Читать книгу: «Kate Vernon, Vol. 2 (of 3)», страница 5

"I should indeed have been greatly distressed had you done so," said Kate. "You know, dearest and best, I am only known to him in my new character; and is it not unreasonable to be displeased with him, because he endeavours, according to his judgment, which I believe to be the true one, to forward my views!"

"Instinct might have told him, yours was a peculiar case! to tell you to call on a German music-master!"

"Pooh, grandpapa, as Mr. Winter would say, if you and I were staying at the 'Clarendon,' en route to Paris, you would be the first to encourage me in paying a visit to my old master, why – "

"It is a totally different thing, this old German – "

"True, and it may be prejudice; but, under the circumstances, I would prefer visiting a German to an English music-master. My own, dear grandpapa, we must be content to lose the shadow, if we can secure the substance; and now I must proceed to finish my letter."

Hastily finishing her long, crossed epistle to the Winters, she proceeded to pen a billet to Hermann, recalling herself to his recollection, and expressing a strong desire for an interview with him; this was placed selon les règles in an envelop, when a grand difficulty presented itself – the address – "He used to live in Baker Street, but I forget the number." She rung.

"Would Mrs. Crooks be so good as to let me see a directory?"

"Please 'em, she's not got one."

"How provoking! and it is just post hour!"

"Send that note on chance," suggested the Colonel; "and we can get the right address from Langley, if it fails."

"Good," she replied; and sent both her epistles at once to the post.

The day, notwithstanding the promise of the morning, proved wet; but Langley's long visit, and her long letter, made it pass quickly to Kate. She now put away her writing materials, singing snatches of her favourite songs, to her grandfather's surprise, and looking bright as an embodied gleam of sunshine; the idea of speedy action was cheering beyond measure, to her energetic, earnest spirit; and though it may lower her in the estimation of sentimentalists and evangelicals, she was too young and too light-hearted, not to feel considerable pleasure, at the idea of a soirée at Langley's sister's.

"Are ye ready for yer dinner, Miss Kate? an' would the masther mind the girl layin' the cloth?" enquired Mrs. O'Toole, putting in her head.

"Certainly not," replied the Colonel.

"I have not seen you all day, nurse," said Kate, "what have you been doing."

"I wint out to get some chops for yer dinners, an' the thief iv a butcher asks me nine-pince a pound for thim. 'Is it jokin' ye are,' ses I, 'mum,' ses he, as if he was bothered. 'Is it plum cake ye do be feedin' yer sheep on,' ses I, 'to go be afther askin' nine-pince a pound for thim chops,' ses I, wid that he ups and he ses, his mate was the best an' the chapest in the place, an' I'd get nothin' ondher it; an' sure enough I wint to ivery butcher widin' two miles, an' sorra one iv thim ud give the chops for less, an' some asked more; there's London for ye! But it ud break yer heart to see the woman sthrivin' to brile thim on the hanful iv coals in wan corner iv the grate, I wish ye'd spake to her to let me cook for yes, but – " Nurse suddenly paused, and held up her hand to enforce silence, as an approaching jingle announced the coming dinner apparatus.

"Have you dined yourself, dear nurse?" asked Kate.

"Sure I tuck a cup iv tay, an' an egg, sorra sich an egg iver I seen! Ye know it's a fast day, Miss Kate."

Their dinner was soon despatched; the half cold, half raw chops, so different from their simple yet tempting fare at home, offering little to induce its prolongation. After its removal, Kate looked wistfully from the window.

"It does not rain now, grandpapa, would you not like a stroll into Kensington Gardens? I should like so much too, to find out some library, for how shall we get over this evening without music, or work, or books, or chess. Oh, I forgot, nurse has unpacked the chess-board."

"I am not inclined for walking, or chess, either, my love; indeed I am singularly knocked up; I should like a book, however."

"But I am sure a little walk would do you good, dear grandpapa."

"No, my dear, I will take a sleep, and, if you like to go out, nurse can go with you, it will be a pleasure to her too."

After settling the Colonel to the best of her ability in the impracticable arm-chair; Kate summoned Mrs. O'Toole, who most readily obeyed her call, heartily tired of the society of Mrs. Crooks, for, as she said emphatically, "there's no divarshin in thim English!"

After enquiring their way to the nearest circulating library, Kate and Mrs. O'Toole set out on their exploring expedition. The rain had ceased, and a rich, yellow, evening sun shone out in full lustre.

"How new everything looks here, nurse," said Kate, when they had walked a few minutes in silence, "how different from dear old A – ."

