Читать книгу: «Britischer Humor- Sarkastisch, Tocken, Ironisch!»

LET‘S GO!

Teacher: Paul. Give me a sentence beginning with “I”.

Paul: I is the…

Teacher: No, Paul . You must say “I am” not “I is.”

Paul: All right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

Judi and Jon got married and she was at the drug store looking at the men's toiletries. A clerk comes up to help her and asks if she needs assistance.

"I'm looking for some deodorant for my new husband Jon, but I don't know what type he uses."

The clerk says, "Is it the ball type?"

"No," says Judi, it's for his underarms."

What do you do if you are driving your car in central London and you see a space man?

Park in it, of course.

This isn’t an office, it’s hell with fluorescent lighting.

A woman came home from a nearby farm with two buckets of cow manure for her garden. "What's that for?" asked 6 year old Kelly. "The strawberries, " Mom answered. After staring at the buckets for a moment, Kelly asked, "Can I just have mine with whipped cream?"

Ohhh, let me turn on the part of my brain that gives a damn.

Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.

Two very elderly ladies were enjoying the sunshine on a park bench in Miami. They had been meeting that park every sunny day, for over 12 years, chatting and enjoying each others' friendship.

One day, the younger of the two ladies, turns to the other and says, "Please don't be angry with me dear, but I am embarrassed. After all these years, what is your name? I am trying to remember, but I just can't."