Читать книгу: «Courting Her Amish Heart»

Chapter One

Kathleen Yoder stood in front of the motel room mirror, fussing with her hair. She had to look just right. She needed to be viewed as a proper Amish woman if her community was going to welcome her home. She pulled the pins from her hair and started over. What did the English say? Third time’s a charm.

Even though all through her medical training she had continued to dress Amish and put her hair up, she hadn’t had another Amish woman to measure her ability against. It wasn’t gut to compare oneself to others, but she could gauge if she had been getting her clothes and hair put right. Iron sharpens iron. Had the fourteen years in the English world whittled away at her Amish standards? Probably. However, she would quickly fall back into Amish life.

She snugged her kapp on her head and smoothed her hands down her blue Plain dress. At this point, no more amount of labor would make her appearance any more appropriate. She would need to trust Gott to pave her way.

She zipped her suitcase closed, lowered it to the floor and extended the roller handle, holding it tight. With her other hand, she slung one strap of her backpack of medical supplies over her shoulder and draped her coat over her arm.

Rolling her suitcase behind her, she opened the door and stepped out into the sunlight. The only things that stood between her and home now were the bus ride to Goshen and the walk to the farm. If she could convince the bus driver to let her off outside of town, she would have only eight miles to trek.

She traipsed to the bus station three blocks away, purchased her ticket and sat in the seat behind the driver. “Could you let me off outside of Goshen?” She gave him the country road names of the intersection.

“Sorry. I’m not authorized to make a stop there.” He tipped his head up and glanced at her in his rearview mirror. “Is someone meeting you at the station?”

“No.” She hadn’t had the courage to contact anyone to come get her. It would be harder to turn her away if she were at the door.

“How you getting from town out to the country?”

“I’ll walk.”

“That’s a long ways. Well over ten miles.”

Thirteen point two from the city limits and another two or three from the bus station. “I’ll be fine.” She needed to get used to traversing these stretches. No time like the present.

“I’m sure one of your people would gladly come into town to get you. Or you could take a taxi.”

If someone knew she was returning today. But she hadn’t told anyone. “The walk will do me gut.” It would help transition her back into the slower pace of life. As well as giving her something to occupy herself with instead of dealing with idle chatter. Giving her a chance to prepare herself for the meeting of her people. She hoped they still were her people.

She stared out the window at her home state’s terrain sweeping by. As the Indiana countryside grew increasingly more familiar, snippets of her past surged through her. Places she’d been. People she’d seen. Homes she’d visited. Her life among the English fell away with each passing mile.

The bus slowed, and the driver pulled onto the shoulder of the highway and stopped under an overpass. The one she’d hoped he could have taken to shorten her walk. The driver stood and faced the passengers. “I need to check something on the bus outside. Won’t be but a minute.” The driver gazed directly at Kathleen. “Could you accompany me?”

Kathleen stood. “All right.” She didn’t know what help she could be.

With a broad smile, he motioned for her to precede him down the steps.

Once outside, he handed over her medical pack and coat. He must have taken them from her seat. He pointed to the lower storage compartments. “Which one’s your luggage in?”

“Excuse me?”

He faced her. “You see, I’m not supposed to stop along the way, but if I think there could be a problem with the bus...well, that’s a different story. And if, while I’m checking the bus, a passenger was to get off, and if I wasn’t able to talk her into getting back on, there’s nothing I could do about that. And if a particular piece of luggage were to ‘fall’ off, there wouldn’t be anything I could do about that either. Seeing as I wouldn’t notice it until I got to the station.”

She smiled. “I appreciate your kindness.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m just checking on the bus.” He winked. “I believe the problem could be in the back compartment. I’ll need to move a...dark blue roller case?”

She nodded. She shouldn’t encourage this kind of deceptive behavior.

He opened the section and pushed a couple of bags aside before pulling hers free. “You going to be all right by yourself?”

“I’ll be fine.” She felt safer already being here than she’d ever felt being at the university or in any of the hospitals or clinics where she’d worked. “Thank you.” She appreciated him cutting her walk in half.

Giving her a nod, he climbed back into the bus. “False alarm. Everything is as it should be.” He winked at her again, then closed the doors.