"In troth it does, Miss Kate; but thim gardens, as they call thim, is mighty fine, an' did ye iver see sich dawshy little houses, wid balconies afore?"

"Never, indeed, they give me the idea of handsomely ornamented mansions, seen through an inverted telescope, for there is a little of everything about them."

"Athen wan, good, ould, red stone house, like what was in A – , is worth a score iv thim."

The extreme newness of everything, notwithstanding its prettiness and neatness, was displeasing to Kate's eye, accustomed, as it had been, to the mellow tints and picturesque irregularity of A – .

It is remarkable how much more congenial, both to heart and mind, are indefinite and irregular outlines; as if the more perfect finish, was all too cramped, too finite to satisfy the boundless and formless imaginations of man's heart; as Tupper beautifully says,

 
"Thinkest thou the thousand eyes that shine with rapture on a ruin,
Would have looked with half their wonder on a perfect pile?
And wherefore not – but that light tints, suggesting unseen beauties,
Fill the complacent gazer with self grown conceits?"
 

The library was, without much difficulty, found, and the demure damsel, who there represented the muses, in reply to Kate's enquiries, handed her a catalogue, in which she soon lost herself, as one usually does in the vain attempt to discover favorite authors, widely separated by an inexorable alphabetical arrangement.

"Have you nothing by the authoress of 'The Cup and the Lip?'" asked Kate.

"Yes, ma'am, but it's out; this work is a good deal called for," presenting a volume open at the title page.

Kate glanced at it, 'Zarifa, a Tale of the Passions.'

"No, thank you," said Miss Vernon.

"Just got this in, ma'am; 'Trials and Trifles, by one who has experienced both.'"

"Let me look at it, if you please. Ah, this is rather too sentimental. Have you the 'Knight of Gwynne'?"

"Yes'm."

"Then I will take it; and pray send the 'Times' every morning, to No. – Victoria Gardens, for Colonel Vernon, if you please."

A rather stout gentleman, with longish fair hair, and an umbrella under his arm, who had entered the shop a few minutes before, and stood with two letters in his hand, waiting until the shopwoman was at leisure to attend to him, and in a position that commanded an excellent view of Kate's profile; started at these words.

"Vernon,!" said he, in good English, but with a foreign accent. "Do I speak to my gentle pupil? Ah, you remember."

"Mr. Herman!" she exclaimed, after a moment's hesitation, "how fortunate! how happy I am to have met you; I have just written to you."

"It is most curious," resumed her ci-devant master, shaking her hand warmly and respectfully, "I do not think I ever entered a shop in this neighbourhood before, but I have just come from Madame M – 's establishment, where I, for my sins, give lessons once a-week; and you, have you been long in town? How is the Graffin, your cousin? I suppose with you?"

"No, she is at Florence, I am with grandpapa, close to this. We only arrived in London, yesterday, and I have already written a note to you, though I had forgotten your precise address."

"Oh, the old place, Baker Street, No. 33. And you want lessons again? Well, you did me great credit, and though I have not one moment in the day disengaged, except to snatch a hasty meal, I'll break through my regulations, and give you the evening hour."

"Thank you very much," said Kate, interrupting, with difficulty, the flow of his eloquence, "but I do not want to take lessons; I wrote to ask you to appoint a day and hour, when I might call on you – any hour will suit me – then I will tell you the object of my visit."

"Call upon me!" repeated Hermann, with surprise, "well, well, I am afraid I must not offer to save you that trouble, for I am in such request just at present. Ah, if you would not mind calling so early as twelve o'clock, I generally snatch a hasty lunch, at that hour. If I am not at home when you come, my daughter will endeavour to entertain you until my return, and now I must run away."

"But what day, Mr. Herman?" cried Kate, anxiously.

"Oh, the day after to-morrow, I shall have a little more time; infinitely pleased to have met you, dear lady, and to perceive you have the same appearance of good health as – . Hey! ho!" shouted the good natured musico, rushing breathlessly after an omnibus, into which an active conductor, rapidly crammed him, and he was swept off.

This little adventure quite excited Kate, and although capable of exerting great self-command, her temperament was too finely organised, not to be both nervous and sensitive; so the arm she passed through nurse's was not the steadiest, as they turned to leave the shop.

"Och, what makes ye thrimble so, agra?"

"Do I tremble, nurse? I suppose it must be the surprise of meeting Mr. Herman; how fortunate? I accept it as a good omen!"

