“Ultimately this is about what’s best for our son.”
To hear Nathan refer to Max as “our son” made Ana’s heart twist. For a long time he had been just “her son”. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to give that up, to share him. But this wasn’t about what she wanted. The only thing that mattered was what was best for Max.
“I guess a trial period would make sense,” she told him. “Supervised visits of course.”
“Of course,” he agreed.
It meant having to spend time with Nathan, which she was sure would be heart-wrenching for her. Just having him in her home, remembering all the times they had spent there together, made her feel hollowed out inside. Alone. Since they split, she hadn’t so much as looked at another man.
If a year and a half apart hadn’t dissolved her feelings for Nathan, maybe she was destined to love him forever.
Dear Reader,
I must confess, I have a really hard time writing these letters. I can’t help feeling a bit like a broken record. I find myself, over and over, going on about my characters, and how special they are. How unique and inspiring. But this time I thought I would try something different. I thought it might be fun to tell you about the character writing the characters.
Me.
So here goes. I’m a little shy when I’m in a group of people I don’t know. I cannot function without my morning coffee—at least two cups. I hate to blog because I never know what to say. I am married to, hands down, the best husband ever. My children are the most talented and most brilliant in human history and ditto for my grandchildren. I used to love to sew and craft, but now I only have time to crochet. I am also an avid gardener when I can find the time. I am the youngest of three, and when my two older brothers weren’t torturing me, they spoiled me rotten. I love animals, spring and poker night. I can not play an instrument, or sing my way out of a paper bag, and my family always, always comes first.
So there you have it. Now, forget about me, and enjoy the book!
Best,
Michelle
Bestselling author MICHELLE CELMER lives in southeastern Michigan with her husband, their three children, two dogs and two cats. When she’s not writing or busy being a mum, you can find her in the garden or curled up with a romance novel. And if you twist her arm really hard, you can usually persuade her into a day of power shopping.
Michelle loves to hear from readers. Visit her website, www.michellecelmer.com, or write to her at PO Box 300, Clawson, MI 48017, USA.
A Clandestine
Corporate Affair
Michelle Celmer
To Jim, for being the best big brother a pesky younger sister could ask for.
Oh, this was not good.
Ana Birch glanced casually over her shoulder to the upper level of the country club deck, hoping to catch a glimpse of the man in the dark leather jacket, praying that she had been mistaken, that her eyes had been playing tricks on her. Maybe it just looked like him. For months after he dumped her she would see his features in every stranger’s face. The dark, bedroom eyes and the sensual curve of his lips. She would see his broad shoulders and lean physique in men she passed on the street. Her breath would catch and her heart would beat faster … then sink miserably when she realized it was only someone who looked like him. In the eighteen months since he’d ended their affair, he hadn’t so much as called her.
She finally caught sight of him standing by the bar, drink in hand, talking with one of the other guests. Her heart bottomed out, then climbed back up into her throat and lodged there. This was no illusion. It was definitely him.
Oh, God. How could Beth do this to her?
Hitching her nine-month-old son, Max, higher on her hip, she crossed the pristine, rolling green lawn, her heels sinking into the soft, spongy sod. Note to self: never wear spiked heels to an outdoor kids’ party. Or a silk jacket, she added with annoyance, as Max wiggled and slid south again down her side.
In her skinny jeans and knee-high boots, with her freshly dyed, siren-red hair, she was the antithesis of the society mothers who drank and socialized while harried nannies chased their children. A fact that clearly escaped no one as curious glances followed in her wake. But no one dared insult the heiress to the Birch Energy empire, at least not to her face, which Ana found both a relief and an annoyance.
She spotted her cousin Beth standing by the gigantic, inflatable, plastic-ball-filled, germ-breeding monstrosity, watching her six-year-old daughter, Piper, the birthday girl, screaming and flailing inside with a dozen other children.
She loved Beth like a sister, but this time she had gone too far.
Beth saw them approaching and smiled. She didn’t even have the decency to look guilty for what she had done, which didn’t surprise Ana in the least. Beth’s own life was so abysmally uneventful and boring, she seemed to take pleasure meddling in other people’s business. But there was more at stake here than harmless gossip.