She waved in return, and several passengers waved to her. As the bus pulled away, she pressed a hand to her queasy abdomen. Almost home. Regardless of the reception she would receive, she was back in her Elkhart County New Order Amish community. She draped her coat over the top of her suitcase, balanced her medical backpack on top of that, gripped the roller handle and struck out on the very last leg of her fourteen-year journey. Up the off-ramp, down the road, along the country lane, and toward home.

After trudging along for fifteen minutes or so on the edge of the blacktop, she realized this was not at all like walking the halls of a hospital. She was out of shape and shifted her suitcase handle to her other hand.

The familiar reverberation of horse’s hooves clomping on the pavement came from behind her. The comforting sound both thrilled her and caused her unsteady insides to knot. In all her daydreams, she hadn’t pictured seeing any Amish until her family opened the front door. How foolish. Who would this be? Someone she knew? Would anyone still recognize her?

As the horse and buggy drew closer, her midsection twisted tighter and tighter. She dared not turn around though she wanted to know whom it was. But at the same time, she didn’t want to know. Let them pass her by.

First, the horse came alongside her, then the buggy. The driver slowed the horse to her pace. “Hallo.”

She glanced up into the sun and raised her hand to shade her eyes. The bearded face held a kind smile and sparkling brown eyes that sent a small thrill dancing through her. Shame on her. His beard signified he was a married man. Though he seemed familiar, she couldn’t place him. Maybe it was just because he was Amish. And all her emotions, negative and positive, were heightened.

“Hallo.” She stopped, welcoming the respite. Or did she welcome the delay in arriving at her destination?

He reined in the horse and spoke in Deutsch. “Can I give you a ride?”

It had been so long since she’d heard her language. She replied in kind. “That’s very considerate of you.” She was tired, not used to this amount of walking in the late-spring heat. “But I’m fine. Walking is gut.” Nevertheless, she remained rooted in place, not wanting to part company from this man yet for some strange reason.

He set the brake and jumped down. He stood between her and a passing pickup truck as though protecting her from it. His gaze flickered to her suitcase then back to her face. “I’m Noah Lambright.”

No doubt he thought she was running away with her suitcase in tow. “I’m Kathleen Yoder.”

His eyes widened slightly as though her name were familiar. Why wasn’t his? Noah? She had known many Noahs in her youth, both young and old. But now she’d spent nearly as much time away as she had at home. Certainly such a handsome Amish man she would have remembered. “I’m sure my strolling alongside the road with my suitcase must have you confused. I’m not running away, if that’s what you’re thinking.” Quite the opposite. She was finally running home. Home to her family. Home to her community. Home to her Amish way of life. And for some reason, it was important that this man—this Noah—knew that.

“If you were running away, you’d be heading in that direction.” He pointed down the road the way she’d come. He picked up her medical pack and coat in one hand and hoisted her suitcase in the other.

Kathleen reached for them. “What are you doing with my things?”

He put them in the back of his open buggy. “Even if you refuse a ride, I can at least take your belongings to your destination so you don’t have to cart them along behind you.” He held out his hand to her. “Are you sure you don’t want a ride? This is the hottest part of the day.”

“What would your wife say to you picking up a woman you don’t know?”

Pain flickered across his features and left just as quickly. “I’m widowed.”

“Oh. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it. She passed three years ago.”

“I thought with your beard...” She needed to just stop talking. But why did he still wear one? It wasn’t her place to ask. So he wasn’t married after all. That was gut to know. Ne, it wasn’t. The poor man had lost his wife. And she had no room in her life to consider courting and marriage.

He must have noticed her staring because he rubbed his jaw. “I’ve been meaning to shave this off. Thought about doing so this morning.”

Three years? And he still wore a beard? That was none of her business.

“So what do you say to that ride?” His mouth quirked up on one side.

That caused her insides to dance. Though she didn’t want to hurry her journey along, she certainly wasn’t enjoying the hike. She had wanted this time alone to gather her thoughts. But her hand reached out for his.

Strong, calloused and work worn. Comforting.

He helped her up into the front seat and with him came the distinct aroma of fresh-cut wood and something sweet.

