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ACT III

Scene: It is two hours later in the morning room. At center back are large recess double doors with muslin curtains on lower half and chintz curtains on upper half. When the doors are opened, a portion of the room of the preceding acts can be seen. Directly at back is seen the table, on which stands the book slide containing the army list. The table runs across stage. Behind and to the R. of this and against the back drop is seen the cabinet of the preceding act. Directly behind table is a chair. The fire glow comes from the R. The back drop should be that portion of the L. wall of the preceding set, showing large picture hung as before. At the left of the set proper, reaching from the floor almost to the ceiling, a semicircular conservatory window, curves out into the room. In this are palms and flowers, with a greenery backing. Recessed into L. first flat is a china closet, containing china and bric-a-brac. Balancing this in R.I is a door leading to the hall. Balancing the conseCrvatory is a large recessed window, muslin curtains on the lower sash and chintz curtains on the upper. Damask hangings over window and also over doors C. All of these hangings are looped back. In the window is set a window box containing flowers. In the center of the window is a small sewing table. Below it and facing it, a winged armchair; above it and facing it, another small armchair. On the table are a lamp and some flowers. Against back flat and to left of window is a small serving table, on which are an empty silver serving tray, a small tray and a small decanter of brandy and two liquor glasses on it. To left of double doors is a chair. R. of conservatory, a chintz-covered stool. Below conservatory, a three-winged, chintz-covered screen. Below this and about three feet from L. flat is a desk, running up and down stage; the lower end being slightly more on stage. On this, on the extreme upper end, is a telephone. Also on the desk are inkwell, pens, paper and envelopes. On the elevated portion of the upper end is a lamp. Below desk, a waste paper basket. In the center of the stage and well down is a small, round dinner table, with cloth. On the table are a cigarette box, a cigarette lighter (burning), two ashtrays, plates, doilies and finger-bowls containing water, fruit knives and forks, a nut-cracker, and an almond dish. Directly in the center of the table is a fruit basket, containing apples, grapes and peaches. One peach should be easily accessible, it being used by Colonel Smith. At the upper end of table are two shaded, lighted candles, between these a vase with flowers. At Celia's place to the R. is a claret glass, stained at the bottom to represent a residue of wine. At Smith's place are a clean claret glass and a high-ball glass, containing a small quantity of whiskey and soda. On either side of the table are chairs. On the back flat, to each side of the doors, are candle brackets. Before curtain rises, the clock off stage (same as used in previous act) chimes ten. Curtain rises on the first stroke, after the usual Westminster prelude. Dinner is over. The lamps are lit and doors at back closed. Celia sits to R. of table, dipping her fingers in finger-bowl. She is in the black dress and shawl of the preceding act. Smith is to the left. He is intent upon explaining something to Celia, and she is listening with most apparent interest. At rise of curtain.

Smith. (Continuing his description) It was the usual sort of formation when a small force gets caught in the open-a square with the maxims at the corners. We had only two, – one-here-at the tip of the nut-crackers, and the other here-at the end of the knife-handle. (He has made a square with dessert knives and nut-crackers on the tablecloth. To illustrate the position of the maxims he uses nuts.)

Celia. Only two!

Smith. We should have liked some more, of course. But we'd have gotten along all right if this fellow here-(Touching one of the nuts) – hadn't jammed.

Celia. Oh! What happened then?

Smith. The Somalis at the corner charged. From here, from here, from here, others swept round and flung themselves upon the back of their companions. Imagine a huge wedge and an enormous hammer pounding behind it. They split our ranks in a second. It was a surprise that took you by the throat. You heard the maxim talking to 'em like a father, and, by George, there they were in the hollow of the square, stabbing at our backs.

Celia. (With much admiration) Oh-and where were you?

Smith. (In square) Here.

Celia. There?

Smith. Yes. (He takes a peach.) That's me. (Places it in the square.)

Celia. Ah! There! You were there?

Smith. Oh, I was all right. We faced the rear ranks about and drove 'em out of it. It was messy. You see, we could only use the bayonet inside the square. In a little while we got the maxim going again and made 'em respectful. However, they hung around us and we couldn't move along very fast. That was our trouble. For we had to move along, we were short of water and a day's march from the wells.

Celia. Oh!

Smith. So, you see, it was necessary that as soon as night came, someone should get through and bring relief.