“Maxie!” Beth said holding out her arms. Max screeched excitedly and lunged for her, and Ana handed him over. Beth probably figured that Ana couldn’t physically assault her while she was holding a baby.
“Why is he here?” Ana demanded under her breath.
“Who?” Beth asked, playing the innocent card, when she knew damned well who.
“Nathan.”
Ana shot a look over her shoulder at Nathan Everette, chief brand officer of Western Oil, standing by the railing, drink in hand, looking as conservatively handsome and casually sophisticated as he had the day Beth had introduced them. He hadn’t been Ana’s type, as in: he had a successful career, and he didn’t have tattoos or a police record. But he was a bigwig at Western Oil, so having a drink with him had been the ultimate “screw you” to her father. Then one drink became two, then three, and when he asked to drive her home she’d thought, what the heck, he’s pretty harmless.
So much for that brilliant theory. When he kissed her at the door she’d practically burst into flames. Despite what she led people to believe, she wasn’t the precocious sex kitten described in the social pages. She was very selective about who she slept with, and it was never on a first date, but she had practically dragged him inside. And though he might have looked conservative and even came off as a bit stuffy, the man definitely knew how to please a woman. Suddenly sex had taken on an entirely new meaning for her. Then it was no longer about defying her father. She just plain wanted Nathan.
Though it was only supposed to be one night, he kept calling and she found herself helpless to resist him. She was head over heels in love with him by the time he dumped her. Not to mention pregnant.
Nathan glanced her way and their eyes met and locked, and she found herself trapped in their piercing gaze. A cold chill raised the hair on her arms and the back of her neck. One that had nothing to do with the brisk December wind. Then her heart started to beat faster as that familiar awareness crept through her and heat climbed from her throat to the crest of her cheeks.
She tore her eyes away.
“He was Leo’s college roommate,” Beth said, tickling Max under the chin. “I couldn’t not invite him. It would have been rude.”
“You could have at least warned me.”
“If I had, would you have come?”
“Of course not!” She’d spent the better part of the past eighteen months avoiding him. Having him this close to Max was a risk she simply could not take. Beth knew how she felt about this.
Beth’s delicate brow pinched, and she lowered her voice to a harsh whisper. “Maybe I thought it was time you stopped hiding from him. The truth is bound to come out. Don’t you think it’s better now than later? Don’t you think he has a right to know?”
As far as Ana was concerned, he could never know the truth. Besides, he’d made his feelings more than clear. Though he cared for her, he wasn’t in the market for a committed relationship. He didn’t have time. And even if he did, it wouldn’t be with the daughter of a direct competitor. That would be the end of his career.
Wasn’t that the story of her life. For her father, Walter Birch, owner of Birch Energy, reputation and appearances had always meant far more to him than his daughter’s happiness. If he knew she’d had an affair with the CBO of Western Oil, and that man was the father of his grandson, he would see it as the ultimate betrayal. He had considered it a disgrace that she’d had a child out of wedlock, and he’d been so furious when she wouldn’t reveal the father’s name that he cut off all communication until Max was almost two months old. If it wasn’t for the trust her mother had left her, she and Max would have been on the streets.
For years she had played by her father’s rules. She’d done everything he asked of her, playing the role of his perfect little princess, hoping she could win his praise. She dressed in clothes he deemed proper and maintained a grade point average that would make most parents glow with pride, but not her father. Nothing she ever did was good enough, so when being a good girl got her nowhere, she became a bad girl instead. The negative reaction was better than no reaction at all. For a while, at least, but she’d grown weary of that game, too. The day she found out she was pregnant she knew for her baby’s sake it was time to grow up. And despite his illegitimacy, Max had become the apple of his grandfather’s eye. He was already making plans for Max to one day take over Birch Energy. If her father knew Nathan was Max’s daddy, out of spite he would disown them both. How could she in good conscience deny her son his legacy?
That was, in part, why it was best for everyone if Nathan never knew the truth.
“I just want you to be happy,” Beth said, handing Max, who had begun to fuss, back to her.