She had rarely ever ridden in the front. This was an open buggy and still daylight, so there wouldn’t be anything inappropriate about accepting his offer. For what she had spent the past fourteen years doing and what she planned to do in the near future, she needed to make sure everything else she did was beyond reproof. She didn’t want to give the church leadership any more reasons than necessary to refuse her offer of help.

He climbed in next to her and set the buggy into motion. Strangely, he didn’t dive into conversation and questions like the English, who felt the need to fill every silence. He just drove. Down one road and then another. Turning here and there. How odd that the silence wasn’t in the least awkward. Sitting next to this man—this stranger—was comfortable.

And honey. He smelled of wood and honey. Very comforting, indeed.

Solar panels winking off a roof caught her attention. An Englisher must have bought that farm. When she’d left, it had belonged to one of the Lehman families. Another house also had solar panels. And then the next one. They couldn’t have all been sold out of the community. Amish liked to keep Amish property in the family, and if not, sell it to another Amish. “Did Englishers buy several of these farms?”

“Ne.”

“But what about the solar panels? They aren’t allowed.”

“They are now.”

She’d thought about how nice this form of electricity would be for the Amish and planned to bring it up to the leaders—after she got her clinic going. What other changes had taken place in her absence? Did her parents have solar panels?

When he turned onto the road that passed her parents’ home, she faced him. “How did you know where I was going?”

“You’re Kathleen Yoder. Your parents are David and Pamela Yoder.”

“How did you know?”

“Everyone knows who you are. The girl who went away to become a doctor.”

She couldn’t tell if that was sarcasm in his voice or something...something less negative. Dare she hope admiration? What was she thinking? Of course not. Her devout Amish neighbors would never condone her actions without permission from the bishop. But that didn’t matter. She would help them whether they liked it or not. She had a plan. In time, she hoped they would see the gut in what she’d done.

Lord, let them see I did it for them. For all of them.

* * *

Noah clucked to the horse and flicked the reins to keep Fred moving. He still couldn’t reconcile the strange sight that he’d found on the roadside.

Kathleen Yoder. Strolling along like a distant memory or faded dream.

She wasn’t at all what he’d pictured. He’d heard so many stories about her that he’d thought she’d be taller. More of a person to be reckoned with. He’d expected her to be more forceful. Not demure. How was she ever going to forge her way to be a doctor in their community? A doctor close at hand could prevent many senseless deaths. He admired her tenacity to do what no other Amish would. Woman or man.

And if she could come back after nearly a decade and a half, that gave him hope that another might too.

He certainly never anticipated her to be pretty, with her dark brown hair, steady blue eyes and heart-shaped face. Why would she have wanted to leave and pursue something like medicine against the leadership’s wishes? She could have married any man she wanted. Every young man must have had his sights on courting her.

“Stop the buggy.” Her words came out half-strangled.

“Why? We’re almost there.”

“That’s why. Please stop. Please.” She grabbed the reins and pulled back. Her hands brushed against his.

Fred eagerly obeyed.

Her touch sent a tingle shuddering up Noah’s arm. Before he could put on the brake and even before the horse came to a complete stop, Kathleen jumped to the ground and circled behind the buggy.

He set the brake and climbed down.

Kathleen paced behind the buggy, muttering to herself in English. “I stood up to Dr. Wilson with all his old-fashioned treatments that weren’t evidence-based. I had been right, and the patient lived. I can do this. I can face my family and the community without shame for my disobedience.”

He watched her for a moment. “What are you doing?”

“I’m trying to gain my courage. I thought I’d have this whole walk—” she swung one arm back the way she’d come “—to think about what to say to my parents. Planned it all out. And prepared myself if they don’t give me a warm welcome.”

“I’m sure they’ll welc—”

“What will I say to my younger siblings? Are any of them even left at home? The baby that was born the year after I left. Samuel. He’d be thirteen. And Jessica would be only fifteen. They won’t even know me. Are Benjamin and Joshua still enjoying Rumspringa? Or are they too old? Have they joined church? And Ruby should be considering marriage. I wonder if she’s being courted by anyone? And Gloria is certainly married.”

