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Chapter Four

Jack walked into the coffee shop half an hour later, still in his business-casual church clothes, briefcase in hand. He had a sample contract on a clipboard, a tablet to take notes, his calendar on his phone.

Having all his supplies made him feel slightly more in charge of a situation that seemed to be spiraling out of control.

He felt uneasy and uncomfortable and wrong every time he thought about hiring Arianna as a nanny, even temporarily. Partly, it was what he knew about her being disorganized and messy. More than that was the fact that Chloe had had real issues with her sister and would never have approved of her taking care of Sammy.

And even more than all that, he just felt strangely uncomfortable with his former sister-in-law.

When he thought about Sammy, though, he knew what he had to do, what was right. Sammy liked Arianna, and she was good with him. And they needed to start his treatment now, not when the perfect nanny showed up in six months or a year.

Inside the shop, the deep, rich fragrance of good coffee soothed him. He waved to a few patrons and headed for the counter. He’d order before Arianna got here, get her some coffee, too.

“Jack!” came a sunny voice from the other side of the shop.

He looked up and saw a mass of coppery curls, then Arianna’s wide smile. His muscles tightened, and he felt a strong urge to back out the door. Stronger was the urge to go toward her, even though it felt like he just might be headed for disaster.

She gestured him over, holding up a drink. “I already got you something!” she called over the buzz of the small crowd.

As Jack turned and walked toward her, he was aware of several people watching. Arianna wasn’t quiet.

And she’d gotten him one of those expensive whipped-cream-topped iced coffee drinks he didn’t even like.

“Thanks,” he said as he reached the table and sat down. “You didn’t have to do that. How much was it?” He got out his wallet.

“It’s on me,” she said. “You’ve got to try this. I had one the other day and it’s so good! It’s a mocha java supreme. Of course, I shouldn’t have it, it’s full of calories, but you certainly don’t need to worry about calories.”

“Thanks.” He sat down, feeling concerned, and studied her. She was talking fast, even for Arianna. She was stressed out, too, he realized, as much as or more than he was.

Compassion washed over him then. Arianna was living in that hoarder house with her aunt and uncle and probably very low on cash. She needed this job, and his own worries paled.

He got out his clipboard and notes. “Before we start going through this,” he said, “are you sure you’re interested in the job? It’ll be more responsibility than most nanny jobs, because you’d be supervising some of his therapists and doing the exercises they suggest. You’d have days off, of course, but you wouldn’t be able to pursue a full-time art therapy position.”

“I’m sure,” she said, her eyes shining.

He got tangled up in that gaze for a few seconds, then looked away and cleared his throat. “Okay, then. Most of the sample contracts I looked at—” he pulled out the one he’d printed to show her “—have clauses about what will happen if either party decides to back out early. And we need to nail down an equitable schedule so you don’t get burned-out.” He drew a breath to continue.

She put a hand over his. “Jack. I trust you. Whatever you think is best.”

Her hand on his felt soft and delicate and warm.

He straightened and pulled his hand away. “I can draft a schedule if that would work for you. Then we can go over it and finalize the details. Now, let’s talk about pay.”

“I’d do it for free,” she said promptly.

“Arianna!” Jack shook his head, frowning at her. “You should never say that to a potential employer.”

“You’re not just that, you’re my former brother-in-law. And Sammy is my nephew. Jack, we don’t have to hash out every single detail, nor get everything down in writing. We can make it happen with a handshake.”

He pointed his mechanical pencil at her. “You’re way too trusting. People will take advantage of you.”

To his surprise, she nodded. “It’s happened before,” she said. “But should I let that change me into a suspicious person?”

He really wanted to know who’d taken advantage of her, because he wanted to strangle that person. Some guy, most likely. “Not a suspicious person,” he said, “but maybe a cautious one.”

“You’re probably right,” she said with a shrug. “But for now...I’m super excited to be working with Sammy. I know I can help him.”

Jack had to admit that her attitude was enormously appealing. If a stranger he was interviewing had acted so enthusiastically, he’d have hired her immediately. Well, after checking her résumé and background, of course. Unlike Arianna, he wasn’t impulsive.

