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CHAPTER THIRTEEN

It was four o’clock by the time Holly eventually got out of town and started heading home to Swords. Evil Sharon had convinced Holly to go shopping after all, which resulted in her splashing out on a ridiculous top she was far too old to wear. She really needed to watch her spending from now on. Her funds were running low and without regular income she could sense tense times ahead. She needed to start thinking about getting a job, but she was finding it hard enough to get out of bed in the morning as it was – another depressing nine-to-five job wasn’t going to help matters. But it would pay the bills. Holly sighed loudly. All these things she had to handle by herself. She spent too much time on her own thinking about them. She needed people around her, like today with Denise and Sharon, as they always took her mind off things.

She phoned her mum and checked if it was all right for her to call round.

‘Of course you can, love, you’re always welcome.’ Then Elizabeth lowered her voice to a whisper. ‘Just as long as you know that Richard is here.’ Christ! What was with all the little visits all of a sudden?

Holly contemplated heading straight home when she heard that, but convinced herself she was being silly. He was her brother and, as annoying as he was, she couldn’t go on avoiding him forever.

She arrived to an extremely loud and crowded house, and it felt like old times again, hearing screams and shouts in every room. Her mum was setting an extra place at the table just as Holly walked in.

‘Oh, Mum, you should have told me you were having dinner,’ Holly said, giving her a hug and a kiss.

‘Why, have you eaten already?’

‘No, actually I’m starving but I hope you didn’t go to too much trouble.’

‘No trouble at all, dear. It just means that poor Declan will have to go without food for the day, that’s all,’ she said, teasing her son, who was taking his seat. He made a face at her.

The atmosphere was so much more relaxed this time around – or maybe it had just been Holly who was uptight last time they met up.

‘So, Mr Hard Worker, why aren’t you in college today?’ she said sarcastically.

‘I’ve been in college all morning,’ Declan replied, making a face. ‘And I’m going back in at eight o’clock, actually.’

‘That’s very late,’ said his father, pouring gravy all over his plate. Frank always ended up with more gravy than food.

‘Yeah, but it was the only time I could get the editing suite.’

‘Is there only one editing suite, Declan?’ piped up Richard.

‘Yeah.’ Ever the conversationalist.

‘And how many students are there?’

‘It’s only a small class so there are twelve of us.’

‘Don’t they have the funds for any more?’

‘For what, students?’ Declan teased.

‘No, for another editing suite.’

‘No, it’s only a small college, Richard.’

‘I suppose the bigger universities would be better equipped for things like that. They’re better all round.’

And there was the dig they were all waiting for.

‘No, I wouldn’t say that. The facilities are top of the range, there’s just fewer people so less equipment. And the lecturers aren’t inferior to university lecturers. They’re a bonus because they work in the industry as well as lecturing. In other words, they practise what they preach. It’s not just textbook stuff.’

Good for you, Declan, Holly thought, and winked across the table at him.

‘I wouldn’t imagine they get paid well doing that, so they probably have no choice but to lecture too.’

‘Richard, working in film is a very good job; you’re talking about people who have spent years in college studying for degrees and masters …’

‘Oh, you get a degree for that, do you?’ Richard was amazed. ‘I thought it was just a little course you were doing.’

Declan stopped eating and looked at Holly in shock. Funny how Richard’s ignorance still amazed everyone.

‘Who do you think makes all those gardening programmes you watch, Richard?’ Holly interfered. ‘They’re not just a crowd of people who are doing a little course.’

The thought that there was a skill involved had never even crossed his mind. ‘Great little programmes they are,’ he agreed.

‘What’s your project on, Declan?’ Frank asked.

Declan finished chewing his food before he spoke. ‘Oh, it’s too messy to go into but basically it’s on club life in Dublin.’

‘Ooh, will we be in it?’ Ciara broke her unusual silence.

‘Yeah, I might just show the back of your head or something,’ he joked.

‘Well, I can’t wait to see it,’ Holly said encouragingly.

‘Thanks.’ Declan put his knife and fork down and started laughing, ‘Hey, what’s this I hear about you singing in a karaoke competition next week?’

‘What?’ Ciara yelled, her eyes nearly popping out of her head.

Holly pretended not to know what he was talking about.

‘Ah, come on, Holly!’ he persisted. ‘Danny told me!’ He turned to the rest of the table and explained, ‘Danny is the owner of the place where I did the gig the other night and he told me Holly has entered a karaoke competition in the club upstairs.’

Everyone oohed and aahed and talked about how great it was.

Holly refused to give in. ‘Declan, Daniel’s just playing games with you. Sure, everyone knows I can’t sing! Now, come on,’ she addressed the rest of the table. ‘Honestly, if I was singing in a karaoke competition I think I would tell you all.’ She laughed as if the thought was so ridiculous. In fact the thought was so ridiculous.

‘Holly,’ Declan chuckled, ‘I saw your name on the list. Don’t lie.’

Holly put her knife and fork down. She suddenly wasn’t hungry any more.