She was really worked up. He felt bad that she was so distraught. Dare he try again to console her, to let her know all would be well?

Another buggy came up the lane. Noah motioned for the driver to keep going. He didn’t think Kathleen needed someone else to witness her distress.

The young man nodded and kept moving.

Noah nodded back.

“Who was that? Someone I would know? Do you think he recognized me?”

“I think you know him. That was Benjamin Yoder.”

Kathleen stopped fidgeting and stared at him. “My brother? Benjamin?”

Her steady blue gaze warmed him. He nodded.

With a wistful expression, Kathleen studied the retreating buggy. “My brother.” She sighed. “I wouldn’t have recognized him. Do you think he recognized me?”

“I don’t think he got a very gut loo—”

“Of course he didn’t recognize me.” Kathleen resumed her pacing. “I’ve been gone for fourteen years, and he was so young when I left. How could he?”

“Kathleen?”

“How will any of them remember me?”

“Kathleen?”

“I will be as a stranger to them. All of them.”

Noah grabbed both of her hands to calm her. “Kathleen, look at me.”

Her panicked blue eyes turned to him and slowly focused. “I could diagnose pneumonia. I could set a broken bone. I could take out your appendix. All that, I can do. This I cannot.” She meant facing her family.

He squeezed her hands. “Don’t be silly.”

“I’m not silly.” She tried to pull her hands free.

He held fast. He didn’t want to let her go. “I didn’t say you were silly. I said you were being silly. You left the community and went against the wishes of the church leaders. You studied for so many years. You have done what no other Amish have dared. Where is that girl? The one who did all those things?”

Her voice came out small. “I think I left her back in the city.”

“Ne. You didn’t. She brought you back here.” He’d presumed she would be a stout woman who took charge. Not this slip of a thing who appeared scared and unsure of herself. Not this beautiful woman standing before him. “Your parents will be happy to see you.”

“How do you know?”

“They’ve never stopped talking about you.”

“You know my parents?”

He gave a nod. “I’ve spent quite a bit of time with them the past three years. My farm borders theirs. They’re proud of all you’ve accomplished.”

“Now I know they’ve never said that. Pride goes against the church.”

“It’s the way they talk about you.”

“So they talk about my being a doctor? Do they think the community will accept me?”

“They don’t talk about that.”

“You mean my being a doctor?”

He nodded.

“Then how do you know they’re proud of my accomplishments, if they don’t talk about my being a doctor?”

“Like I said, it’s the way they talk about you. About their daughter who is in the English world. I can’t explain it.”

Kathleen pulled free and resumed pacing. “Why did I ever leave? What was I thinking?”

Noah stared at his empty hands, then tucked them into his pockets to keep them from reaching out for her again. “Honestly, I’ve never been able to figure that out. Did you think the leaders would pat you on the back for your efforts? You know they disapprove of your actions? But your parents don’t.”

She stopped and stared at him with wide blue eyes. “I don’t know what to do. In a hospital or surgery I do, but not here. Give me a patient, and I’d know what to do.”

How could someone be so confident in one area and not in another? “Climb back in the buggy and go see your family. Both you and they have been waiting fourteen years for this. Your reception isn’t going to change five minutes from now. Or five hours. Or five days.”

“You’re right. Gut or bad, I must go.” She clasped her hands together and bowed her head.

He prayed silently as well. Prayed for a warm welcome. Prayed for Kathleen to be strong. Prayed for Kathleen to become the woman Gott meant her to be. Prayed to get to know her better.

After another pickup truck passed, Kathleen marched around the buggy, climbed in and stared straight ahead with her hands folded primly in her lap.

Definitely not how he’d pictured the indomitable Kathleen Yoder. This Kathleen Yoder was never going to make it as a doctor in their Amish district. She would fall back into the traditional Amish role for women or leave the community for gut this time. That thought settled uneasily inside him.

Either way, it would be a loss, and he would be disappointed. The community could use her skills and knowledge as a doctor—even if they weren’t willing to admit it.

Yet.

No, she wasn’t the woman he’d imagined her to be. Hoped her to be.

She was so much better in so many ways.