Celia. (With much appreciation) I know what happened. I know! – You volunteered-

Smith. (Looks at her; his eyes accept her homage and thank her. He laughs happily) Yes. Between you and me-it was safer outside the square.

Celia. (Reproachfully) Oh-!

Smith. Well-I wasn't in command. So I could volunteer.

Celia. And got the D. S. O. in consequence.

Smith. And a drink a day before the others. I'll get a step, too, I think.

Celia. Then you'll be general, won't you?

Smith. Brigadier-

Celia. (Smiling at him admiringly) You can't know what it means to a woman who has lived always in a little out-of-the-way place like this, where only the same ordinary things happen day after day, to hear of wonderful deeds like these-from a man who's done them! (Speaks earnestly, without gushing.)

(Smith beams; moves his chair slightly towards her.)

Smith. Oh, yes. We are getting along together capitally, aren't we? And you can't know how all this-(Moves his hand to include the room) – appeals to a man who finds the skirmish and the camp a bit of an old story, and realizes that this-the quiet, well-ordered household-the home-and the home-maker-is after all what is really worth fighting for.

Celia. (Leans forward, listening) But-surely you have a home?

Smith. I have a house- By Jove! Now I have two houses!

Celia. (Interested) You have just bought another place?

Smith. Inherited it. An old Abbey about the size of Trafalgar Square on a wet day-and not as cheerful.

Celia. But you mustn't let yourself be lonely. You ought to marry.

Smith. (Moves his chair closer to Celia) That's what I begin to think.

(Martin enters R. with tray. On it, two small cups, small sugar bowl and a coffee pot, also one cigarette for Celia.)

Celia. (Seeing Martin) Won't you have a cigarette? (Offering Smith cigarette box.)

Smith. (Takes cigarette and moves back) Thank you.

Martin. (Placing coffee on the table) Coffee, Miss.

Celia. Sugar?

Smith. Thanks, yes.

Martin. (Has taken up Celia's plate and finger-bowl in right hand and now takes Smith's plate and finger-bow.) Old brandy, sir?

Smith. Old brandy! By George, yes! (Lights cigarette.)

(Martin goes up to small serving table R. of door and puts plates and finger-bowls on tray and gets brandy tray which he brings down to table and pours out one glass, leaving brandy on table. He takes the napkins, goes up, puts them on tray with other things and exits with tray R.I.)

Celia. (While Martin is serving) I asked Martin to serve coffee here, because I thought it would be cosier, you know. (Having poured Smith's coffee, she passes cup to him.)

Smith. (Taking cup slowly from her) Much-much cosier; though, for both of us to-night-(Celia fills her cup) – our one idea of cosiness must be the grave.

(Celia drops pot on tray.)

Celia. (Leans forward, takes cigarette from coffee tray and lights it) The grave! Then, tell me of it, won't you? Where does it lie?

Smith. (Openly perplexed, sees Celia smoking and attempts to use this as a means of extricating himself. Pretending to be shocked) Oh! the grave! oh-

Celia. What's the matter? (Puffs her cigarette.)

Smith. (Shrugging his shoulders) Oh, nothing, nothing.

Celia. Do you object to women smoking?

Smith. I? Not at all. It's companionable, but Smith-(Celia chokes on cigarette) – would Smith have liked to see you smoking a cigarette?

Celia. (Annoyed, pauses) Perhaps not-to-night.

Smith. Not to-night and not any night. (Celia viciously presses cigarette down on ashtray and puts it out. Reprovingly) We both know how strongly he disapproved of the modern latitude of women's manners. (She turns away.) You know I'd fancy the man who could make you care for him would be quite different from Smith. You haven't his little shut-in way of looking at life. You have such a splendid imagination.

Celia. (Nervously) Yes, and I'm beginning to think I need one.

Smith. Did you really love each other?

Celia. (Takes up her coffee cup) I can't answer for Colonel Smith-who was a man you know. But for myself, I can truthfully say that I have thought of him every day for eight months. Thought of him- Yes! And written to him too.

Smith. (Startled) Written to him! By Jove, then! Where are those letters? You can't let things like that go astray. Letters from you-knocking loose about a camp! (He is upset and disturbed.)

Celia. (Smiling to herself) Why should you imagine-my letters never reached him?

Smith. (Smiling reminiscently) Because I was with him-when he got the first one.

