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38
CHAPTER

CAROL GIRARD

Carol and Doug arrived at the fondue restaurant in the Seattle University district before Rick. They were already seated and had each ordered a glass of chardonnay while they waited for her brother and possibly Lisa.

It had taken Carol several days to reach him. Their conversation had been short. She’d invited Rick to dinner and asked him to bring Lisa, too, if she was available. After setting the date and time, he’d promised to see if Lisa could come.

“Do you think she’ll be with him?” Carol asked, clutching her husband’s arm. This night could be one of the most important in their married life.

Before Doug had an opportunity to answer, Carol saw the hostess leading her brother to the table. He was alone, but perhaps that was for the best. After talking the matter over, she and Doug had decided her brother could present their idea to Lisa. She might have found it awkward to discuss such a private matter with complete strangers.

Carol had intended to spend the evening socializing with Rick—or the couple if Lisa showed up—and then afterward invite them to the apartment, where they’d make their suggestion. Doug would do the talking, they’d agreed, and that would give Carol a chance to gauge Rick’s feelings.

“Here you are,” Rick said. He kissed Carol’s cheek before taking a seat across from them. His eyes avoided hers. “Mom told me about the miscarriage. I’m so sorry.”

“Thank you.”

Their drinks came then, providing a distraction. Rick ordered a double whiskey. “I’m not flying until tomorrow night,” he explained.

“How’s everything in your life?” Doug asked as soon as the waitress had taken their dinner order.

“Hunky dory,” Rick said flippantly.

Carol reached for her husband’s hand beneath the table. “How’s Lisa?”

“Fine, I guess. I haven’t talked to her in a week or so.”

So he hadn’t bothered to extend the dinner invitation, after all. Well, she supposed it didn’t matter.

“You certainly seem to be in good spirits.” Rick directed the comment at Carol. “I expected you to be all depressed. Mom said you’d taken the miscarriage really hard.”

She grimaced. “I did, but life goes on.”

His drink arrived and Rick raised the ice-filled tumbler. “To life,” he said. Carol and Doug raised their glasses in response but didn’t echo his words.

“Actually, you and Lisa have a great deal to do with the improvement in my mood,” Carol ventured. Doug cast her a warning glance. She knew he was right. This wasn’t the time to bring up the reason for their dinner invitation.

“Me?” Her brother looked surprised.

Thankfully their server arrived with the first course of their meal, saving Carol from answering. The waitress lit the fondue burner and set a bowl filled with a hot cheese mixture on top. She added a variety of items to dip, including bread, sliced vegetables and fresh apples and pears.

Carol’s appetite had increased over the last week, but since the miscarriage she’d lost enough weight that many of her clothes no longer fit properly. For that evening out, she’d been forced to change her outfit three times. Everything in her closet hung on her like a tent.

“We’re thinking of adoption,” Carol announced. She simply couldn’t resist saying something, despite Doug’s caution.

Rick nodded as if he approved. “Good idea.”

“We thought so,” Carol murmured and rubbed her leg against Doug’s. Rick was so dense he hadn’t picked up on what should’ve been obvious.

“I talked to Ellie last week,” her brother said.

“How did it go?”

“She was cordial but I could tell that beneath all the politeness, she was pleased to hear from me. I asked her out to dinner next week.”

“Is she going?”

Rick shook his head. “I should’ve waited until I was back in Juneau. It’s much harder to turn me down in person.”

“What’s happening with Lisa?” Carol asked, hoping for information about the pregnant flight attendant.

“We decided to go our separate ways. We were never much of an item.”

Carol’s heart fell. “But you do intend to keep seeing her, don’t you?”

Her brother looked up, holding a piece of bread dripping with cheese over the fondue pot. “Oh, sure, that’s unavoidable with the two of us working the same flights. She’s a sweetheart and what happened is unfortunate. I have to say she’s handled it well.”

Carol sighed with relief. “You know, sometimes what seems like an accident isn’t one at all.”

“I guess.” Rick reached for another piece of bread. “Damn, this is good. Did either of you notice what kind of cheese this is?”

