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5

Five days to go until Bridezilla’s big day.

At the Monday Meeting, where the castle employees got together to discuss the week and tasks ahead, there was a tension in the room that was palpable. This week’s list was particularly long!

‘Have you sorted that bloody unicorn yet, gents?’ Deana asked Malcolm and Derek.

‘Well, we’ve had a brilliant idea, haven’t we, Derek … we just need to test it out.’

‘That sounds ominous,’ Lord Henry quipped with a wry smile. He knew his tour guides only too well. They certainly seemed to get themselves into all sorts of capers.

Ellie really didn’t want to ask what they were up to, but she did need to know that whatever it was, was right, and wouldn’t spoil the start of the big day for the bride. ‘Well, try it out today, and let me know, as soon as. If it doesn’t work, then we’ll need to come up with an alternative, and fast.’

‘Time’s running out,’ added Deana, ‘So it’d better be good.’

‘Anyhow,’ Ellie took up. ‘The orders are all in for the wedding buffet. We’ve got oysters coming across fresh on the day from Lindisfarne, and prawns and dressed crab. The bread’s going to be delivered on the wedding morning from the local bakery. Irene’s helping me make the two hundred mini quiches to go with that, and I’ve got three whole salmons to cook, two gammon joints to boil, which are roughly the size of Usain Bolt’s thighs, as well as a pile of salads and coleslaws to prepare. Most of the catering can’t be done until last minute, so the teashop team are going to have a hectic end of week. We’ve got mini scones to bake for the cream tea for the mid-afternoon, and with the wedding cake being changed last minute to sponge, that will have to be made fresh just two days before, and then iced.’ Ellie felt tired just talking about it all. So much to do, so little time.

‘Wow, you’ll be busy. It all sounds well organized though, so that’s great.’ Joe tried to keep his tone fairly formal at the Monday meeting, addressing Ellie the same as the other staff, rather than as his wife. Ellie preferred it that way.

Joe took a sip from his coffee mug. It had a Batman motif on one side and ‘Kapow!’ the other. He had a bit of a Batman thing, loved all the films, old and new. And if you needed passwords to get into his laptop, a variety of Holy Smoke, Boom or Kapow might just do the trick.

‘Oh,’ Ellie continued, ‘and I’ve got five extra staff recruited for the day before and on the day, to help with food prep and the waiting on. As well as Alan and his team from The Swan who’ll be setting up the bar as per usual in the Drawing Room, and then later in the marquee, plus serving the champagne cocktails on arrival, and for the toasts.’

Wendy, the florist from their neighbouring market town of Kirkton, was at the meeting too. ‘The flowers are all ordered for the bridal and bridesmaid’s bouquets, the chapel, the Great Hall, for the balustrades at the castle entrance, and I have sourced the however-many-hundred white roses I’ll need for the latest petal-scattering demand. And there’s now a rainbow theme going on, after the bride’s sudden switch-about, so it’s been rather interesting changing the bouquets to multi-coloured flowers.’

There was a general eyebrow raise and groan around the room. They were all praying that Bridezilla didn’t have yet another change of plan in the final few days.

‘Let’s just hope a new copy of Hello doesn’t come out in the next couple of days, and give her a load of new ideas.’ Deana voiced their concerns.

‘Hah – well, the castle will be closed to visitors on the day of the wedding, so it’ll be an exclusive here.’ Derek commented drily, ‘Maybe, the Hello team will arrive here to cover the wedding of the decade.’ His tone was ironic.

‘Or more likely the Kirkton Gazette,’ Malcolm quipped.

‘You never know what might happen with Bridezilla, but some press coverage might be likely, actually.’ Joe’s mood was serious, ‘So, we need to make sure everything goes by the book and is absolutely tip-top.’

Lord Henry was obviously still mulling over the initial conversation. ‘A unicorn … I hope you two haven’t come up with a bloody pantomime horse.’

The pair of them looked slightly shady.

Oh, bloody hell, thought Ellie. ‘It’s not, is it, Malcolm?’

‘No, no, it’s a real live animal, that’s all I’m saying ‘til we test it out.’

‘Why does that fill me with a sense of dread?’ added Deana.

The others just laughed, except for Joe and Ellie who were feeling decidedly nervous about the whole event. This could really make or break things at the castle, and their relatively fledgling wedding event venture. They had been up and running for four years now as a wedding venue, but it took a good while to establish a sound reputation. It had been building nicely so far, and they’d had some lovely events and feedback, but a few mistakes, and a disgruntled wedding party, especially one as verbal as this lot, could really spoil all the hard work they’d put in to build themselves a positive profile.

‘Well, the last thing we need is bad-mouthing in the press, or the wedding party holding back on the final balance, so everything has to go smoothly and be spot-on, okay.’ Joe looked deadly serious, cutting the laughter short.

‘Of course, boss,’ replied Derek earnestly. Malcolm was nodding.

‘We’ll pull out all the stops and do our best, Joe,’ Deana added.