Celia. (Very agitated. Puts her cup sharply on saucer) You-you-you don't mean to say a Colonel Smith ever received- Oh-no gentleman could have shown my letter.

Smith. (Sincerely) Shown it? Oh, Miss Faraday, you can't know what that letter of yours meant to-

Celia. (Turning on him quickly) I beg your pardon.

Smith. I mean did meant-I mean did mean-to good old Smith. (Leaning forward with a smile. Moves his chair below table a little closer to hers.) I say, I've an idea. Let's forget Smith for five minutes and talk of something else.

Celia. (Forgetting herself) Oh, yes! Do let's.

Smith. What shall we talk about?

Celia. (Very engagingly) You. You have hardly said a word yet about yourself-and-naturally I am interested. (Speaks with a smile. Face on L. hand.)

(Smith edges toward her, delighted R. elbow on table, face on hand.)

Smith. I was born-guess when?

Celia. Thirty years ago.

Smith. (Holding out box) Have a cigarette?

Celia. No, thank you. I'd rather not. Do you think Smith would have liked me to smoke?

Smith. Ah, you see, we can't get away from him. He dominates us. Living or dead, his imperious nature will not be neglected. He sits at the table here between you and me. (Designates a spot between them on table.) To satisfy him, we've got to talk about him.

Celia. What is there to say?

Smith. What is there to say! And you've told me nothing about the Smith you knew.

Celia. (Surprised) The Smith I knew? (Recovering herself) Oh, yes, of course.

Smith. Yes-you see I know him only as the soldier-the man of action-the fighting man-but you-

Celia. But there is nothing to tell.

Smith. (Strongly) You mean there is nothing you wish to tell.

Celia. (Defiantly) Certainly not. What is it you wish to know?

Smith. Let us compare our pictures-mental, of course-of the man. (With solicitude.)

Celia. Oh, no-not at all. Not at all.

Smith. Then you describe Smith as you saw him, and I'll tell you if I agree with you.

Celia. Of course, you know our descriptions won't be alike. No two people's description of anyone ever would be.

Smith. Of course not-except in the definite facts. – His eyes, for instance-

Celia. His eyes-his eyes were not definite.

Smith. Not definite?

Celia. Their color. I mean it varied. Emotion kindled them-apathy dulled them. Sometimes they were light and again they were very, very dark.

Smith. That's funny. I never saw them dark. To me they always were light, like bottle glass.

Celia. Really? Possibly you were not very observing.

Smith. (Acknowledges the point with a touch of impatience) Possibly not. But his hair? Surely we can't differ as to that?

Celia. His hair-you mean did it curl or was it straight?

Smith. Yes-and its color.

Celia. His hair-I hardly know how to describe his hair, because his hair was- It was like no hair that I ever saw.

Smith. (Laughs) That's a splendid description of a bald man. That always was a great grief to Smith, his baldness; his head was so very bald and bumpy.

Celia. Oh, yes.

Smith. (Puts his hand to his head) What! (Recovering himself) Oh, yes, yes. (Growing more and more determined to trip her and more and more interested in and appreciative of her attractiveness) Now his mouth-

Celia. Well. His mouth was peculiar-

Smith. Peculiar?

Celia. Yes, you see it broadened when he smiled.

Smith. (Laughing) Oh-did he smile for you?

Celia. Oh, often, very often.

Smith. Yes, we all do-don't we? What would you say of his voice?

Celia. It was kind, always kind.

Smith. (Shakes head) Gruff and commanding.

Celia. (Insinuatingly) Naturally-not to me. (Her hand rests on the table.)

Smith. (Slowly covering her hand with his) No, no-how could it be?

Celia. (Looking over their hands to the spot that Smith had indicated earlier) Do you feel he's sitting there still?

Smith. (Leaning toward her) You're surely not afraid of-Wobbles?

Celia. (Pushes chair back, sliding with it as far up stage as possible. Faintly) Did you say-Wobbles?

Smith. (Briskly) You surely knew his nickname?

Celia. (Openly perplexed) But I-I called him-Wobbles. (Stares at Smith.)

Smith. Why! All the Army called him-Wobbles.

Celia. (In dry, queer voice) I didn't know that.

(READY Third Border.)