“Can’t say that I did,” Doug said.

Carol noticed a sharpness in her husband’s voice and glanced over to find him frowning. She wanted to ask what was wrong, but couldn’t. Now that the subject of Lisa had been introduced, Carol couldn’t bear to wait another moment.

“I’m sure you know how dreadful it was when I miscarried,” she said, studying her brother intently.

Rick sipped his drink, and then speared a slice of pear. “That was really bummer news.”

“One night last week, just before dawn, I was sitting in the dark thinking about all of this. I felt like a complete failure.”

“How so?”

“I’d failed myself. I’d failed Doug. You and I both know what a wonderful father he’d be. And I knew how disappointed Mom and Dad would be. They’re really looking forward to becoming grandparents. I felt as if my whole world had collapsed.”

Rick glanced at her. “Why would you feel like that?”

It would take too long to explain. “A woman feels those kinds of emotions when she can’t carry a pregnancy to term.”

Rick’s gaze slid to Doug and he winked. “Women. Can’t live with ‘em, can’t understand ‘em, but they sure as hell make life interesting, don’t they?”

Doug didn’t bother to respond.

“The reason I bring this up now—”

“Carol.” Doug placed his hand over hers. “Let’s enjoy our dinner.”

She nodded, but nearly had to bite her tongue to keep from prodding her brother with more questions about Lisa. Without the double whiskey—in fact, Rick was now on his second—he might have picked up on what she was trying to say.

The meal seemed to take forever. Any other night, Carol would have savored this time with her two favorite men in the world. Following the appetizer of cheese was the main course with shrimp and lobster cooked in a bubbling white wine sauce. When dessert finally arrived, strawberries and pound cake dipped in rich chocolate, Carol was so tense she couldn’t wait another minute.

“Would you like to come to our house for a nightcap?” Doug asked.

Rick glanced at his watch. “I’d better not.”

“But it’s important,” Carol blurted out. “Doug and I need to talk to you.”

Rick gave her a surprised look. “About what?”

Carol refused to let the evening end without broaching the subject of the adoption. “Doug and I want to ask about you and Lisa.”

Rick’s forehead creased in a frown. “I thought I told you we split up.”

“Yes, I know, but this doesn’t have anything to do with you as a couple. Doug and I—” she paused and looked at her husband briefly before returning her gaze to Rick “—we want to ask about the baby.”

“What baby?” Her brother seemed genuinely puzzled.

Carol leaned closer to him. “Lisa’s pregnant, right?”

“Was pregnant, you mean.”

Carol felt as if the chair had been yanked out from under her. “She miscarried?”

Rick shook his head. “She and I talked about this, you know. We both agreed there wasn’t any other option. Neither of us had planned on this pregnancy.”

“Yes, but—”

“All I could think was what Ellie would say if she found out, and then there’s eighteen bloody years of child support. A kid isn’t a responsibility I take lightly.”

“She had an abortion.” Carol felt needles of pain move up and down her arms.

“Like I said, Lisa and I discussed it. It’s her body, and the choice was hers.”

“But you told her you didn’t want the baby!”

“Damn straight. I don’t need that kind of complication in my life.”

“But Doug and I wanted to adopt the baby!”

“Honey.” Doug’s gentle voice broke through the fog of dismay and disbelief. “It isn’t going to happen. Let go of it.”

After the first jolt of shock she felt nothing. No anger, no outrage, no disappointment. Nothing. They might have been discussing the weather for all the emotion she experienced.

“I’m sorry,” Rick said, “but even if we’d known that, I don’t think we would’ve made any other choice.”

“Come on, honey, I think it’s time we left.” Doug helped her to her feet and if she wasn’t revealing any distress, he was.

“You were making a big assumption, weren’t you?” Rick demanded. “This is my life. It isn’t up to me to solve your problems for you.”

“Right,” Doug said. “This is our problem.”

Rick downed the last of his drink. “No need to get upset about it. These things happen.”

“Right.” Doug’s arm came around Carol.