And there were a lot of details to straighten out. “Now, as far as where you’ll stay,” he said. “I have plenty of room in the house, but I’m afraid that would raise a few eyebrows. I wouldn’t want your reputation to suffer.”

“Or yours,” she said, sipping her drink. “But actually, I’ve got it covered. Penny offered me the use of her upstairs apartment if I’ll clean it out and decorate it so she can rent it in the fall.”

“That’s perfect.” Another thing that was working out better than he expected. Not what he was used to. He often expected the worst.

He plowed on through his list of things to discuss. “How do you feel about organizing the TSS schedule? Is that something you can handle?”

A smile quirked the corner of her mouth. “I can be organized, Jack,” she said with exaggerated patience. “I’m just not when it doesn’t matter.”

It’s important to sweat the small stuff, he heard in his mind. Chloe’s voice. The same as his mother’s and father’s. Chloe had gotten along so well with them, partly because she’d tried so hard to do everything right.

Guilt suffused him. Chloe hadn’t trusted Arianna and wouldn’t think that hiring her was doing things right. She’d never sanction this arrangement.

Arianna fumbled in her oversize bag and brought out a tablet computer. “I can print this out for you later, if you want,” she said. “It’s my résumé.” She enlarged it so he could see. “I’ve taken two classes focused on kids with special needs. They were a little older than Sammy, but the principles are the same.” She scrolled to another section. “And I did an internship in an early-childhood program. I love babies.” For just a moment, her eyes went wistful.

Jack studied those eyes as questions he’d never thought to ask before pressed into his awareness. Had Arianna wanted to have kids? Did she ever think about it? Was there a boyfriend in the picture?

Around them, the buzz of conversation indicated that the coffee shop was getting crowded. But Jack couldn’t seem to look away from Arianna.

She didn’t seem nearly so affected. “This section is my coursework,” she continued on, scrolling down the tablet’s screen and highlighting a section to show him. “We did a lot of psychology, life-span development, counseling work. Here, take a look.” She handed him the tablet.

He scanned it quickly, then read more closely, impressed. “You have so much coursework in special education.”

She laughed, a sunny, lilting sound. “Don’t look so shocked, Jack. It’s part of most art and music therapy programs.”

He met her eyes over the tablet and couldn’t avoid smiling, almost as big as she did. “There’s a lot more to you than meets the eye, isn’t there?”

“You haven’t scratched the surface.” Was there a tiny bit of flirtation in her tone, in her expression as she looked at him over the rim of her cup?

He took a long pull on his own drink, sucking up frothy sweetness. “You know,” he said, “these are actually good.”

Again, their gazes tangled.

“Son!” The deep voice penetrated his awareness at the same time a familiar, beefy hand gripped his shoulder.

He glanced up as the usual tension squeezed his chest. He knew exactly what his father was thinking. “Hi, Dad. Do you remember—”

“Arianna Shrader. How could I forget.” His father didn’t extend his hand for shaking and neither did she, instead inclining her head slightly, as if she were a queen and he, a lowly peasant.

The attitude wasn’t lost on Dad, Jack could see. But looking at Arianna, he could tell his father’s attitude wasn’t lost on her, either.

“What brings about this meeting?” Disapproval dripped from his father’s voice.

“I’m going to be working for Jack,” Arianna said. “Taking care of Sammy for a while.”

“You’re what?” Dad’s voice squeaked, and his face reddened. He looked at Jack as if he’d just committed a federal crime. “Was this your idea?”

“It was my idea,” Arianna interjected before Jack could open his mouth. “It made sense, given my background and Jack’s needs. Is there a problem?”

“Sure seems like a problem to me, you moving in with your sister’s husband.”

Arianna gasped.

At the same moment, Jack stood and stepped forward so that he was in between his father and Arianna. “Arianna is Sammy’s aunt,” he said, “and there’s nothing inappropriate about her caring for him.”

“Perceptions mean a lot,” Dad said, but his voice was quieter. He stepped sideways to look at Arianna. “It’s your reputation that would suffer the most. This is a small town.”

“I won’t be living in.” Arianna’s normally expressive eyes were cool and flat. “Your son’s virtue is safe with me.”