Smith. He was the most popular fellow-! You won't go to a dance or a garden party for the rest of your life-there won't be a town in the United Kingdom, Miss Faraday, where you won't meet somebody, some old school-fellow, some brother-officer, who knew him: – who will understand your loss and tell you new details of Wobbles. (Rises.)

Celia. (Rises and comes down stage) Not if I know it! (Smith stares at her. Returning, getting her chair and replacing it at table) Colonel Vavasour-I mean it will be quite impossible for me-to indulge myself in any such fashion. Because just as soon as possible, I'm sailing for America.

Smith. (Dropping below table) America? Why, Smith has-four brothers ranching there. And five-I mean three-sisters-in-law. I congratulate you, Miss Faraday. (Offers Celia his hand. Celia takes it limply and he shakes it.) You are going to the very heart of poor Wobbles' family. Shan't I cable them to meet you at the dock? (They are both now in front of table.)

Celia. (Withdrawing her hand) No-no-no-no, please don't do anything like that.

Smith. Why not?

Celia. Well, I don't know, but I-I might get off the ship before it reaches New York. At all events I am going where no one can ever find me.

Smith. (Quickly, but quite seriously) Then-by Jove-I'm going there too. (Takes her left hand tenderly and leans forward. They look straight into each other's eyes for a moment.)

Celia. (Draws herself up) Aren't you forgetting yourself, Colonel Vavasour? (With an irresistible impulse of mischief) Or are you only forgetting Wobbles? (Crosses C. to table. Looking back at spot on table.)

(THIRD Border Full Up.)

(A gay chatter is heard off L. of party returning from concert.)

Smith. (Not hearing it) Oh, damn Wobbles. (Crosses L.) I'm going because- (The center doors open quickly. Grice, Steele, Faraday, Tarver and Phyllis, Evelyn, Raleigh and Aunt Ida are in the doorway, having come from the left. Conscious of the presence of returning party, Smith reverts to his tone of solemnity and Celia bows her head with grief. Faraday, in doorway, hearing Smith, turns and raises his hands to quiet the party. Grice and Aunt Ida have drifted down L. ahead of the others. Aunt Ida sinks wearily into chair by desk.) Hour by hour, he lay on his sick bed, looking out across the-thatched roofs of Berbera to the Arab- (Grice sneezes loudly. Turning) Good Lord, what's that! (The others come down in the following order: Steele, Raleigh and Evelyn come down R.; Phyllis and Tarver up C.; Faraday to R. of Celia; Madge by Aunt Ida's chair. Grice has gone down L.C. Some of the party are carrying programs. The doors are left open.) In the midst of our sad communings, how strangely out of place are these revelers.

Omnes. Revelers?

Smith. They come flushed with new wine.

Grice. New wine? They dined with me, sir.

Celia. (Turning to Faraday) Was the concert a success?

Faraday. Of course it was. We were there. (Goes up stage.)

Grice. (Plaintively) We missed you, Celia.

Smith. Miss Faraday couldn't go without hearing Colonel Smith's last message.

(Aunt Ida laughs hysterically.)

Faraday. (Crossing to Aunt Ida. Sternly) Not again, Ida, not again.

(Aunt Ida relapses into a state of semi-oblivion.)

Smith. It's not nearly ended yet.

Steele. Well, she has had over two hours to hear it in.

Smith. (Scornfully) Two hours? It was a long message. He lay for weeks on his sickbed gazing across the thatched roofs of Berbera to-watching-

Raleigh. Oh, yes, watching the Arab cows feeding at their anchors.

Smith. Dhows, man, dhows!

Raleigh. Well, dhows or cows, I don't care. And as for Smith, I tell you, I am fed with the fellow.

(Celia explodes into laughter, covers her face with handkerchief, and sits R. of table.)

Steele. (Thinking Celia is crying) You brute! You-you blundering idiot!

Tarver. (Coming down R. of Celia) Even now he's dead, he's kept you from the concert to-night. My agent told me that we just shouldn't do it. He expects I will lose by a hundred votes.

Faraday. How's that?

Celia. (Looking up quickly) Oh, no, Bobby, it's not too late. We'll help you. (Rises and crosses to Smith, who is R.)

Smith. I am at your service, Miss Faraday.

Tarver. (To Smith, eagerly) And you're some good-aren't you? (Goes up to Phyllis, back C.)

Faraday. We may call on you later, Vavasour.

Smith. Do. Do.