There was a real respect for Joe and Lord Henry amongst the staff. And, though they joked about sometimes, they did all take pride in their castle work. They were a good team. And they had become to feel like family to Ellie.

‘Right, well then, there’s still the day-to-day work to get on with; the teashop, the castle tours, the shop, and keeping our regular visitors happy. I need to get across to the farm, to see how that’s all going too, so thanks everyone. Just call my mobile if you need me, and if any further support or advice is required throughout this week, just shout.’ Joe stated. ‘Right, well if there’s no more questions or comments, then it looks like we’ve all got a busy week ahead. So let’s crack on with it, then.’

As the room emptied a small sigh escaped Ellie’s lips. Yes, she’d been doing this for five years now, and the tearooms were becoming second nature, but a big, demanding wedding was still rather daunting.

Irene had stayed in the teashop kitchens baking her daily scone selection, whilst the meeting was on. There was a delicious smell as Ellie and Doris walked back in; sweet, warm and doughy, and a tray of cherry and almond scones stood cooling on a rack.

‘Cup of tea, ladies?’ she asked.

Was that woman a mind reader? ‘Oh yes, that’s just what I need. Thanks, Irene.’ And I might just have to split one of those scones, with a generous dollop of butter. Anyone fancy sharing a half?’

‘Yes, please.’ Doris had no fear of expanding waistlines. No point baking all these lovely goodies if you’re too afraid to eat them, she’d often mutter.

Five minutes later, Ellie was sipping her tea whilst preparing the ingredients for a batch of salted caramel cookies – a new addition to her range. Ellie liked to shake things up every now and again, and they’d been going down a treat with the customers; all chewy toffee with a crunchy, crumbly edge.

Irene had already baked a tea loaf and a chocolate cake to go on the counter display. Ellie would do a couple of lemon drizzles next too. They were expecting a minibus trip from the old people’s home in Kirkton for morning coffee at 11 a.m., so it was going to be a fairly busy day.

The supplies delivery was due in shortly too; her fruit juices, fresh salad stuff, vegetables, sliced bread for toasties, milk and more. The teashop days just seemed to flow. There was always something to keep them active.

Ellie also wanted to make a couple of batches of vanilla cupcakes ready to ice. It was still summery out there, early September and the sun was shining today, so she’d decorate one half with a swirl of butter icing, a chocolate flake and some hundreds and thousands, so they looked like the top of a 99 ice-cream cone. For the rest she’d add some soft-pink colouring to the frosting and scatter the tops with pretty sugar icing flowers. She liked to make seasonal changes to the food on offer so her regulars didn’t get bored with the same old selection, and it kept it fun for her cooking too. She felt so much more experienced now, but she still loved her baking. And, seeing the customers’ faces light up as they tucked in to one of her creations, still gave her a buzz and made it all worthwhile. She hoped to goodness she’d see a look of delight on Bridezilla’s face at some point (hopefully several!) over the weekend.

But, there were so many things that might go wrong … Ellie felt a bit shaky. Normally, she was pretty calm about her up-and-coming wedding events. Over the past four years the castle had hosted over forty weddings, and she had grown into the role of wedding coordinator. She had really begun to enjoy it, trying her utmost to make the wedding couples and their families’ days as special and unique as they wanted. They’d hosted a medieval banquet where all the guests dressed up, and they’d hired in a huge hog roast, they’d had a funfair wedding with clowns, stalls and fair rides, they’d even had a Strictly Come Dancing themed event with plenty of sequins, scooping necklines, and a ballroom-inspired reception. Yes, sometimes there were minor hiccups, but nothing Ellie wasn’t able to overcome with the help of the castle staff and Joe.

But there had been so many twists and turns on the lead up to this particular wedding, not to mention the tears and tantrums already! Ellie was catering for over 200 people with a ‘buffet to die for’ – Bridezilla’s words. Often they contracted out the catering, especially on the bigger events such as this, as it was such a lot to take on, but this time the bride had insisted, so Ellie was doing all that as well as coordinating the wedding day throughout, making sure every last request was met, and, she was certain some new requests would appear on the day too.

They really needed the income from this event. They were being paid far more than any previous wedding they had ever booked, basically as they were providing far more, with all the demands that had kept rolling in. But, if it all paid out, then Ellie and Joe might finally draw some good wages, and have enough to do up their apartment rooms, and finally get the central heating system in there working properly. There was one room in particular that Ellie wanted repainted and decorated, fingers crossed that they might be needing it soon, to make it into a nursery. She could dream still, couldn’t she? And plan a little for now, at least.

Boy, she couldn’t wait for Sunday night to come around – when the whole event would be over, the bridal party and guests all away, and she could curl up on the sofa next to Joe, with a large glass of chilled white wine.

Right Ellie, cool, calm, and collected, she reminded herself of her mantra of old. She had the castle team on her side, and several years’ experience now. She could only do her best for the wedding weekend ahead, and that would hopefully be enough to pull them all through! Go girl!