“Thanks for dinner, you two. We’ll have to get together again soon.” Rick continued to sit at the table, staring blankly into space.

39
CHAPTER

ALIX TOWNSEND

Jacqueline picked up Alix outside her apartment building promptly at ten on Saturday morning. During the knitting session on Friday afternoon, Alix had casually mentioned her dinner date with Jordan in a fancy restaurant. Jacqueline had leaped upon it, eager for another opportunity to prove herself.

“I know what I did wrong,” Jacqueline insisted. “Give me a second chance and you won’t be sorry.”

Alix hoped that was true. When Jacqueline’s Mercedes pulled up to the curb, Alix stepped forward and opened the passenger door. “You’re sure about this?”

“Positive. Now get in, we’re on a schedule.”

Three months ago if anyone had told Alix she’d be friends with this society broad, Alix would have laughed outright. She and Jacqueline still sniped at each other, but now it was mostly for show. They had a reputation to live up to, and Alix wasn’t going to let it slide. Apparently Jacqueline shared her feelings.

Alix sat in the car and waited, wondering why Jacqueline hadn’t pulled onto the street.

“Seat belt,” the older woman said sternly.

Grumbling under her breath, Alix reached for the seat belt and clicked it in place.

“What?” Jacqueline snapped.

“Don’t be so prissy.”

“I’m not. By the way, we’re going to my daughter-in-law’s house.”

“Tammie Lee’s?” This was a switch. Alix had noticed a softening in Jacqueline not only toward her, but her daughter-in-law too. When Alix had first signed up for the knitting classes, Jacqueline had nothing good to say about the woman who’d married her precious son. That seemed to have changed, at least a little.

“Tammie Lee’s young and trendy. That’s the look you’re after, isn’t it?”

“It’s better than having you dress me like Barbara Bush.”

To Alix’s surprise, Jacqueline laughed. “Don’t put down our former First Ladies. I changed the spelling of my name in the fifth grade because of Jacqueline Kennedy.”

“My mother says she spelled my name with an I on purpose,” Alix confessed, “but I don’t think it was for any good reason. The fact is, she was probably drunk when she made out the birth certificate and accidentally misspelled it.” Alix didn’t know if that was true or not, but it was certainly possible.

They chatted on the ride to Tammie Lee’s, mostly about which fork to use first in a fancy restaurant and other rules of etiquette Jacqueline felt it was essential Alix know. They also discussed Lydia and wondered why her sister had been in the shop so much lately. Jacqueline had phoned to ask, and Alix had stopped by a couple of times. All Margaret would say was that Lydia was under the weather. Friday’s knitting session had been rather unsatisfactory without their teacher and friend, but no one complained openly. Alix just hoped Lydia would be back the following week and so did Jacqueline.

They drove for a good twenty minutes before Jacqueline pulled into the driveway of what looked like a mansion. The house was modern with a big front yard and lots of flowers. The white pillars in front reminded her of pictures she’d once seen in a magazine. Super cool.

No sooner had Jacqueline turned off the engine than the front door opened and a girl who didn’t seem to be any older than Alix stepped outside. Tammie Lee looked like she was ready to pop at any moment and wore shorts, a maternity top and no shoes. She had a smile as big as any Alix had ever seen and her eyes sparkled with welcome.

“You’re right on time.” Tammie Lee held open the screen door. “I’ve been so eager for you to get here.”

Alix loved listening to her talk. Tammie Lee had the softest, sweetest voice she’d ever heard.

Tammie Lee hugged Jacqueline as if it’d been a year of Sundays since she’d last seen her mother-in-law. “And you must be Alix. Jacqueline didn’t tell me what a beauty you are. Why, this is going to be easier than frying up griddle cakes. You must come in and let me take a good look at you.” Before Alix could object, not that she would have, Tammie Lee had taken her arm and led her into the house.

“Where’s Paul?” Jacqueline asked.

“Golfing with his daddy,” Tammie Lee said and sounded surprised that her mother-in-law didn’t know.

