiosity of this Incubus, that could embrace corruption, and make a Mistress of the grave; that could not resist the dead provocations of beauty, whose quick invitements scarce excuse submission. Surely, if such depravities there be yet alive, deformity need not despair; nor will the eldest hopes be ever superannuated, since death hath spurs, and carcasses have been courted.
3. I am heartily sorry, and wish it were not true, what to the dishonour of Christianity is affirmed of the Italian, who after he had inveigled his enemy to disclaim his faith for the redemption of his life, did presently poyniard him, to prevent repentance, and assure his eternal death. The villany of this Christian exceedeth the persecution of Heathens, whose malice was never so Longimanous Long-handed. as to reach the soul of their enemies; or to extend unto the exile of their Elysiums. And though the blindness of some ferities have savaged on the bodies of the dead, and been so injurious unto worms, as to disinter the bodies of the deceased; yet had they therein no design upon the soul: and have been so far from the destruction of that, or desires of a perpetual death, that for the satisfaction of their revenge they wisht them many souls, and were it in their power would have reduced them unto life again. It is a great depravity in our natures, and surely an affection that somewhat savoureth of hell, to desire the society, or comfort our selves in the fellowship of others that suffer with us; but to procure the miseries of others in those extremities, wherein we hold an hope to have no society our selves, is me thinks a strain above Lucifer, and a project beyond the primary seduction of hell.
4. I hope it is not true, and some indeed have probably denied, what is recorded of the Monk that poysoned Henry the Emperour, in a draught of the holy Eucharist. ’Twas a scandalous wound unto Christian Religion, and I hope all Pagans will forgive it, when they shall read that a Christian was poysoned in a cup of Christ, and received his bane in a draught of his salvation. Had he believed Transubstantiation, he would have doubted the effect; and surely the sin it self received an aggravation in that opinion. It much commendeth the innocency of our forefathers, and the simplicity of those times, whose Laws could never dream so high a crime as parricide: whereas this at the least may seem to out-reach that fact, and to exceed the regular distinctions of murder. I will not say what sin it was to act it; yet may it seem a kind of martyrdom to suffer by it. For, although unknowingly, he died for Christ his sake, and lost his life in the ordained testimony of his death. Certainly, had they known it, some noble zeales would scarcely have refused it; rather adventuring their own death, then refusing the memorial of his.
Many other accounts like these we meet sometimes in history,Hujus farinæ multa in historia horribili. scandalous unto Christianity, and even unto humanity; whose verities not only, but whose relations honest minds do deprecate. For of sins heteroclital, and such as want either name or president, there is oft times a sin even in their histories. We desire no records of such enormities; sins should be accounted new, that so they may be esteemed monstrous. They omit of monstrosity as they fall from their rarity; for men count it veniall to err with their forefathers, and foolishly conceive they divide a sin in its society. The pens of men may sufficiently expatiate without these singularities of villany; For, as they encrease the hatred of vice in some, so do they enlarge the theory of wickedness in all. And this is one thing that may make latter ages worse then were the former; For, the vicious examples of Ages past, poyson the curiosity of these present, affording a hint of sin unto seduceable spirits, and soliciting those unto the imitation of them, whose heads were never so perversly principled as to invent them. In this kind we commend the wisdom and goodness of Galen, who would not leave unto the world too subtile a Theory of poisons; unarming thereby the malice of venemous spirits, whose ignorance must be contented with Sublimate and Arsenick. For, surely there are subtiler venenations, such as will invisibly destroy, and like the Basilisks of heaven. In things of this nature silence commendeth history: ’tis the veniable part of things lost; wherein there must never rise a Pancirollus,Who writ De Antiquis deperditis, or of inventions lost. nor remain any Register but that of hell.
And yet, if as some Stoicks opinion, and Seneca himself disputeth, these unruly affections that make us sin such prodigies, and even sins themselves be animals; there is an history of Africa and story of Snakes in these. And if the transanimation of Pythagoras or method thereof were true, that the souls of men transmigrated into species answering their former natures; some men must surely live over many Serpents, and cannot escape that very brood whose sire Satan entered. And though the objection of Plato should take place, that bodies subjected unto corruption, must fail at last before the period of all things, and growing fewer in number, must leave some souls apart unto themselves; the spirits of many long before that time will find but naked habitations: and meeting no assimilables wherein to react their natures, must certainly anticipate such natural desolations.