After a flurry of lunch orders, Ellie popped in to see how Irene and Doris were getting on out front in the teashop. There were still several tables occupied. Ellie waved across at a lovely old couple, who came in most weeks to share a toasted teacake and a pot of tea. She walked over to them.

‘Hello, Jim, Mavis. Are you both keeping all right?’

‘Oh yes, pet. We’re doing grand, thank you. Mavis has finally shifted that cold she had, so we’re back out and about again.’

‘That’s good. I missed seeing you last week.’

‘Lovely cup of tea, pet.’ Mavis raised her china cup with a smile.

‘I’m glad you’re enjoying it.’

‘Our Sarah is coming home for the weekend, bringing the two grandchildren.’

‘Oh, that’ll be nice for you all. When did you last see them?’

‘Over a month now, back at the start of the school holidays. They live down in Lincolnshire, so it’s quite some drive.’

‘Oh well, it’ll be lovely to all catch up.’ That reminded Ellie, she’d have to go and visit her own family soon. The Bridezilla wedding and summer season in the teashop had taken over a bit. Time seemed to rush on, and weeks went by before you knew it. Her parents had popped up one Sunday a few weeks ago, but Ellie had been so busy in the teashop that she hadn’t had long to stop and chat with them. And they’d had to get back sharp, as Ellie’s dad had an early start on a big plumbing job for a housing company in Gateshead the next morning. But they did speak on the phone every few days, and yes, after the wedding of the century was over, then she’d arrange a couple of days off with Joe and go down to Newcastle and see them.

‘Well, we’d better not keep you, pet.’ Jim brought her back to the present.

‘Lovely to see you both. Have a super time with your family. Take care.’

Doris was bustling about refilling the sugar bowls, Irene taking through a new Victoria sponge, and topping up the cupcakes on display.

‘Everything been okay here, ladies?’

‘Fine, thank you,’ Irene answered happily.

‘No problems,’ Doris added from behind the counter, ‘other than a couple of screaming kids … Now we’ve just got rid of all the big ones back to school, we’re invaded with toddlers and babies.’ She gave a grimace.

Irene just raised her eyebrows at Doris’s moaning; there was always some complaint or other.

Ellie shook her head, used to it by now. ‘Well, I hope you were nice to them, Doris. They’re all our customers, small or large.’

With that Doris’s gaze shot pointedly across the room to a rather plump lady sat on her own in the corner, and gave a nod of her head. Ellie wished she hadn’t used that turn of phrase now.

‘Two slices of Victoria sponge and a cookie,’ the waitress mouthed, looking very like the comedian Les Dawson in his heyday.

Oh dear, Ellie tried her best to ignore her. ‘Right, well I need to nip out to the village shop and get some more milk to tide us over ‘til the morning’s order comes in. We seem to have had a run of milkshakes and lattes today. Anybody need anything?’

‘No, thanks.’

‘All fine.’

Ellie had her car keys in her pocket, so headed on out. ‘I’ll not be long.’

She went out of the side delivery entrance, got into her trusty old Corsa car, started it up, and turned out through an old stone archway onto the main driveway. She slowed, as she spotted something up ahead that seemed to be blocking the road. A few tourists had stopped to take a look at whatever it was, and were gathering on the grass verge. Ellie approached cautiously, then had to divert off the driveway, pulling over on to the verge. A white pony seemed to be the cause of all the bother, doing a bit of a jig, its ears back and its rider hanging on for dear life. And, oh dear God, there was Malcolm tugging the poor thing along by a lead rein, like it was some kind of bellpull, with Derek trying to keep up alongside.

Ellie got out of her car. ‘What on earth …?’

It was then she spotted the long pointed appendage, that looked like some kind of Blue Peter-style, papier-mache probe, which was strapped onto the poor creatures noseband, sending it cross-eyed and into a bit of a pony-strop. No wonder it was tossing its head about irritably.

The rider then leapt off the animal, probably just in time, as she was about to be bucked off by the looks of it. She snatched off her riding hat. Ellie recognized Lauren, one of the girls from the local village, who also helped as a waitress at the teashop.

‘There’s no way I’ll be riding that thing again,’ she shouted. ‘It’s bloody dangerous. It’s like Buckaroo up there. There’s no way you can put the bride on that thing. You’ll kill her.’

Oh dear God, this must be Malcolm and Derek’s masterplan for the unicorn. In hindsight, maybe they hadn’t been the best couple to put in charge of this particular task.

Malcolm was looking rather flustered, holding on to the pony’s rein for dear life, muttering, ‘Well, the bride insists she’s going to be riding the unicorn down the driveway.’

It wasn’t just poor Patrick the Pony – Ellie recognized him now from the farm down the road – who was unhappy. This was never going to work. Ellie shook her head in despair. She might have laughed along with the tourists who were watching it all with much amusement, had she not realized how much Bridezilla was likely to flip out if she didn’t get her unicorn grand entrance. There were only five days left to sort out this mess.