His father’s face went almost purple, his mouth opening and closing like a dying fish.

“It’s under control, Dad.” Jack put a hand on his father’s arm. “Nothing to worry about.”

Dad looked at their half-empty cups, pursed his lips and shook his head. “I hope so,” he said abruptly and walked away, weaving through the coffee shop’s small tables.

“I’m sorry for that,” Jack said. “Dad can be a little...”

“Judgmental? I’m familiar,” Arianna said, and suddenly, Jack wondered what kinds of things his father had said to her on the few occasions they’d all gotten together.

Certainly, the buoyancy had gone out of her face and voice, and he continued to think about that as they agreed on a few last details and a start date—tomorrow.

But as he walked her to her car, Jack couldn’t forget what his father had said. Perceptions were important. At least a few people in their small town might start to link their names together.

Chloe would have felt that as the ultimate disrespect. If that wretched blood clot hadn’t already killed her, this would have.

Was he making a huge mistake hiring Arianna?

* * *

“The place is kind of a mess,” Penny warned Arianna that evening as they climbed the outside steps to Arianna’s new apartment. “It’s been a rough year.”

Arianna had heard bits and pieces of Penny’s story: how she and her husband had bought the ranch with high hopes. How they’d worked together—she with enthusiasm for the mission, he with enthusiasm for their pretty young office assistant. How he’d left Penny high and dry, and absconded with the funds and the assistant.

Penny was so kind and so beautiful, Arianna couldn’t imagine how anyone could do that to her.

But then again, men could quickly tire of a woman when there were responsibilities involved, or when they found a new obsession. She’d learned that the hard way from Sammy’s father.

Penny threw open the door at the top of the steps, then put a hand on Arianna’s arm, stopping her. “You’d be doing me a favor if you’d move in and fix it up, but it’ll be a lot of work. You be honest, now. If it’s too much for you, say no. I’ll understand.”

Little did Penny realize how few options Arianna actually had. “I’m sure it’ll be fine,” she assured the older woman. “I love a good project.” Not least because it would keep her busy and push her worries away.

“Just take a look before you say anything,” Penny said and held the door for Arianna to walk through.

Inside, hard-back chairs stood at odd angles amid boxes, a big cooler and a bike that had to date from the 1980s. The place smelled musty, and through the giant dirty window, sunbeams illuminated the dust motes that danced in the air.

Arianna looked past the surface, something she’d always loved to do. The place had great bones and amazing potential. She clasped her hands together. “This is perfect!”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“No! That slanted wood ceiling is gorgeous. I love a nonboxy space. And the view from the windows... It’ll look out on mountains, right?”

“The Sangre de Cristos, once it’s clean. You can barely see them through that coating of dirt and dust.” Penny picked up a photo album covered in white lace. She grimaced at the happy couple on the cover and then dropped the album into the trash.

Arianna lifted an eyebrow but didn’t comment. Not her business.

She looked around, scoping out the space. “I’d put the bed there,” she said, gesturing to a space directly across from the big window. “Wall hangings should be big, with these tall ceilings. A sitting area over here.” As she spoke, the place came to life in her imagination. “It’s so much more than I expected in a place to live.”

Penny put her hands on her hips and stared at her. “Now, why would you say that? Where were you living before, that this place seems so fabulous?”

Arianna flushed. “Oh, just here and there.” No need to tell Penny about how unsettled the past couple of years had been, and how she hadn’t been able to commit to anything since giving up her son. “Two days ago I was out of a job and practically out of a home, and now I have both.” She bit her lip and shot up a prayer of thanks. “God’s so good.”

Even as she spoke, worry crept in. Penny was wise and saw a lot. Would she guess the truth about Sammy? Would Jack?

They worked together hauling boxes down the stairs and throwing them into the ranch foreman’s truck. “Finn said once it’s full, he’ll drive it over to the dump,” Penny said.

“Just look at the floor,” Arianna commented once a big square of it was cleared. “With a bright rug and a polish, these plank floors will come to life.”

“You’re so positive,” Penny said. “You’re going to be good for Jack.” She hesitated, then added, “In a way your sister wasn’t.”

