Что вы сделаете, если забился унитаз в комнате вашего общежития?

а) поспросите у соседей вантуз

б) купите вантуз

в) позовете сантехника

г) полезете разбираться сами и застрянете рукой в канализационной трубе.

А если на лекции рядом с вами опустится самый красивый парень университета? Ваши действия?

а) кокетливо улыбнетесь

б) скажете привет

в) кокетливо улыбнетесь и скажете привет

г) поведете головой в сторону, пытаясь понюхать подмышки, и чуть не упадёте со стула.

Если ваши ответы не совпали с моими, вы — нормальный человек! Если же совпали и все он г..., я вам сочувствую, но эта книга специально для вас!

Много студенческих будней, интересных жизненных ситуаций, много феминизма, много рассуждений и глупых шуток. Много мамы. Совсем без комплексов. И без секса.

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Перебрав несколько заставок на Фейсбуке, я всё-таки остановила свой выбор на любимом стормтрупере. «Почему ты не озеро?» – тут же пришло сообщение от папы, который недавно заявил, что мои картинки дурацкие, и прислал озеро Риц.

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Суть заключалась в следующем: 1. Если к тебе подошёл парень и начал говорить, выпяти губу, сожми кулаки и молча иди мимо. Пусть лучше подумает, что ты идиотка, чем решит, что легко доступна. 2. Если парень попросил у тебя телефон, дай… телефон папы. Мало не покажется. Зато больше не подойдёт.

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Сегодня я проспала. По-настоящему. Проснулась в семь пятьдесят четыре. Подскочила как угорелая, а далее словно в сказке. Сама не знаю, как мне это удалось без метлы, но на лекцию я влетела ровно в восемь. Разумеется, запыхавшаяся, потная и красная, как помидор.

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На мой шутливый вопрос: а как же я найду жениха, если ко мне никто подходить не будет, последовал лаконичный ответ: – Если парень хороший, и тебе понравился, сама подойди и дай телефон… папы. Тот всё уладит. Замечательно, Ватсон! Я навсегда останусь в девах.

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