"Faith, he's mighty like a pear – so big at one end, an' small at the other. Sure he's like the side iv a house round the shoulders, an' his two little feet u'd stand in a tay cup, an' what wide throwsers he has!"

"Do you not remember him when we were at Lady Desmond's three years ago?"

"Och now, was that the Garman that used to be tachin ye the piania?"

Kate nodded.

"Och then, my gracious, but he's grawn very fat."

Miss Vernon was too much engrossed by her own reflections on the probable result of this rencontre, to encourage nurse's garrulity, till the beauty of the magnificent old trees in Kensington, drew her from her thoughts, and she pointed her companion's attention to the long alleys, with their graceful leafy arches, that stretch along each side of the broad walk from the Bayswater entrance.

And deeply did Mrs. O'Toole enjoy the confidential chat in which her idolized nurseling indulged her, especially the perspective of an evening party.

"Sure it's taydious to be always alone with an ould gintleman like the master. God bless him any how, though faith it's himself is the height of good company."

"I never tire of him, nurse."

"No, in coorse not; but, Miss Kate, jewel, ye'll be lavin him some day, with some grand lord, ye'll see at thim parties."

"I do not fancy lords are so very plentiful at the Bayswater soirées," replied Kate, laughing at nurse's simplicity.

"A then, ye'll never see wan that's grander or pleasanter, nor the Captin; I niver tuck to any one as I tuck to him; to see the illigant bould step iv him, an the bright face iv him, an' he as tindher hearted as an infant. Och sure, Miss Kate, there's some fairy gift about a rale gentleman! Jist hear wan say, 'how are ye,' an ye feel the better iv it, as if he was in airnest, an plaised to see ye. But wan iv thim squireens! faith it's like rubbin the coat iv a cat the wrong way, to hear wan iv thim sthrivin to spake civil!"

"Very true nurse, there is some mysterious charm about good manner, but it must spring from the heart, and I believe when all are true christians, all will be real gentlemen."

"Athin, is it sarious ye are, Miss Kate?"

After a little more conversation, they returned to the Colonel, whom they found awake, but still reclining with an air of lassitude, in the arm chair. Kate at once, and with much animation, commenced an account of her meeting with Herman, but the indifference with which her grandfather received the intelligence, so important in her estimation, checked her ardour, and seemed to throw her back on herself; it is indeed wonderful the effect which sympathy or no sympathy produces.

The Colonel's coldness did not alter the fact of the lucky rencontre, or of Herman's kindness of manner, and yet it seemed to dissolve her air castles, about numerous pupils, friendly associates, and a happy busy life of useful occupation, not unmingled with amusement, into a chilling mist, as night winds condense the vapours, which have been spread by the sun's heat.

"Well let us have tea my dear, what book did you get?"

"'The Knight of Gwynne,' grandpapa."

"Ah, I suppose that is meant for my old friend, Maurice Fitzgerald, it will remind me forcibly of days I had better forget."

"I hope it will amuse you," said poor Kate, the tears springing to her eyes, at such unwonted depression and contrariety, on her grandfather's part.

Tea over; and the remaining day-light of a summer's evening – which, in town, has anything but a cheering effect – shut out, Miss Vernon lit the candles, and, after a diligent search, unearthed a small and rather delapidated footstool, from beneath the sofa, which she placed under the Colonel's feet, endeavouring, with unwearied sweetness, to cheer him, and draw him from himself, and his position, till, at length, he gave the wished-for command —

"Read some of that book for me, my dear."

"Yes, dearest grandpapa; and as poor nurse is all alone, among strangers, may I ask her to bring in her work, and listen too?"

"Certainly – certainly."

This was quickly done; and Kate's object, to provide amusement for the Colonel, fulfilled, as nurse's shrewd remarks on whatever subject was brought before her, were sure to interest and amuse her indulgent master.

He leaned back his head, and closed his eyes, as if but half inclined to listen; soon, however, the varied modulations of Kate's musical, intellectual voice, and the sound of familiar names, fixed his attention, and transported him, in imagination, to other scenes and other times; and, at length, fully drawn from the contemplation of the present, it was with something of his old brightness of eyes, and lightness of step, that the Colonel retired for the night.

"Well, Nelly, those were pleasant times, and right good fellows. I think Lever has hit off some of them capitally; yet I could give him a few hints, hey? Kate, good night, my love – I will take a walk with you to-morrow."

And Kate laid her head on her pillow, blessing Lever for having effected by his light-hearted, familiar style, what no writer, however profound, or grand, pathetic, or even religious, would in all probability have accomplished.