“Oh!” Color rose in Arianna’s face. “It’s not the same at all. I’m just the temporary nanny.” Jack had made that very clear. He’d sent her a text after their conversation just to confirm that she understood that.

Penny didn’t seem to have heard her. “His parents were so rigid. His mom’s passed, rest her soul, but his dad seems to have gotten even more... What? Judgmental? Tense? Your sister had some of those same qualities.” Penny smiled at her. “It strikes me that you don’t.”

Yes, true, to her detriment. She’d been the one to get pregnant without being married and disgrace the family. While poor Chloe, always such a perfectionist—and so perfect—hadn’t been able to have the one thing that meant everything to her: a baby.

“Anyone home?” came a call from downstairs.

“We’re up here, Willie.” Penny brushed the back of her hand over her sweaty forehead and gestured toward a door Arianna hadn’t seen before. “This is where the downstairs connects. You can lock the door for privacy or come down to use the laundry machines whenever you want.”

A short, rotund but muscular man with a long gray ponytail huffed up the steps. “There you are,” he said, sweeping off his Vietnam veterans hat. He gave Arianna a quick nod, but his eyes were fixed on Penny. “Can I offer you lovely ladies some help? Before I offer to take you to lunch?” he added to Penny.

Color rose in Penny’s cheeks. “Willie, have you met Arianna? She’s going to be living here and working as a nanny for Jack.”

Willie smiled at her, his face breaking into a million creases. “I’m pleased to meet you,” he said. “That Jack works hard. He could use some help.” He turned back toward Penny. “Now, what about that lunch?”

Penny gestured at her dusty work clothes. “Look at me. I can’t possibly go out. And we wouldn’t ask you to do our grunt work.”

“I was a grunt in the service,” Willie said with a wink at Arianna. “The company’s a lot better here.”

“No, thanks, Willie,” Penny said. “Another time.”

“Maybe tomorrow night?” he asked. “I’ve got a gift card for the Cold Creek Inn. You could wear that red dress you have.”

Penny’s cheeks went pink. “I... We’ll see,” she said and turned back to the box she’d been sorting through.

“Talk her into it, will you?” he asked Arianna. “You know where to find me,” he added to Penny and then descended the stairs.

“Looks like you have an admirer,” Arianna said, waggling her eyebrows at Penny.

“Oh, he’s just lonely because his friend Long John is off on his honeymoon,” Penny said. “Those two have been best friends forever and lived next door in the ranch cabins until just recently. Long John married a woman from town, Beatrice Patton, just as soon as her chemo treatments ended. I think they kind of bonded over their health issues, since Long John has Parkinson’s.”

“Wow.” The older woman’s matter-of-fact words put Arianna’s own problems into perspective.

“Anyway,” Penny continued, “Long John getting married and moving down to town is an adjustment for Willie.”

“I don’t know if the invitation is all about missing his friend,” Arianna teased. “I doubt he’d want Long John to wear a red dress to lunch.”

“Oh, stop it!” Penny said, laughing a little. “Willie’s a nice man, but...”

“He’s older than you are. By kind of a lot.”

“It’s not that. It’s that I’m not ready.” Penny sighed. “Truth is, when my husband left me, he took that part of me that used to trust people. Or trust men anyway.”

“I can understand that.” Arianna hadn’t dated anyone since Sammy’s father for that very reason. But while her own loneliness felt well deserved, Penny’s made her sad. “Sounds like he just wants to take you to dinner. Maybe you should go.”

“I don’t want him to spend his gift card on me. He’d think it means more than it does, and I don’t want to hurt anyone, but especially someone who lives on the ranch. We have to be able to coexist.”

Coexist. That was what she and Jack had to learn to do, too. But it was hard to look at it so impersonally when there was a child involved.

His child. Her child.

The sound of footsteps trotting up the steps interrupted their conversation. There was a tap on the door, and Jack’s face appeared in the glass. “Need any help?” he asked.

Yes, Arianna wanted to say. Can you help me make my heart stop pounding?

“Absolutely,” Penny said. “We have a bunch of boxes that need to be moved down to Finn’s truck. You look like just the man for the job.”