Alix noticed a flicker of something in the older woman’s eyes. For an instant it looked like pain, but Alix was sure she must be wrong.

“I’ve got everything set up in the spare bedroom,” Tammie Lee said. “I took out a bunch of my clothes for Alix to try on. That way, when we find something she likes, we’ll know where to shop.”

“Good idea,” Alix said, although she couldn’t imagine wearing any style this southern belle would.

True to her word, Tammie Lee had laid an assortment of clothes on the bed in the guest room. At first glance Alix’s heart fell. There seemed to be nothing but satin, lace and girly items.

“You sort through what’s on the bed and I’ll get us all some iced tea.”

“With mint,” Jacqueline added as she sat down.

“Of course,” Tammie Lee said as she rushed from the room.

“She adds mint to everything,” Jaqueline said in a disparaging whisper.

Alix glanced at her quickly—a hint of the old disapproval was back—but didn’t comment. Instead she checked out a full-length jean skirt. This was workable but only if she wore a T-shirt with it and a wide leather belt. She set it to one side and reached for a frothy, lacy dress, which she immediately rejected.

Tammie Lee stuck her head inside the door. “Would either of you prefer a Coke?”

“I would.” Alix wasn’t shy. She’d never been a real fan of iced tea.

“With or without peanuts?”

“With.” She hadn’t had breakfast and a snack sounded good.

“I’ll have the iced tea. Do you need any help?” Jacqueline asked.

“Oh, heavens, no.” Once again Tammie Lee disappeared, but it wasn’t long before she returned.

She brought in a tray and placed it on the dresser. Jacqueline stood up to get her glass of iced tea and Alix watched as she removed the mint leaf, using her thumb and index finger as if she were picking out a dead bug.

Tammie Lee served the Coke in an old-fashioned soda glass. She’d apparently forgotten the peanuts, which was fine. Not until Alix reached for her Coke did she notice the peanuts floating on top. She couldn’t very well object now and took a sip. The taste was interesting, a blend of salt and sweet. This was probably one of those southern traditions Jacqueline complained about so much.

“I like this,” Alix said and held up the jean skirt.

“I thought you would.”

“You can’t wear jeans to a fancy restaurant,” Jacqueline objected.

“It’s not the same as regular jeans,” Tammie Lee explained.

While they discussed what could be considered proper attire for a real restaurant, Alix drank her Coke, complete with floating peanuts.

An hour later, after she’d tried on several outfits, the three of them headed to the mall in two separate cars—Alix, still riding with Jacqueline. Inside one of the major department stores, Jacqueline sat and waited, while Tammie Lee carried outfit after outfit into the dressing room. Some of them Alix rejected out of hand, but a few showed real possibility. In the end, she chose a long black skirt and a white silk blouse with a swooping neckline and cuffs that buttoned at the wrist.

It was noon, and by then Alix was starved. She would’ve been happy with a hamburger, but Jacqueline suggested a sit-down place inside the mall. She insisted they try the delicate finger sandwiches with ultra-thin slices of cucumber. Alix ate her sandwich in two bites and had several more. She could’ve eaten out for a week on what Jacqueline paid for lunch. No wonder society women were so thin.

“I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m exhausted,” Jacqueline said. “I just might let you two carry on without me.”

“You go home and put your feet up,” Tammie Lee told her. “I’ll take over from here if that’s okay with Alix.”

“But I do want to see Alix when you’re all finished with her.”

“I’ll call you myself,” Tammie Lee promised.

Left to their own devices, Tammie Lee and Alix made fast work of the remainder of their purchases, which included shoes and a silver necklace—all at Jacqueline’s expense. Alix would never have guessed how much she’d like Jacqueline’s daughter-in-law. Tammie Lee was fun and sweet and the nicest person she’d met in her entire life. Frankly, she didn’t know what Jacqueline found so disagreeable about her.

They stopped for a Coke at a fast-food restaurant in the food court. Because she was still hungry, Alix ordered a cheeseburger and fries to go with it.