CHAPTER V.
THE NEW WORLD CONTINUED

The morning of Miss Vernon's visit to her ci-devant music-master rose bright and clear; and smiling at her own care, it was with rather more than usual attention to her appearance, she arranged her simple toilette; for, thought she, "I am to meet his daughter – and women judge so much more critically of dress than men."

The Colonel's announcement of his intention to accompany her, called forth all her tact to avoid the escort. She remembered keenly, the effect produced on him, by Mr. Langley's plain, unvarnished communications; and, as he had now apparently forgotten them, and returned to his usual happy, easy frame of mind, she dreaded the renewal of those unpleasant sensations, which had so disturbed him, by the discussion of the important questions of pounds, shillings, and pence, which she was nerving herself to approach boldly; besides, she did not feel quite certain, how Herman would take the intelligence she had to communicate. Then she dreaded that the kind old man might fancy himself de trop.

"I am afraid, dear grandpapa, we must start so early, you will not have time to read the paper comfortably."

"It cannot take more than half-an-hour to drive from this to Baker Street?"

"I intended walking. Cabs are so expensive."

"Why, Kate, my love, you are grown quite miserly."

Finally, she managed to insinuate a strong necessity that he should return Mr. Langley's call, and fix a day for her to visit his studio, and carried her point, that she and Mrs. O'Toole should walk to Baker Street, by the Park, while the Colonel was pacified, by the paper, and the projected visit to Langley.

"Good bye, my own, dear grandpapa – am I looking nice?"

"Yes, darling, like a rose-bud, as you are."

And he gazed proudly at her, over his glasses, as she stood before him in her simple, elegant, muslin dress, straw bonnet, with plain white ribbon, and large, soft barège shawl.

"There isn't the like iv her in Buckingham Palace!" said Mrs. O'Toole, with a confidential nod, as she followed her out of the room.

"Keep to the Parks, till you come to the Marble Arch, then down Oxford Street – any one will show you the way to Portman Square, and – "

"Oh, thank you, Mrs. Crooks, once I am in Portman Square, I shall know my way."

Kate was not quite so agreeable a companion as usual during this walk, as she felt considerable nervousness about the approaching interview.

Nurse, too, greatly disliking the errand on which they were bound, spoke little, except an occasional ejaculation of pious discontent, or a growl at the various conductors, who kindly invited them to ride in their omnibusses.

Their walk was, therefore, silent and fatiguing; but Baker Street was gained at last.

"Not at home, 'm," said a smart girl, with a cap at the back of her head, in reply to Miss Vernon's enquiries.

"And Miss Herman?"

"Oh, Miss Herman is at home, 'm – please walk this way."

"Nurse, will you wait for me."

And Kate followed the servant up a handsomely carpeted stair-case.

Miss Herman was working something in a frame; she was more English-looking than her father, with a profusion of fair hair, and in a very handsome morning costume.

"I have expected to see Miss Vernon," she said, rising to receive her visitor, with much graciousness, and rather too much ease. "My father told me, he expected a visit from one of his former pupils."

"I was so fortunate as to meet him accidentally, the day before yesterday, and was delighted to renew my acquaintance with him."

"I have often heard my father speak of you, and of your great taste for music; you were quite one of his pet pupils. I expect him in immediately."

And the two young ladies were soon excellent friends, the more so, as Kate's new acquaintance was quite able to make up for any silence or pre-occupation, on her part, caused by the nervous anxiety with which we watch for an important interview.

Miss Herman was evidently rather curious as to the object of Kate's visit to her father; and Kate saw no reason why she should not gratify her curiosity; for, pre-occupied as she was, any other topic was irksome; and though not exactly of the stamp she had been accustomed to, it was so long since she had enjoyed a conversation with a lady, at all near her own age, that she found it a pleasant variety. Yet it was with a sensation of relief, that poor Kate hailed her exclamation —

"There is my father's knock."

In another moment, he bustled into the room.

"Rather late, dear lady; but much pleased to see you."

"Luncheon directly, Gertrude."

Then seating himself by Kate, as his daughter left the room —

"Now let me hear in what I can serve you, my dear Miss Vernon, for I got your note all safe."

Kate hesitated a moment, and then, her color rising, yet with a certain playfulness, and without any preface, said —

"You thought I wanted to take lessons from you, my dear sir – no; I want pupils myself."

Herman uttered a slight groan.

"I was apprehensive of something of the kind, when I read your note; yet I turned from the idea, as quite preposterous; and your noble relative!"