“I’m going to take Max home,” Ana said, hoisting him up on her hip. She didn’t think Nathan would approach her, not after all this time. Since their split he had never once tried to contact her. Not a phone call or an email, or even a lousy text. He’d gone cold turkey on her.
But running into him by accident wasn’t a chance she was willing to take. Not that she thought he would want anything to do with his son. “I’ll call you later,” she told Beth.
She was about to turn when she heard the deep and unmistakeable rumble of Nathan’s voice from behind her. “Hello, ladies.”
Her pulse stalled then picked up triple time.
Damn it. Ana froze, her back to him, unsure of what to do. Should she run? Turn and face him? What if he looked at Max and just knew? But would running be too suspicious?
“Well, hello, Nathan,” Beth said, air-kissing his cheek, giving Ana’s arm a not-so-gentle tug. “I’m so glad you could make it. You remember my cousin, Ana Birch?”
Ana swallowed hard as she turned, tugging Max’s woolen cap down to cover the small blond patch behind his left ear in his otherwise thick, dark hair. Hair just like his father. He also had the same dent in his left cheek when he smiled, the same soulful, liquid brown eyes.
“Hello, Nathan,” she said, swallowing back her fear and guilt. He didn’t want you, she reminded herself. And he wouldn’t have wanted the baby. You did the right thing. He had to have heard about her pregnancy. It had been the topic of El Paso high society gossip for months. The fact that he’d never once questioned whether or not he was the father told her everything she’d needed to know.
He didn’t want to know.
He looked exactly the same, not that she’d expected him to change much in a year and a half. And Nathan’s cool assessment of her, the lack of affection and tenderness in his gaze, said she had been nothing more to him than a temporary distraction. A passing phase.
She wished she could say the same, but she missed him as much now, ached to feel that soul-deep connection that she’d never experienced with any other man, the feelings of love that had snuck up on her and dug in deep, and seemed to multiply tenfold every time he showed up at her door. Every fiber of her being screamed that he was the one, and she would have sacrificed anything to be with him. Her inheritance, her father’s love—not that she believed for one second that Walter Birch loved anyone other than himself.
There wasn’t a day that passed when she looked into her son’s sweet face and didn’t feel the sting of Nathan’s rejection like a dagger through her heart. And now, the compulsion to throw herself in his arms and beg him to love her was nearly overwhelming.
Pathetic, that was what she was.
“How have you been?” he asked in a tone that was, at best, politely conversational, and he did little more than glance at her son. Hadn’t he expressed quite emphatically that at this point in his career he didn’t have time for a wife and kids? But she hadn’t listened. She had been so sure that she was different, that he could love her. Right up until the moment he walked out the door.
She adopted the same polite tone, even though her insides were twisting with a grief that after all this time still cut her to the core. “Very well, and yourself?”
“Busy.”
She didn’t doubt that. The explosion at Western Oil had been big news. There had been pages of negative press and unfavorable television spots—courtesy of her father, of course. As chief brand officer, it was Nathan’s responsibility to reinvent Western Oil’s image.
“Well, if you’ll excuse me,” Beth said. “I have to see a man about a cake.” Beth shot her a brief, commiserative smile before she scurried off, bailing on Ana when she needed her most.
She hoped Nathan would walk away too. Instead, he chose that moment to acknowledge her son, who was wiggling restlessly, eager for attention.
“This is your son?” he asked.
She nodded. “This is Max.”
The hint of a smile softened his expression. “He’s cute. He has your eyes.”
Attention hound that he was, Max squealed and flailed his arms. Nathan reached out to take his tiny fist in his hand and Ana’s knees went weak. Father and son, making contact for the first time … and hopefully the last. Sudden tears burned the corners of her eyes, and a sense of loss so sharp sliced through every one of her defenses. She needed to get out of here before she did something stupid, like blurt out the truth and turn a bad situation into a catastrophe.
She clutched Max closer to her, which he did not appreciate. He shrieked and squirmed, flailing his chubby little arms, knocking his wool cap off his head.
Damn it!
