Читать книгу: «How Not to Act Old: 185 Ways to Pass for Cool, Sound, Wicked, or at Least Not Totally Lame»
Copyright
HarperCollins Publishers Ltd.
1 London Bridge Street
London SE1 9GF
Published in 2010 by Collins
First published in the USA by HarperCollins,
195 Broadway, New York in 2009
Text © Pamela Redmond Satran 2009
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
Pamela Redmond Satran asserts her moral right to be identified as the author of this work
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this ebook on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins ebooks
HarperCollinsPublishers has made every reasonable effort to ensure that any picture content and written content in this ebook has been included or removed in accordance with the contractual and technological constraints in operation at the time of publication
Source ISBN: 9780007306138
Ebook Edition © APRIL 2017 ISBN: 9780007438204
Version: 2017-04-27
Dedication
For my father
Joe Redmond
for ever ageless
Contents
| Cover | |
| Title Page | |
| Copyright | |
| Dedication | |
| Introduction | |
| #1 | Stop Using E-mail |
| How Not to E-mail Old: 10 Musts to Avoid | |
| #2 | Don’t Say ‘Awesome’, ‘Dude’, or ‘Phat’ |
| Guide to 11 Young–Old Slang Expressions | |
| #3 | Unstrap that Rolex |
| #4 | Don’t Fear the Waxer |
| 40-year-old Bikini-Waxing Virgin? 9 Things to Expect | |
| #5 | Avoid Direct Confrontation |
| #6 | Don’t Leave a Message |
| #7 | Don’t Dance to ‘Sexual Healing’ |
| How to Grind, in 6 Easy Steps | |
| 8 Best Old-people Songs to Dance to … and 7 Young Ones that May Actually Get You Going | |
| #8–19 | How Not to Work Old |
| #20 | Beware the Accidental Hook-up |
| What Exactly Is a Hook-up? A Teenager Tells All … Well, Some | |
| #21 | Don’t Smoke Pot |
| #22 | Don’t Fear the F-word |
| #23–29 | How Not to Weekend Old |
| #30 | Don’t Get Too Excited about Mondays |
| #31 | Avoid Avoiding Babies |
| I Would Love to Hold the Baby, but … | |
| #32 | Don’t Be Proud of Being Befuddled by Technology |
| Web Directory 102: Sites You Should Know | |
| #33 | Don’t Advise People to Carry an Umbrella |
| 16 Things You Never Need to Say to Another Adult | |
| #34 | Don’t Admit You’re Crazy about Springsteen |
| #35 | Don’t Be the Monica |
| #36–44 | How Not to Be a Cougar |
| #45 | Stop Talking about Menopause |
| #46 | No Lame Parenting Advice |
| 19 Things Never to Say to a Young Parent | |
| #47 | Don’t Fear the Tat |
| 8 Tattoos for Old People | |
| #48 | Don’t Make Love |
| #49 | Do Not Block the Aisle |
| #50 | Throw off the Middle-aged Burka |
| 12 Things You Can’t Even Think about Wearing (for Women) | |
| #51 | No Poodles |
| Pet Making You Look Old? 5 Swaps to Consider Now | |
| #52 | Don’t Yell into Your Mobile Phone |
| 8 Ways Not to Phone Old | |
| #53 | Don’t Talk about Your (Grown-up) Children |
| 5 Things to Talk about Instead of Your Kids | |
| #54 | Don’t Fear Rap |
| Easy Listenin’ Rap: 9 Songs Even You Might Like | |
| #55 | Don’t Drink Cosmopolitans |
| 3 Young Cocktail Recipes | |
| #56 | Learn to Type with Your Thumbs |
| #57 | Cancel the Trip to Provence |
| #58 | Edit the Anecdotes |
| #59 | Don’t Fear the Thong |
| #60 | Don’t Lust after Paul McCartney |
| 8 Hot vs. Crusty Comparisons | |
| #61 | No Chronic Health Discussions |
| #62 | Screw the Housework |
| MadLibs: A Young Person’s Guide to Housekeeping | |
| #63 | Break that Saturday Night Sex Routine |
| #64 | Stop Surfing the Net |
| 25 Web Expressions You Should Know Now | |
| #65 | Have No Problem |
| #66 | Sponge off Your Parents |
| #67–73 | How Not to Party Old |
| #74 | Don’t Be Shocked by a Touch of Girl-on-girl |
| 10 Other Things Not to Be Shocked By | |
| #75 | No to the Negativity |
| Anti-negativity Spin Chart: 6 Upbeat Substitutes | |
| #76 | Enough with the Man-bashing |
| 5 Deathless Man-bashing Jokes | |
| #77 | Don’t Fear the Silence |
| #78 | Don’t Live Somewhere Old |
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