“It’s good to be needed,” Jack said. “Sammy’s TSS kicked me out. She said I was hovering.”

“Is Sammy okay being alone with her?” Arianna stood and looked out the window toward Jack’s house.

“For now, yes,” he said. “She has me on speed dial, and I’m to stay within shouting distance. She and Sammy were doing work with his vocalizing and I was distracting him, apparently.”

“Do they know what caused his autism?” The question seemed to burst out of her. She hadn’t even known she was wondering that. But she must’ve spoken intensely, because the other two stared at her.

“No one knows for sure,” Jack said. “There’s definitely a genetic component, and there’s a lot about Sammy’s background we don’t know, given that it was a closed adoption. There’s supposed to be a work-around if he develops any health problems, so maybe...” He trailed off.

Arianna’s stomach roiled. She couldn’t talk about Sammy’s genetics with Jack. She couldn’t hold it together, couldn’t keep him from guessing the truth. At the same time, she wanted to do anything she could to help her son. “Would it make a difference if his genetics were known?” She tried hard to keep the question casual.

“I don’t think so. We’re still diving into the same type of intervention, and as early as possible. As you’ll find out, the more you’re around him and his therapists.”

“I’m looking forward to working with him.” And she should change the subject. She pointed toward the corner of the room. “Those boxes over there need carrying down.”

Had she pulled it off? Or did both Penny and Jack think she was acting weird?

Fortunately, her worries were interrupted by another knock, this one on the downstairs door.

Penny rolled her eyes. “I can go weeks without anyone ever coming to visit, but today, when I’m trying to get something done, it’s Grand Central Station.” She headed down the stairs.

That left Arianna alone when Jack trotted back up the steps. “Ready for another load,” he said.

Arianna indicated a stack of three boxes. “You take two. I’ll take one,” she said, trying for a businesslike tone.

But as she watched him pick up both boxes with ease, noticed his muscles straining the sleeves of his T-shirt, Arianna felt anything but detached.

Moving here, living here, spending time with Sammy... Was it a huge mistake? She’d promised Chloe never to reveal the truth, had reiterated that promise when Chloe was dying. How could she go back on it?

Besides, revealing the truth might very well erase her new, tentative relationship with her son. If Jack knew about the huge secret she’d kept from him, he’d be furious. He might consider her character fatally flawed and refuse to let her see Sammy anymore. Which was his right; he was Sammy’s father by adoption and by law.

But now that she’d gotten a taste of spending time with her son, she couldn’t imagine giving up the privilege. More important than her own feelings, Sammy needed the help she could offer.

She just had to make sure to keep her distance from Jack. She liked him too much, but she didn’t dare start to confide in him, to get close. No sense torturing herself.

They carried several more boxes and then paused at the same time, surveying the attic apartment. What to do next wasn’t clear.

“Are you going to be okay living here? Looks like there’s a lot of work to be done.” Jack frowned at the remaining mess. “It would drive me crazy.”

“Think where I’ve been staying,” she said. “At least this mess is clean-up-able.”

“You have a good attitude,” he said, nodding approval.

It was the same thing Penny had said, and it shouldn’t have warmed her as much as it did.

They carried one more load down. Penny stood beside an expensive sedan, talking to a man in a suit. They seemed to be arguing, and within a few seconds, the man threw up his hands, climbed into the car and drove away. Penny watched him go, then turned back toward the house. When she saw them, she shook her head and rolled her eyes. “I think I’m going to have to get out of here for a little bit,” she said. “These men are driving me crazy.”

“Is Branson Howe bugging you for a date?” Jack asked.

“Now, why would you say that?” Penny looked irritated.

“Because I think he’s been trying to get up the courage to do that for a long time. You didn’t shut him down, did you?”

“Yes, I did. I shut everyone down.”

“You’re breaking their hearts,” Jack said.

“Don’t you start.” Penny bustled inside and came back with her purse and keys. “I’m serious. I’m leaving. I’m going to go see a woman friend, got that? A woman. Because women are a lot more sensible than men.” She climbed into her truck and drove off in a flurry of gravel.