Before she could reach for it, Nathan crouched down and grabbed it from the grass. She cupped her hand around Max’s head, hoping to cover his birthmark, but when Nathan handed her the hat, she had no choice but to let go. She angled her body so he wouldn’t see the side of Max’s head, but as she reached out to take the cap, Max shrieked and lunged for Nathan. He slipped against her silk jacket and she nearly lost her grip on him. Nathan’s arms shot out to catch him just as she regained her grip and, heart hammering, she hugged Max to her chest.
“Strong little guy,” Nathan said.
“He’s high-spirited,” she said, realizing too late that Max’s left ear was in plain view. Please don’t let him notice. She swiftly swung Max around and deposited him on the opposite hip. “Well, it was nice to see you again Nathan, but I was just leaving.”
Without waiting for a reply she turned to walk away, but before she could take more than a step, Nathan’s hand clamped down hard around her forearm. She felt it like a jolt of electricity.
“Ana?”
She cursed silently and turned to face him, and the second she saw his eyes she could tell that he knew. He had figured it out.
Damn, damn, damn.
That didn’t mean she couldn’t deny it. But not telling him and outright lying were two very different things. Besides, the birthmark was going to be tough to explain.
Oh, well, so what if he knew? He’d been quite firm that he didn’t want children. He probably wouldn’t even care if the baby was his, as long as she agreed never to tell anyone and never asked for his support. And why would she? Her trust fund kept her and Max living quite comfortably. Nathan could just go on with his life and pretend it never happened.
Nathan reached up and gently cupped her son’s face, turning his head so he could see behind his ear. Thinking it was a game, Max batted at his hand and wiggled in her arms.
She’d heard of people going ghostly white but had never actually witnessed it until just then. He definitely knew, and he clearly wasn’t expecting this. Hadn’t even considered it being a remote possibility.
“A private word?” he asked, jaw tense, teeth gritted.
“Where?” They were at a party with at least two hundred other people, most of whom knew she and Nathan wouldn’t have a lot to talk about. Where could they possibly go without drawing attention to themselves? “You wouldn’t want to be seen with the daughter of a direct competitor,” she snapped in a voice filled with so much pent-up resentment she barely recognized it as her own. “What would people think?”
Nathan’s jaw tensed. “Just tell me this,” he said under his breath. “Is he mine?”
Oh, boy. How many times had she imagined this moment? What she would say if ever faced with this situation. She had rehearsed the conversation a thousand times, but now that the moment was here her mind was totally blank.
“Answer me,” he demanded, sounding far too much like her father.
Did you really sneak a bottle of my good scotch into the school dance? Answer me, Ana Marie Birch!
She had no choice but to tell Nathan the truth, but all she could manage was a stiff nod.
Nathan cursed, anger flashing in his eyes, holding her arm so tight he was cutting off the blood flow to her fingers. In all the time she’d been with him, she’d never seen him so much as raise his voice. His outrage was probably just a knee-jerk reaction. He was upset because she hadn’t told him, but would ultimately be relieved when she assured him he had no responsibilities in regard to her son. Financial or parental. He might even thank her for being so reasonable and honoring his wishes. Then he would leave, and hopefully she would never have to see him again.
Of course there was another possibility. One she’d found too disturbing to consider until now. Or maybe she’d just refused to let herself go there. What if he wanted to be a part of Max’s life? What if he wanted visitation and a say in the decisions? What if he tried to take Max away from her?
The thought made her clutch her son closer to her chest, which of course made him wiggle in protest. For nine months he had been her entire life. The only person who truly loved and needed her. She refused to let anyone, especially a man like Nathan, who didn’t have time for a girlfriend much less a son, take that away from her.
“Should I assume,” Nathan asked through gritted teeth, “that you never intended to tell me?”
“To be honest,” she said, lifting her chin with a defiance that was meant to hide the fact that inside she was terrified, “I didn’t think you would care.”
He had a son.
Nathan could hardly wrap his mind around the concept. And Ana was wrong. He did care. Probably too much. The instant he saw her talking to Beth his heart slammed the wall of his chest so hard it stole his breath, and when their eyes met he’d experienced such a bone-deep need to be close to her, he was down the stairs and striding in her direction before he could consider the repercussions of his actions.