"She knows nothing of my intention. But my dear Mr. Herman," continued Kate, with a firmness and decision, that surprised even herself, "let us not waste time in deploring what is inevitable; believe me, there is a strong necessity for the step I am about to take, which does not, considered in the abstract, offer any great attractions; the question is, can you, and will you, kindly put me in the way of carrying out my views; to say that I have been your pupil, would, I am sure be greatly in my favour; but I want more than that; to introduce me, in my new career."

"Dear lady: I happen, it is true, to be rather the fashion as a musical teacher, just at present; and I should be most happy to serve you; but, though I gave you lessons for three or four months, I cannot say I trained you; and I have some pupils, brought up to music as their profession, whom I must consider first; besides though you had great talent, as an amateur, it is a different thing for a teacher, ah – have you kept up your music?"

"Yes, most diligently," replied Kate, who felt her cheeks hot, and her hands cold, during this speech of Herman's.

"Well then," rising, and opening a grand piano, "let me hear you play, and I will tell you exactly what I think; now you must hear the truth."

"It is all ask."

Miss Vernon, threw aside her bonnet and shawl, and seated herself at the piano; but her memory seemed suddenly clouded, by the very necessity for clearness, nay, her physical vision, by the intense anxiety to acquit herself well, and while the room swam before her, the only distinct image she could perceive, was Hermann, standing opposite, with a look of severe criticism on his countenance; but this moment of suffering did not last – Kate was making rapid strides in the acquirement of that self-command, without which, the empire of the world is but a wider range for the sceptred slave. "I must be calm – I will not be false to myself," she thought, and pressing her hands to her eyes for an instant, she conjured up the organist's pale, benevolent face, as it used to look, when he listened to her playing, and thus placed her spirit once more within the calm influence of her old cloistered home; then with a true and steady finger, began a fantasia, composed by Hermann himself. He started at the first notes – and listened with wrapt attention, quite as much the effect of her performance, as his own will. His daughter entered – he held up a warning finger, to enjoin silence – she came to listen; but whether there was one listener or a thousand, was now a matter of indifference to Kate, who absorbed in the music, and revelling in the tones of a magnificent instrument, after nearly a week's fast, poured forth the really beautiful composition, with a fervour of feeling, and a perfection of execution, that quite astonished her hearers; and when at length, after some beautiful and difficult runs, the piece ended with sustained chords, the German burst into exclamations of delight, in his native tongue – echoed by his daughter; while Kate, agitated by her success, stood quite still – silent from her utter inability to articulate.

"But it is wonderful how well you have remembered my instructions, I shall certainly mention you everywhere, as my pupil – my advanced pupil. And now we will have our luncheon – let me offer you my arm. Do you sing?"

"Yes."

"Ah, then, we will first have a song."

"No, no, Mr. Herman, I was foolishly nervous about playing, and now I feel hardly able to speak much less to sing."

"Well then, you must come and have a glass of wine to restore you."

During the progress of the luncheon, Kate learned many particulars, as to the usual rates of remuneration, &c.; and was surprised to find it so low.

"As a beginner you can hardly hope to get much," said Hermann, who was devouring veal pie and pickled cabbage, with great appetite; "but I hope to be of use to you here too; I will try to get you the best terms I can, and you will agree to whatever I arrange?"

"Of course; you are most kind, my dear sir; but how soon do you think you will be able to get me some pupils?"

"We shall see – we shall see – you must not be in a hurry; and Gertrude, give me that portfolio. Here," said he, "here is a simple air, harmonise it in four parts, at your leisure, and enclose it to me, that will show me what you know of theory; if you would consent to play and sing at private concerts, you might make a very good thing of it; and with your figure and face, I – "

"Hush, hush," cried Kate, with an involuntary action, and holding up her hand, as if to repel by physical force, the idea suggested by Herman, "it is useless to mention such a plan."

"Well well, as you like – but it is the pleasantest and most lucrative line by far; and now, dear lady, I must run away – I am beyond my time, and the old Duchess of L – is as sharp as a needle about a minute more or less of the lesson. God bless you – write your address in my book, I might lose your note – you are a pupil I may well be proud of. Good bye," and he bustled off.

After a few more civil words with Miss Herman; and writing her name and address in the book, Herman kept for the purpose, Kate took her leave.

"I hope to have the pleasure of calling on you," said Miss Herman.

"I shall be most happy to see you, and to introduce you to grandpapa."

"If I do not call soon, pray excuse me, as I have many engagements. Are there any omnibusses pass near your house?"

"Oh, yes, several. I think I had better take one going back – they are not very disagreeable – are they?"

