Читать книгу: «The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and Instruction. Volume 14, No. 405, December 19, 1829», страница 8

THE GATHERER

 
A snapper up of unconsidered trifles.
 

SHAKSPEARE.

A German having been shown Mount Edgcumbe, and magnificently entertained with sea-fish, exclaimed—"For my part, I like flat countries, and fresh-water fish."

POETICAL SCRAP

Inscription over a chimney-sweeper's door, at the entrance to Hastings, from the London Road:—

 
W. Freelove liveth here,
Is willing to serve both far and near:
He'll sweep your chimneys cheap and clean,
And hopes your custom to obtain;
And, if your chimney should catch fire,
He'll put it out at your desire.
 

The following article appeared, some years since, in a Valenciennes journal:—Six merchants crossing the Coast of Guinea, with seventy-five large monkeys, were attacked by upwards of a hundred negroes. Being at a loss how to defend themselves against such odds, one of the merchants proposed arming the prisoners: accordingly, swords, poniards, and pistols, were distributed amongst them, and, by imitating their masters, these grotesque auxiliaries succeeded in putting their aggressors to flight.

W.G.C.

SWIFT'S EPIGRAM,

On the dispute which occurred betwixt Bononcini and Handel.

 
Bononcini swears that Handel
Cannot to him hold a candle;
And Handel swears that Bononcini,
Compared to him is a mere ninny.
'Tis strange there should such difference be
'Twixt tweedle-dum and tweedle-dee!
 

LORD CHESTERFIELD

"At what time does a lady lose all susceptibility of the tender passion?" said his lordship to the Duchess of C–, then close upon a century of years.⁴ The reply was brisk and animated—"Your lordship must apply to some one older than me, for I am incapable of answering the question."

BOW-STREET WIT

Over the fire-place at the public office, Bow-street is a likeness of the celebrated Sir John Fielding Knight, who was at the head of this establishment after losing his sight. A gentleman, a few days ago, observed that Fielding was a great encourager of thieving. "How so?" asked his friend. "Why don't you know he was a dark-knight."

P.T.W.

The following epitaph is on the tomb of David Birkenhead, in Davenham churchyard, Cheshire:

 
"A tailor by profession,
And in the practice, a plain and honest man:
He was a useful member of society;
For, though he picked holes in no man's coat,
He was ever ready to repair
The mischief that others did;
And whatever breaches broke out in families,
He was the man to mend all,
And make matters up again:
He lived and died respected."
 

Forty years' service in Lord Penryhn's family induced Lady Penryhn to bestow this stone to his memory.

AXIOM

 
Nought but love can answer love,
And render bliss secure;
But virtue nought can virtue prove
To make that bliss secure.
 

FOR A WATCH-CASE

 
Life's but a transient span:
Then, with a fervent prayer each night,
Wind up the days, and set 'em right,
Vain mortal man!