Faraday. (Taking Admiral by the arm and going) Come along, Admiral. Come and have a cigar and we'll talk it over. (Spoken off stage R.) Smith or no Smith, we must win this seat.

Tarver. (Taking Phyllis' arm) Madge-Evelyn. Let's go and count the names of the hundred beasts who won't vote for me.

(Phyllis and Tarver and Madge move to door C. and exit R.)

Evelyn. (Who has moved up to door, turns in door. Coquettishly to Steele and Raleigh) I'm afraid I can't count-without some big, strong man to help me.

Raleigh. (Looking round) Ask Steele. He took all the 'rithmetic prizes at his kindergarten.

Steele. (Looking round) I'll come in one minute, Lady Trenchard. There's something on my program I must show to Miss Faraday. (Indicating program.)

Evelyn. (At door) Well-! When Celia has quite done with all of you- (Exit rapidly.)

(Clock chimes half hour. A moment after Evelyn has gone off, she presumably switches off lights in room off C. -then third border is put out and no light except glow from fire remains. The doors remain wide open.)

Raleigh. Half past ten! I thought Colonel Vavasour's train left at ten, Miss Faraday.

Celia. (Confused) Oh, did it?

Smith. (Coolly) Well, didn't it? And in any case, Mr. Faraday's clock is wrong.

Steele. (Taking out his watch) Wrong? Not a bit of it.

Raleigh. (Also takes out his watch) I make it ten thirty-two. (Ironically) Perhaps your watch will correct me, Colonel Vavasour.

Smith. (Crosses R.C. Absent-mindedly feels for his watch and starts as he realizes his mistake. Celia sees this and the true situation flashes on her. She swings up stage for a moment to cover her shock and embarrassment and then returns and faces Smith, as she leans against the chair L. of table. Raleigh and Steele have turned to each other and are discussing the situation, for the moment ignoring Celia and Smith. As Celia faces Smith, he flounders through his explanation) Well, you see, I-I-I-I-I left my watch in town to be cleaned. It ran too fast.

Celia. (Sarcastically) Like the inventive genius of its owner, perhaps, and your scarf pin; no doubt, you've taken advantage of this period of mourning to have all your jewelry attended to. (Turns away R.)

Smith. Miss Faraday, please-

Celia. (Turning back) Colonel Vavasour, I think you said your name was. You will allow me, won't you, to lend you the watch you so kindly brought from poor Colonel Smith. Otherwise, you know, you might be a very long time without your own, and since your grief must now be lessened, by having shared it with me, perhaps you might be induced to mitigate your mourning and wear his pin. Do let me send them to you. And I'll include a little nursery fable which perhaps you know, called, "The Tortoise and the Hare," because I think-I've caught up. Now, I'll say good-night to you, Colonel Vavasour, and good-bye.

Smith. (Seriously) Good-bye?

Celia. (Moving to C. and speaking to Raleigh) There is a midnight train to town?

Raleigh. Oh, yes.

Celia. (To Smith) I'm quite sure that Mr. Steele and Mr. Raleigh will be happy to drop you at the station on their way home.

Steele. Delighted!

Celia. (To Raleigh, shaking hands) So sorry to hurry you away.

Raleigh. Oh, I shall see you to-morrow, Miss Faraday.

Celia. Yes, do. (Nods good-night to Steele.)

Aunt Ida. (Who is still at desk, her head resting wearily on her hands. Sleepily) Everybody going?

Celia. (Crosses L.) Yes, dear, Colonel Vavasour is. (Crosses to Aunt Ida.)

Smith. Is there nothing left unsaid? Is there nothing left for me to say but good-bye?

Celia. (Over her shoulder) Nothing.

Smith. (Bows. Speaks in a brisk, matter-of-fact way, as he crosses C.D.) Well, since you two fellows are kind enough to offer me a lift. (Exits, followed by Raleigh and Steele, who go off, chatting ad lib. and closing door.)

(WARN Electrician for lights out.)

Celia. (Tearing off her black shawl, waving it in the air, and throwing herself in the chair L. of table, her back to the audience, disclosing her gay and decollete bodice) Oh-h-h-h-h! Oh-h-h-h-h! Oh-h-h-h-h! Oh-h-h-h-h!

Aunt Ida. (Going to Celia) Celia, what have you been up to now?