"Why, have you never been in an omnibus?" said Miss Herman, with some surprise.

"Never as yet."

And (nurse having appeared from the lower regions,) Kate shook hands once more with her lively, good-humoured, new acquaintance, and departed in high spirits at the result of her visit.

"I am very tired, nurse, and I am sure so are you."

"Is it tired, Miss Kate? not a bit iv it; sure was'nt I aitin the best iv cauld beef, an' dhrinkin' the best iv ale, down in the house-keeper's parlour, they seem mighty nice kind of people, an' there was wan of thim with the quarest cap."

"There, dear nurse, call that omnibus."

"Och, sure, Miss Kate, ye would'nt be afther goin' into wan iv the like iv thim; its nothin's but the counter-jumpers goes in thim."

"No matter, the sooner I get used to them the better," said Miss Vernon, resolute not to do things by halves but to descend freely, and, therefore, gracefully. "So do not let another pass, nurse, for indeed I am very tired."

"Oh, blessed Bridget! Oh, marciful Moses, look at this! did iver I think to – Stop, will ye, have ye no eyes in yer head, ye thief? ye wor niver tired bawlin' to us to go wid yez whin we did'nt want ye."

"Bayswater, mum – yes, mum," and Kate and Mrs. O'Toole were crammed into a vehicle, apparently full to overflowing; at least so Kate thought, though the conductor assured them he had not got his number. The occupants, as usual, would not at first open their ranks, and it was not until after some moments of uneasy balancing and staggering, that our two novices in omnibus travelling, were accommodated with seats, as far as possible from the door of the carriage. Nurse, who was of tolerable dimensions, reducing two angular old maiden ladies to scarcely visible lines; while poor Kate, with a feeling of deep repugnance, was squeezed between a fat, elderly man and the upper end of the conveyance; the road appeared interminable, and, owing to their unacquaintance with it, and their inexperience of omnibus travel, they were carried far beyond their destination.

Never had the sight of her grandfather's face been so welcome to Kate, as when she saw him looking from the window on their return; after the various small, but not the less trying, trials of the day; and joyous was the tone, in which she exclaimed – "victoria, dearest grandpapa," as she threw off her bonnet and shawl.

"Come and tell me all about it, dearest," said he, holding out his hand to her.

She seated herself beside him, and detailed her interview with Herman, brightening the brighter parts, and subduing the darker, with exquisite pious tact; and then, turning from the subject of her own plans, which always fretted the old gentleman, enquired what his movements had been, and if there was a letter from the Winters?

"No, none," said the Colonel.

"Well, I will go and get ready for dinner, and afterwards we will have a short stroll in the gardens. Perhaps this evening's post may bring us a letter from our friends. Nurse is a capital chaperone, and I am glad you did not go, dear grandpapa, it would have been quite too much for you."

After this nothing could surpass the unbroken but rather gloomy quiet, in which Kate's days slipped by; her piano having arrived, was a great source of enjoyment to her, and lent wings to many a heavy hour.

Winter, though kind, was like most men, a tardy correspondent, and Kate was ashamed of writing as often as her heart dictated. Lady Desmond, too, engrossed by some new pleasure or occupation, wrote, though affectionately, but seldom; and at times the sad feeling, that to the friends who are afar, we are as nothing, scarcely missed, and merely remembered, through the importunate efforts of our own pen, would steal over Kate's mind in spite of every effort of reason and common sense; for hers was a nature too noble, too unexacting, to doubt the kindness or the truth of those who professed either. Yet it is hard, very hard, not to become restless and complaining, when, day after day, the letter carrier hurries past, or worse still, his startling, though hoped for, knock, thrills every pulse, and there is nothing for you. Oh, you who are still left in peace and security, amongst all that has been endeared to you in childhood and in youth; amongst kindred and familiar faces; and scenes of beauty associated with happiness, and disregarded in the full certainty of possession; think well before you charge the absent with querulous avidity for letters; you cannot know, you cannot dream the intense longing with which we turn from the looks and tones, the places and the people around us, and conjure up old scenes and voices, long unheard; and then ask again, and again, with a mournful tenderness, unspeakable in its depth, "Shall I never see them more?" while a gloomy echo from our own unspoken presage answers, "they are gone – they are all passed by;" ay, passed indeed, for what is gone is eternally passed by. "Speak to them that they go forward," is the message of God to mankind, as to the Israelites of old; forward we must go, on – on, in sin or in righteousness; there is no pause, and what is left is left for ever!