Tammie Lee took one look at her and burst into giggles. “Make that two of everything.”

“I’m not going back to the same hairdresser.” Alix wanted that understood in case Jacqueline had forgotten her previous reaction to Ms. Desiree.

“I don’t blame you,” Tammie Lee said in a whisper. “Jacqueline wanted me to make an appointment with Desiree. So I did, shortly after Paul and I were married.”

“Did you come out looking like one of the Brady Bunch?”

“No,” she said with a silly grin, “I looked more like Don King. Every time Paul saw me, he laughed. I thought I’d die of pure mortification.”

Their order was ready, and they found a table in the middle of the seating area.

“Tell me about you and Paul,” Alix said as she unwrapped her cheeseburger.

“Oh, Alix.” Tammie Lee gave a breathy sigh. “I don’t know where to start. I never thought I’d leave Louisiana, but it’s amazing what a woman will do for love.” Her expression was dreamy. “I discovered it didn’t matter where I lived, as long as I could be with Paul. The heart takes on a will of its own, if you know what I mean?”

Alix did understand. The fact that she was in this mall was proof of that.

“If you don’t object, I’ll do your hair for you,” Tammie Lee offered.

“You will?”

“I might not have all the training Desiree does, but I’m fairly good. All my friends let me do their hair for proms and such.”

“Sure, if you don’t mind.”

“It’ll be fun.”

When Tammie Lee drove back to the house, Paul had returned from the golf course. He sat in front of the television with an empty plate in his lap and a milk glass on the end table.

“Hi, Tam,” he said and smiled at Alix. He jumped up from his chair and took the packages from Tammie Lee’s hands, kissing his wife on the cheek. “How’d the shopping go?”

“Great. This is Alix, your mother’s friend and now mine.”

“Hello, Alix.” Paul gave her the once-over, as if he wasn’t sure she was for real. “You and my mother are friends?”

“Yeah, we met in the knitting class.”

“Oh, right.” He nodded. “I remember….”

“I’m going to do Alix’s hair. She’s got a hot date tonight.”

“Sure, go ahead.” His attention had already drifted back to the baseball game.

Tammie Lee was as good as her word. By the time she’d finished, Alix felt like a candidate for Homecoming Queen. Staring at her reflection in the bathroom mirror, Alix had to blink in order to believe the image was her own.

“What do you think?” Tammie Lee asked. “I … you made me pretty.”

Tammie Lee slowly shook her head. “You’re already lovely, Alix, but I have a feeling your Jordan knows that.”

Her heart did a little flip-flop at the way Tammie Lee said your Jordan, as if it was understood that the two of them were a couple.

Before long, Jacqueline arrived to give Alix her nod of approval. While Alix suspected she fell far short of the designer dress and fancy hairdo her friend would’ve preferred, she seemed to pass muster. Tammie Lee hadn’t used anything more than a curling iron and mousse, but she’d managed to arrange Alix’s plain straight hair in a natural wavy style that suited her better than anything she’d ever imagined.

After a moment, Jacqueline smiled.

“Do you think Jordan will like it?”

Jacqueline laughed delightedly. “My dear, he’s in for a real surprise.”

That evening while she waited for Jordan to pick her up at the apartment, Alix nervously paced the living room.

“Would you stop pacing,” Laurel snapped. She was parked in front of the television with a pint of cookie-dough ice cream, which she ate directly from the container.

The knock on the door nearly sent Alix into a panic. She closed her eyes and although she wasn’t a person who’d prayed a lot in recent years, she found a prayer on her lips now. More than anything, she wanted Jordan to see her as beautiful.

Holding her breath, she opened the door.

Jordan stood there holding a wrist corsage in a clear plastic box. His eyes widened as he stood staring at her.

“Say something,” she pleaded. “Anything.”

“Wow,” he breathed. “Wow, Alix, is that really you?”

“It’s me.” Holding back a smile would have been impossible. “You like it?”

“I like you,” he said and handed her the corsage.

This was the first time in her life anyone had given her flowers and nothing in the world could have pleased her more.