After he ended their affair, he must have picked up the phone a dozen times that first week, ready to tell her that he’d made a mistake, that he wanted her back, even though it would have been the end of his career at Western Oil. But he had worked too damned hard to get where he was to throw it all away for a relationship that was doomed from the start to fail. So he had done the only thing he could. He’d gotten over her … or so he thought. Now he wasn’t so sure.
She tried to jerk her arm from his grasp and her grimace said he was hurting her. Damn it. He released his grip and clamped a vice down on his temper. He worked damned hard to maintain control at all times. What was it about her that made him abandon all good sense?
“We need to talk,” he said in a harsh whisper. “Now.”
“This is hardly the place,” she said.
She was right. If they disappeared together people were bound to notice. And talk.
“Okay, this is what we’re going to do,” he said. “You’re going to say goodbye to Beth, get in your car and drive home. A few minutes after that I’m going to slip out. I’ll meet you at your condo.”
Her chin rose a notch. “And if I say no?”
She was trying to be tough, trying to play the spoiled heiress card, but he knew better. He knew that deep down the defiant confidence she flaunted like some badge of honor was nothing more than a smokescreen to hide the fact that she was as vulnerable and insecure as the next woman.
“Not advisable,” he said. “Besides, you owe me the courtesy of an explanation.”
Even she couldn’t deny that, and after a brief pause she said, “Fine.”
What else could she say? She may have been stubborn and, yes, a little spoiled, but she was an intelligent woman. She walked away, clutching her son—their son—unsteady on the grass in her ridiculously high-heeled boots. Hooker boots, his brother Jordan would have called them. Not the typical attire for an heiress, and even less appropriate for a mother, but she never had been one to play by the rules, which was what had drawn Nathan to her in the first place. Her confidence and her spunk had been an incredible turn-on, especially when he was used to dating “proper” women. The kind who would keep him grounded, who wouldn’t tempt him from within the safe place he’d carved out for himself and back into the dark side. But she hadn’t been nearly as wicked as she wanted people to believe. In fact, she’d coaxed him farther out into the light than any other woman had managed.
Nathan spotted Beth and headed in her direction. He didn’t doubt for a second that she knew the baby was his. And the look on her face as he approached said she knew that he knew. “She swore us to secrecy,” Beth said before he could get a word out.
“You should have told me.”
She snorted. “Like you didn’t already know.”
“How could I have?”
“Come on, Nathan. You break up with a woman and a month later she turns up pregnant, and you’re telling me you didn’t even suspect it was yours?”
Of course he had. He kept waiting for a call from Ana. He trusted that if the child was his she would have the decency to tell him. When he didn’t hear from her he just assumed the baby was another man’s, which he’d taken to mean that she’d wasted no time moving on. Which he couldn’t deny stung like hell.
Turned out there really hadn’t been anyone else—at least, not that he knew of. That wasn’t much of a consolation at this point.
“It was wrong of her to keep it from me,” he told Beth.
“Yes, it was. But—and she would kill me if she knew I was telling you this—you broke her heart, Nathan. She was devastated when you ended the relationship. So, please, cut her a little slack.”
That was no excuse to keep his child from him. “I have to go. Give the birthday girl a kiss for me.”
Beth’s brow cinched with worry. “Go easy on her, Nathan. You have no idea what she’s been through the past year and a half. The pregnancy, the birth … she did everything on her own.”
“That was her choice. At least she had one.” Feeling angry and betrayed by people he trusted, Nathan turned and headed toward the parking lot. Although, honestly, what had he expected? He and Leo had drifted since their college days, and Beth was Ana’s cousin. Had he really expected her to break the confidence of a family bond for a casual acquaintance? If that were the case, should Nathan have felt compelled in college to tell Beth how many times he had come back to the frat house to find her husband Leo, then her steady boyfriend, in his room with another girl?