‘Holly, why didn’t you tell us you’re going to sing in a competition?’ her mother asked.

‘Because I can’t sing!’

‘Then why are you doing it?’ Ciara burst out laughing.

She may as well tell them, otherwise Declan would beat it out of her and she didn’t like lying to her parents.

‘OK, it’s a really complicated story, but basically Gerry entered my name in months ago because he really wanted me to do it and as much as I don’t want to do it, I feel I have to go through with it. It’s stupid, I know.’

Ciara stopped laughing abruptly.

Holly felt paranoid by her family staring at her, and she nervously tucked her hair behind her ears.

‘Well, I think that’s a wonderful idea,’ her dad suddenly announced.

‘Yes,’ added her mum, ‘and we’ll all be there to support you.’

‘No, Mum, you really don’t have to. It’s no big deal.’

‘There’s no way my sister is singing in a competition without me being there,’ declared Ciara.

‘Here, here,’ said Richard. ‘We’ll all go so. I’ve never been to a karaoke before. It should be …’ he searched his brain for the right word, ‘… fun.’

Holly groaned and closed her eyes, wishing she had gone straight home from town.

Declan was laughing hysterically, ‘Yes, Holly, it’ll be … hmmm …’ he said, scratching his chin, ‘… fun!’

‘When is it on?’ Richard said, taking out his diary.

‘Eh … Saturday,’ Holly lied, and Richard began writing it down.

‘It is not!’ Declan burst out. ‘It’s next Tuesday, you liar!’

‘Shit!’ cursed Richard, much to everyone’s surprise. ‘Has anyone got any Tippex?’

Holly could not stop going to the toilet. She was nervous and had had practically no sleep the night before. And she looked how she felt. There were huge bags around her bloodshot eyes and her lips were bitten.

The big day had arrived, her worst nightmare – singing in public.

Holly wasn’t even the kind of person who sang in the shower for fear of cracking all the mirrors. But man, was she spending time in the toilet today. There was no better laxative than fear, and Holly felt as if she had lost a stone in just one day. Her friends and family had been as supportive as ever, sending her good luck cards. Sharon and John had even sent her a bouquet of flowers, which she placed on the draught-free, heat-vent-free coffee table beside her half-dead orchid. Denise had ‘hilariously’ sent her a sympathy card.

Holly dressed in the outfit Gerry had told her to buy last month and cursed him throughout. There were far more important things to worry about right now than irrelevant little details like how she looked. She left her hair down so it covered her face as much as possible and piled on the waterproof mascara as though it was going to prevent her from crying. She could foresee the night ending in tears. She tended to have psychic powers when it came to facing the shittiest days of her life.

John and Sharon collected Holly in a taxi and she refused to talk to them, cursing everyone for forcing her to do this. She felt physically sick and she couldn’t sit still. Every time the taxi stopped at a red light she contemplated jumping out and running for dear life but by the time she would build up the courage the lights would go green again. Her hands fidgeted nervously and she kept opening and closing her bag, pretending to Sharon she was searching for something just to keep herself occupied.

‘Relax, Holly,’ Sharon said soothingly, ‘everything will be fine.’

‘Fuck off,’ she snapped.

They continued on in silence for the rest of the journey: even the taxi driver didn’t speak. After a tense journey they finally reached Hogan’s, and John and Sharon had a hell of a time trying to stop Holly ranting (something about preferring to jump in the Liffey) and persuading her to go inside. Much to Holly’s horror, the club was absolutely jammed and she had to squeeze by everyone to make her way to her family, who had saved a table (right beside the toilet as requested).

Richard was sitting awkwardly on a stool, looking out of place in a suit. ‘So tell me about these rules, Father. What will Holly have to do?’

Holly’s dad explained the ‘rules’ of karaoke to Richard and her nerves began to build even more.

‘Gosh, that’s terrific, isn’t it?’ Richard said, staring around the club in awe. Holly didn’t think he had ever been in a nightclub before.

The sight of the stage terrified Holly. It was much bigger than she had expected and there was a huge screen on the wall for the crowd to see the words of the songs. Jack was sitting with his arm draped around Abbey’s shoulders; they both gave her supportive smiles. Holly scowled at them and looked away.

‘Holly the funniest thing happened earlier on,’ Jack said laughing. ‘Remember that guy Daniel we met last week?’

Holly just stared at him, watching his lips moving but not giving a damn about what he said. ‘Well, me and Abbey got here first to keep the table and we were having a kiss and your man came over and whispered in my ear that you were gonna be here tonight. He thought we were going out and that I was doing the dirt!’ Jack and Abbey laughed hysterically.

‘Well, I think that’s disgusting,’ Holly said, and turned away.

‘No,’ Jack tried to explain, ‘he didn’t know that we were brother and sister. I had to explain …’ Jack trailed off as Sharon shot him a warning look and silenced him.

‘Hi, Holly,’ Daniel said, approaching her with a clipboard in his hand. ‘OK, here’s the order of tonight: first up is a girl called Margaret, then a guy called Keith and then you’re up after him. Is that OK?’