Читать книгу: «The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and Instruction. Volume 17, No. 494, June 18, 1831», страница 7

THE GATHERER

 
"A snapper-up of unconsidered trifles."
 

SHAKSPEARE.

The following curious letter was found among the papers of a Mr. Goldwyre, Surgeon, of Salisbury.

To Mr. Edward Goldwyre, at his house on the Close of Salisbury.

Sir,—Being informed that you are the only surgeon in this city (or country) that anatomises men, and I being under the present unhappy circumstances, and in a very mean condition, would gladly live as long as I can, but by all appearances I am to be executed next March, but having no friends on earth that will speak a word to save my life, nor send me a morsel of bread to keep life and soul together until that fatal day; so if you will vouchsafe to come hither, I will gladly sell you my body (being whole and sound) to be ordered at your discretion, knowing that it will rise again at the general resurrection, as well from your house as from the grave. Your answer will highly oblige, yours, &c.

JAMES BROOKE.

Fisherton-Auger Gaol,

Oct. 3, 1736.

A farmer walking out one day, by chance met Jack Ketch, and jocosely asked him whether he could tell him the difference between their trades. "That I can," said Jack, "the only difference is utility—you till, I tie."

WALTER

What is the most suitable motto for a doctor's carriage? Live or die.

Why is the carver in a cook-shop like a naval officer? Because he commands a cutter.

W.G.C

EPITAPHS

 
Here lies poor Thomas, and his Wife,
Who led a pretty jarring life;
But all is ended—do you see?
He holds his tongue, and so does she.
 
 
If drugs and physic could but save
Us mortals from the dreary grave,
'Tis known that I took full enough
Of the apothecaries' stuff
To have prolong'd life's busy feast
To a full century at least;
But spite of all the doctors' skill,
Of daily draught and nightly pill,
Reader, as sure as you're alive,
I was sent here at twenty-five.
 

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