Celia. Oh, when I think of it, Aunt Ida! "The Arab dhows riding at their anchors," and how I told him- Oh, Heavens-how I told him he ought to marry. Oh-h-h-h-h! Oh-h-h-h-h!

Aunt Ida. Celia Faraday! (Goes up to her and catches her by both shoulders) Are you mad? I vow I've a great mind to shake you.

Celia. I wish you would, Aunt Ida. I wish you would. (Looking toward door R.) I don't believe it. I don't believe it. I don't believe what I do believe. For Heaven's sake, dear, go and fetch me the army list, so that I may make sure of what an awful fool I've been, and if what I believe is true, let me sit like this in the dark. (Goes up and presses switch and sits in chair L. of door. Lights out.) – All the rest of my life and blush and blush and blush until my cheeks drop off from blushing.

(Aunt Ida comes L. of Celia's chair. There is only the moonlight now in the morning room, with a shaft of moonlight shining through window R. on Celia. The library, seen through the wide open doors, is lit up by the glow from the fire.)

Aunt Ida. Are you mad? (Starts to exit to get army list. Sees Smith and draws away R.) Hush-sh-sh-sh!

(Smith in an ulster is seen to cross cautiously at back to table. He lights two or three matches at once and looks through book-slide for army list. Finding this, he takes it and smiles in a satisfied manner, and holding the match to the list, moves off stage R. Celia and Aunt Ida peer after him. A flicker is seen on the walls and furniture of the room off stage, as of the book burning. After a pause, Celia rises and stands C. in doorway, facing audience.)

Celia. The army list!

Aunt Ida. Now he's thrown the army list into the fire. (Ready motor horn.) Celia-has Colonel Vavasour gone mad too?

Celia. So! He thinks he can prevent my finding out, does he? That I can't be absolutely sure until to-morrow? Well (Rushes off R.)

Aunt Ida. Perhaps we are all mad-mad as hatters. (Goes R. and presses light switch.)

(LIGHTS Up.)

Celia. (Off stage) Army lists don't burn as suddenly as that, I know. (At door) I have burned too many of them. (Reappears, carrying the partly burned army list in tongs. She comes in blowing at the burning book) Blow, Aunt Ida, blow! (Aunt Ida joins her. They both blow to put out the sparks.) Only the A's are burnt, Aunt Ida, only the A's. (Goes down L. of table, drops book on table, and hands the tongs to Aunt Ida.)

Aunt Ida. (Waving the tongs) Only the A's! Ha! Ha! Only the A's!

(Motor horn is heard off R.3.)

Celia. What's that, Aunt Ida, what's that?

Aunt Ida. It's Mr. Raleigh's motor.

Celia. (With an outburst of relief) Well, then, he's gone, isn't he, he's gone.

Aunt Ida. Yes, he's gone, he's gone!

Celia. (Picks up book and runs through it) V-V-V-V-V- Vallance-Valpey-Vanderfeldt-Varley-not a Vavasour.

Aunt Ida. Celia!

Celia. (Throwing down book) Not one in the whole army list. No? Not the tiniest little bit of a one.

Aunt Ida. (Flourishing tongs more wildly) Then who is he? What did he come here for?

Celia. I don't know, but he's gone now, isn't he? He's gone!

Aunt Ida. I know he's gone, but what did he come here for? (Celia looks at her. A light breaks over her.) Celia Faraday! That man-had your letter-in his pocket. He told Phyllis he had your letter! I thought it strange! Then Colonel Vavasour isn't Colonel Vavasour. (Sits R. of C. table.)

Celia. No!

Aunt Ida. He's Colonel Smith.

Celia. Yes.

Aunt Ida. He's-

Celia. (In the smallest possible voice) – Mr. Wobbles! (Enter Faraday R.IE.) Father, dear, has Colonel Vavasour gone?

Faraday. No, my dear.

Celia. What!!!!

Faraday. I was fortunate enough to catch him at the door.

(Aunt Ida drops tongs on floor beside her R.)

Celia. But, Father, what ever possessed you to ask him to stay? (Crosses L. Sits.)

Faraday. You know he offered to help us. Things are looking pretty black for Tarver. We need all the help we can get at this mass meeting in the morning. So I have persuaded Colonel Vavasour to stop over and take the noon train.

(Faraday turns toward door R.I and proudly ushers in Smith. Celia and Aunt Ida turn their heads away, much discomfited.)