Lactant
Primus sapientiæ gradus est, falsa intelligere
FINIS
HYDRIOTAPHIA
URNE-BURIALL
OR A DISCOURSE OF THE SEPULCHRALL URNES LATELY FOUND IN NORFOLK
TOGETHER WITH
THE GARDEN OF CYRUS
TO MY WORTHY AND HONOURED FRIEND THOMAS LE GROS
Of Crostwick Esquire
When the Funerall pyre was out, and the last valediction over, men took a lasting adieu of their interred Friends, little expecting the curiosity of future ages should comment upon their ashes, and having no old experience of the duration of their Reliques, held no opinion of such after-considerations.
But who knows the fate of his bones, or how often he is to be buried? who hath the Oracle of his ashes, or whether they are to be scattered? The Reliques of many lie like the ruines of [A]Pompeys, in all parts of the earth; And when they arrive at your hands, these may seem to have wandred farre, who in a [B] direct and Meridian Travell, have but few miles of known Earth between your selfe and the Pole.
That the bones of Theseus should be seen again [C]in Athens, was not beyond conjecture, and hopeful expectation; but that these should arise so opportunely to serve your self, was an hit of fate and honour beyond prediction.
We cannot but wish these Urnes might have the effect of Theatrical vessels, and great [D]Hippodrome Urnes in Rome; to resound the acclamations and honour due unto you. But these are sad and sepulchral Pitchers, which have no joyfull voices; silently expressing old mortality, the ruines of forgotten times, and can only speak with life, how long in this corruptible frame, some parts may be uncorrupted; yet able to out-last bones long unborn, and noblest [E]pyle among us.
We present not these as any strange sight or spectacle unknown to your eyes, who have beheld the best of Urnes, and noblest variety of Ashes; Who are your self no slender master of Antiquities, and can daily command the view of so many Imperiall faces; Which raiseth your thoughts unto old things, and consideration of times before you, when even living men were Antiquities; when the living might exceed the dead, and to depart this world, could not be properly said, to go unto the [F]greater number. And so run up your thoughts upon the ancient of dayes, the Antiquaries truest object, unto whom the eldest parcels are young, and earth it self an Infant; and without [G]Ægyptian account makes but small noise in thousands.
We were hinted by the occasion, not catched the opportunity to write of old things, or intrude upon the Antiquary. We are coldly drawn unto discourses of Antiquities, who have scarce time before us to comprehend new things, or make out learned Novelties. But seeing they arose as they lay, almost in silence among us, at least in short account suddenly passed over; we were very unwilling they should die again, and be buried twice among us.
Beside, to preserve the living, and make the dead to live, to keep men out of their Urnes, and discourse of humane fragments in them, is not impertinent unto our profession; whose study is life and death, who daily behold examples of mortality, and of all men least need artificial memento’s, or coffins by our bed side, to minde us of our graves.
’Tis time to observe Occurrences, and let nothing remarkable escape us; The Supinity of elder dayes hath left so much in silence, or time hath so martyred the Records, that the most industrious[H] heads do finde no easie work to erect a new Britannia.
’Tis opportune to look back upon old times, and contemplate our Forefathers. Great examples grow thin, and to be fetched from the passed world. Simplicity flies away, and iniquity comes at long strides upon us. We have enough to do to make up our selves from present and passed times, and the whole stage of things scarce serveth for our instruction. A compleat peece of vertue must be made up from the Centos of all ages, as all the beauties of Greece could make but one handsome Venus.
When the bones of King Arthur were digged up[I], the old Race might think, they beheld therein some Originals of themselves; Unto these of our Urnes none here can pretend relation, and can only behold the Reliques of those persons, who in their life giving the Laws unto their predecessors, after long obscurity, now lye at their mercies. But remembring the early civility they brought upon these Countreys, and forgetting long passed mischiefs; We mercifully preserve their bones, and pisse not upon their ashes.
In the offer of these Antiquities we drive not at ancient Families, so long out-lasted by them; We are farre from erecting your worth upon the pillars of your Fore-fathers, whose merits you illustrate. We honour your old Virtues, conformable unto times before you, which are the Noblest Armoury. And having long experience of your friendly conversation, void of empty Formality, full of freedome, constant and Generous Honesty, I look upon you as a Gemme of the Old Rock[J], and must professe my self even to Urne and Ashes,
Your ever faithfull Friend,and ServantTHOMAS BROWNE.
Norwich, May 1.