Besides, he thought, as he slipped behind the wheel of his Porsche, maybe he had suspected the baby was his and deep down didn’t want to know the truth. Maybe that’s why he never called her, never confirmed for his own peace of mind. Maybe the truth scared the hell out of him. What would he do if it was his kid? What would he tell Adam Blair, his boss and CEO of Western Oil? He was having a child who just happened to be the grandson of the owner of the company’s leading competitor. That would have been a disaster then, but now, since the explosion at the refinery, and the suspicion that Birch Energy might somehow be involved, it was a whole new ball game. Not only could he kiss goodbye any chance at the soon-to-be-open CEO position, he would probably lose the job he already had.
Besides, what the hell did he know about being a father, other than the fact that he didn’t want to be anything like his own father? But the margin for error was still astronomical.
He’d been to Ana’s condo in Raven Hill so many times he drove there on autopilot. When he pulled into the driveway, a white luxury SUV was already parked there. She must have traded in her sports car for something more practical. Because that was what responsible parents did. And despite everything, he didn’t doubt for a second that Ana would be a good mother. She used to talk about losing her own mother and how her father ignored her. She said that when she had children they would be the center of her universe.
Nathan and his brother Jordan had the opposite problem. Their father had been on their backs, cramming his principles down their throats and bullying them into doing things his way since they were old enough to have free will. Which Nathan hadn’t hesitated to exercise in full force, butting heads with the old man on a daily basis. Giving back as good as his father gave, until he’d pushed so far in the opposite direction, was so crippled by rage and indignation, he had lost a part of himself in the process.
He parked beside the SUV, let go of the steering wheel and flexed his fingers. He’d been gripping it so hard his arms ached. He needed to relax. Yes, he was pissed, but going in there half-cocked was only going to make a bad situation worse.
He took a deep, calming breath, got out, and walked to the porch. Ana was standing in the open doorway waiting for him, as she had been countless times before. They couldn’t be seen in public together, so they’d spent most of their time together here. Only this time as she let him in and closed the door, she didn’t slide her arms around his neck and pull him to her for a long, slow kiss. The kind that made the stress of the day roll off his shoulders, until nothing mattered but being with her. He wondered what she would do if he drew her against him and pressed his lips to hers.
She would probably deck him, and he would deserve it. But it was almost worth the risk. Despite the time that had passed, he wanted her as much now as the first day he met her. As much as the day he walked out the door. Cutting all ties, ending things before they both got in too deep, had been the kindest thing he could do for her. For either of them. And he’d be smart to remember that.
Ana had shed the silk jacket and boots, and in form-fitting jeans, a peasant blouse and bare feet, she looked more like a college student than someone’s mother. As always, she was a total contrast to the conservative chinos and button-up shirt that was his standard uniform. His disguise, to hide the real man lurking underneath the spit and polish. He’d never admitted to anyone, not even Ana, how damned hard it could be to keep him contained.
He shrugged out of his jacket and hung it on the coat tree by the door. “Where’s the baby?”
“He’s in bed.”
“I want to see him.” He started for the hall that led to the bedrooms, but she stepped in his way.
“Maybe later.”
Anger sparked, then ignited, hot and intense, and had his blood pumping through his veins. “Are you saying you refuse to let me see my own son?”
“He’s asleep. Besides, I think it’s best if we talk first.”
He had half a mind to demand to see him, to push his way past her. Hadn’t she kept him from the kid long enough? But she was standing there, arms crossed, wearing a mama-bear look that said it would be in his best interest not to screw with her or her child. When it came to their son, she clearly didn’t mess around.
He clamped a vice down on his anger and said, “Okay, let’s talk.”
She gestured across the spacious living room to the couch. “Have a seat.”
Her home had always had a relaxed feel, and despite the service that cleaned weekly there had always been clutter. But now, with toys strewn everywhere, it was like walking through a minefield to get to the couch. As he sat he had a vivid memory of the two of them sitting there together naked, her straddling him, head thrown back, eyes closed, riding him until they were both blind with ecstasy. The memory had his blood pumping through his veins again.
“Something to drink?” she asked.
How about a cold shower instead? “No thanks.”
She sat cross-legged in the overstuffed chair across from him.
Since he saw no reason not to get right to the point, he asked, “So you thought it was okay to have my child and not tell me?”
“When you heard that I was pregnant, you could have asked,” she said.
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