Читать книгу: «The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and Instruction. Volume 13, No. 367, April 25, 1829», страница 7

Various

Шрифт:

OLD LOVE SONG

When the bright God of day
Drove to westward his way,
And the ev'ning was charming and clear,
When the swallows amain,
Nimbly skimm'd o'er the plain,
And the shadows like giants appear.

In a jessamin bower,
When the bean was in flower,
And the zephyrs breath'd odours around,
Lovely Coelia she sat,
With her song, and spinnet,
To charm all the grove with the sound.

Rosy bowers she sung,
While the harmony rung,
And the birds did all flutt'ring arrive,
The industrious bees
From the flowers and trees,
Gently humm'd with their sweets to the hive.

Now the gay god of love,
As he flew o'er the grove,
By zephyrs conducted along,
While she play'd on the strings,
He beat time with his wings,
And an echo repeated the song.

Oh ye mortals beware
How ye venture too near,
Love doubly is armed to wound;
From her eyes if you run,
You are surely undone
If she reach but your ears with the sound.

EPITAPH ON A LAWYER

The following inscription is taken from a tomb in St. Pancras churchyard, Middlesex. It is a flat stone, which some years since lay even with the ground, but was, about 1815, raised on a few tier of bricks, (to prevent obliteration by footsteps,) by order of the church-wardens, as I was informed by the grave-digger, and which, no doubt, was done on account of the singularity of the lines. The situation of the tomb is not far from the east corner of the church, a little beyond a lofty tomb with a monument. The inscription, from time, has been much defaced, and the verse is not easily made out by a stranger; but I have recollected it since about the year 1778, when it was very perfect. I saw the same in 1817, and took a copy as under:—

"This stone is inscribed to the memory of Mr. Thomas Abbott, of Swaffham, in the county of Norfolk, attorney-at-law, who died lamented by his friends, (enemies he had none,) after a painful and tedious illness, which he bore with patience, resignation, and fortitude becoming a man. Departed this life August the 16th, Anno Domini 1762, aged 48."

"Here lieth one, (believe it if you can,)
Who, though an attorney, was an honest man.
The gates of heaven for him shall open wide,
But will be shut against all the tribe beside."

T.R.

A celebrated gunaiphilist having asked a friend with whom he was walking, if the woman they had just met was not very passable, the other replied, "Undoubtedly she was, or I had never got by her, while you were with me at least."

HEBES.

A WEDDING

A tragic-comic meeting, compounded of favours, footmen, faintings, farewells, prayers, parsons, plumcakes, rings, refreshments, bottles, blubberings, God bless-ye's, and gallopings away in a post-chaise and four.

CHARADE

A natural production, neither animal, vegetable, nor mineral, neither male nor female, yet often produced between both; it exists from two to six feet high, is often spoken of in romances, and strongly recommended by precept, example, and Holy Writ.—A kiss.

Extempore written during the time some medical pupils were considering how they should remove the heart of a young woman deceased, whom the friends allowed them to open, on condition that they took no part away:—

St. Thomas's pupils, I cannot help grieving,
To think it should ever be said,
That we, who so oft steal girls' hearts whilst they're living,
Should steal them as well when they're dead.

We're admitted in confidence, and with reliance
The friends on our honour depend;
We have given the pledge, then disgrace not the science,
By stealing the heart from a friend.

E.C.

Sir Isaac Newton was, it is well known, extremely fond of employing his leisure hours in fishing. Being one day asked by a fellow-collegian how it happened that so vast a genius could stoop to a pursuit so trifling at the best, replied, "How is it possible that you should be surprised at my being a lover of the angle?"