Faraday. (Taking Smith by the arm and passing him across him) A room must be prepared at once. Has Mrs. Brown gone to bed yet?

Celia. (Still seated L. of table. Haughtily) I don't know, Father. She frequently goes to bed.

Faraday. Eh?

Celia. (Confused) I mean, early.

Faraday. (As Smith goes C.) Good-for-nothing old person, that housekeeper. Come with me. I'll look out for you myself. (They walk toward door C.) We'll be back presently, Celia, to say goodnight to you and your aunt. (They exit C. door to L. Off stage) Tell Martin to bring in whiskey and soda.

Celia. (After a pause) Did you hear that, Aunt Ida?

Aunt Ida. (Wearily) Uh-huh.

Celia. "Stay here for the night and then take the noon train." That's our train, Aunt Ida-the noon train. Isn't this an awful situation? Now, what are we going to do?

Aunt Ida. (Still more wearily) I don't know.

Celia. I can't face that man again, after-I can't. I have got to get out of this house myself, to-night, some way, somehow. (Rushes up to C. doors, closing and locking them.) How can I manage it? Think, Aunt Ida. Think-think-think-think-think.

Aunt Ida. (Disgustedly) Think-think-think-think-think. I can't think. My poor old head won't stand much more of this.

Celia. (Coming down back of Aunt Ida and putting her arms about her) I've got it. Since he's going to take our train, there's nothing left for us to do but take his.

Aunt Ida. (Startled) What?

Celia. Yes, that midnight train. I don't care where it goes or if it ever gets there. We'll manage to reach Southampton somehow before to-morrow night. The thing is to get away from here as quickly as possible. We must hurry terribly. It's nearly eleven now. We can have a compartment to ourselves. I'll see if Wilson is still at the station. (Crossing to telephone on desk) He'll tell us all about it.

Aunt Ida. (Protesting) I'm only half packed.

Celia. That doesn't matter. I'm not packed at all. Kent's a jewel. She will stay up all night, packing everything, and follow us in the morning. (Rings telephone and lifts off receiver) Hello! Are you there?

Aunt Ida. (Still protesting) My tailor suit has gone to the cleaner's and won't be home till morning. I've nothing to wear.

Celia. There is no time to wear anything. We must go without any clothes.

Aunt Ida. What!!

Celia. Except motor coats, I mean. We've got to go as we are. (Into telephone) Hello! Yes, put me through to the station, quick, please. I want to speak to Wilson. (To Aunt Ida) Now, don't worry, Aunt Ida, I will bundle you up warmly.

Aunt Ida. I'll have to have something to eat. I have had nothing since morning. I couldn't eat a bite at the dinner and I feel so gone and faint.

Celia. Well, if you're feeling faint, dear, take a drink of that brandy. That'll do you good.

Aunt Ida. Oh, no. I'm not addicted to the use of those things.

Celia. But, if you're faint, you need it. (Into the telephone) Hello! Hello! Is that you, Wilson?

Aunt Ida. But I do feel very faint.

Celia. Just a minute, Wilson. (Puts down receiver and runs across to brandy bottle, picks up bottle and pours it into whiskey and soda glass, while she talks excitedly. She pours the glass half full.) Now, please, dear. Don't be ridiculous at a time like this. You might have one of your dreadful fainting spells in the motor, and I shouldn't know what to do for you. Now, come, come, dear, drink this. (Rushes to the back of Aunt Ida's chair and holds the glass while she drinks. Aunt Ida drains the glass, making a wry face and shuddering. Celia hurriedly puts down glass and flies back to telephone.)

Aunt Ida. If only it doesn't go to my head!

Celia. Oh, it won't, it won't. (Into telephone) Hello, Wilson, are you there? Well, listen, this is Miss Faraday. Yes, yes, Miss Celia. I've got to get away to-night on the midnight train. It's most important and will you look up at once what connections that train makes for Southampton-yes, Southampton. Also please wire Bletchley, and have a compartment reserved for me. What? It will take you ten minutes? Please hurry. There is so little time to spare. (Replaces receiver.) Now we must get the motor. (Springs up from chair and goes up to bell-push L. of C. door, rings bell, runs down to R. of Aunt Ida and picks up the tongs from floor.) How do you feel now, Aunt Ida? How do you feel now?