Читать книгу: «Vampaholic»

Chapter 1

“Abs to die for,” I purred appreciatively.

On the bar stool beside me, Ramon looked up from the notepad propped on his crossed knees. “Check, boss,” he said, making a tick mark on the page.

“Biceps pumped,” I continued.

One of the carpenters rebuilding the club’s stage began to use a nail gun, and each thunk-whap! seemed to go right through my pounding temples. One of the reasons I’d drifted into the Hot Box Club as late as I had was to avoid the loud construction, but I’d forgotten the double time and a half I’d promised the crew if they worked evenings this week. Of course, the other reason I’d shown up so tardily had been because when my alarm clock had gone off at noon, I’d thrown it across the room and burrowed my head under the pillows again. I took a hasty sip of the cocktail I’d concocted as a hair-of-the-dog remedy for last night’s overindulgence and spoke above the noise. “Sweetie, can you give us a slow turn?”

My first order of business when I’d taken possession of the Hot Box had been to have everything inside it hauled away, most of the chairs and tables having been destroyed in a massive fight on the former strip dive’s last night of operation. The replacement furnishings I’d ordered hadn’t been delivered yet, so right now my new club was little more than a cavernously empty space.

Empty of furniture, that is. In addition to the carpenters working on the stage, a conga line of gorgeous males wearing hopeful expressions and not much else snaked from the vicinity of the bar to the coat check area near the main entrance. The dark-haired Adonis at the head of the line obligingly presented his rear view to Ramon and me.

“Mmm-mmm!” Ramon said for my ears only. “Even covered by tighty-whities, those buns look hard enough to crack nuts.”

“Yours, maybe, if you get fresh with him,” I enlightened him. “He’s not gay, sweetie. That means I get to pick him to play on my team.”

“Wanna bet, chica?” Ramon gave the man a sultry wink and got a faint smile in return. “Please, Kat. Some things a boy just knows,” he murmured.

Instead of answering him, I raised my martini glass at the Adonis. “I think I left out an ingredient, Jean-Paul. The ones you made for me last night tasted just a tad yummier, somehow. Vodka, amaretto, orange juice, a dollop of cherry sorbet and…?”

“Crème de pêche, chérie,” the dark-haired man answered, his smile broadening. “C’est essentiel, non? Without it you do not have a true Baiser de Vampire—Vampire’s Kiss, as you say in English. If you wish, I can come to your place again this evening and show you more of my repertoire.” He gave a glance that seemed to savor every last detail of me, taking in the way I’d pulled my hair into a silver-blond chignon, appreciating how my creamcolored Badgley Mischka slip dress skimmed my curves…and seeming to know that under my sophisticated exterior, I was wearing a deliciously trampy pink-and-black bra and panties. “My bartending repertoire, of course,” he added with Gallic suavity.

“Too tempting, sweetie. Unfortunately I’m otherwise engaged,” I sighed. “But I was impressed enough last night that I’ve decided you’ve got the job. Talk to Ramon before you leave and he’ll go through the details with you.”

“Impressed by what part of his repertoire?” Ramon asked cattily as Jean-Paul strolled out of the room in his tight briefs. “And as club manager, don’t I have any input on who we hire?”

“Of course you do.” I patted his hand. “But for the public to forget the guys-only reputation this place used to have when it was the Hot Box, it’s vital we attract women from the start. That’s the official reason for this pecs and abs beauty contest, sweetie—the fact that you and I adore looking at half-naked men is just a bonus. Trust me, having a bare-chested Jean-Paul shaking cocktails behind the bar will definitely raise female pulses.”

And pulses are another must-have for our future clientele, I reminded myself as I went around the bar to freshen my drink, seeing as how, by the Hot Box’s last night of business, most of its patrons didn’t possess one.

That had been the downside of buying this establishment. Once merely a sleazy strip joint, during its final month it had been owned by the Queen of All Evil—one of the titles my sisters and I knew her by, although on the Hot Box’s unpaid tax notices she’d used the name Zena Uzhasnoye, which my Grandfather Darkheart says translates as Zena the Terrible. But whatever alias she’d gone under, she’d turned the Hot Box into a center of vamp activity…and in the process, neglected such mundane matters as paying the bills. After my sister Megan had finally staked her, it wasn’t long before a notice was tacked up on the door informing anyone who was interested that the place was to be sold to pay off the creditors.

I’d seen the notice at a time when I’d been wondering what I could do with the rest of my life, and the notion of buying the Hot Box and turning it into a trendy club had seemed absolutely inspired. I like cocktails and parties and men. Clubs include all those things. Investigation agencies don’t, and going to work for an investigation agency was the only other option that had presented itself since my initial life plan of becoming Mrs. Lance Zellweger had blown up in my face.

The agency idea had been Tashya’s. “So we’ve whacked the queen vampyr,” she’d said to Megan and me a few days after the final battle at the Hot Box. “What about the ones that got away? We know Zena brought along a few dozen undead troops when she came to Maplesburg, and that’s not counting the vamps she and her buddies created once they arrived. Strolling around at night staking any vampires we might happen to come across is better than doing nothing, but we need to get organized if we’re going to clean up this town. What do you think about Darkheart & Crosse for a name?”

“A name for what?” Megan had asked, stifling a yawn—the result of her strolling around, as Tash put it, the previous night and staking whatever vamps she’d come across. Not for the first time since the battle at the Hot Box I had wondered what kind of toll being a hereditary Daughter of Lilith would take on my sister. For those who don’t know, Daughter of Lilith is the correct term for what Megan is—a true descendant of Adam’s first wife, the one who’s gotten such bad PR over the centuries from Venus-envying men. Technically, Tash and I are daughters of Lilith, too, but the vamp-slaying destiny only gets passed down to one female descendant per family per generation.

Which makes us Megan’s sidekicks, in the staking business at least. As Tash had continued, I’d suspected she wasn’t totally thrilled with being a sidekick.

“A name for our agency, of course,” she’d said. “Say a woman looks out her window one night and sees her boyfriend standing there, except there’s no way he can be because she’s in a third-story apartment with no balcony. Or some poor schmuck walking his dog after dark barely escapes being attacked by a bunch of thugs who have fangs and can fly, or a wife notices a bite mark on hubbie’s neck and the next day finds him sleeping in the basement under a blanket of dirt. Who do they call?” she’d demanded. “Not the cops, unless they want to be labeled nutcases. Which is where Darkheart & Crosse comes in. We set up an office, put out some flyers—”

“And just what do you propose these flyers say, sweetie?” I drawled. “Darkheart & Crosse, Vamp Exterminators?’

Tash had given me an annoyed look. “I was thinking more along the lines of Darkheart & Crosse: Extraordinary Investigations.”

“You know, Kat, I think the brat’s got something,” Megan had said slowly. “Grandfather Darkheart says that in the old country, everyone knows who the local Daughter of Lilith is, even if they don’t talk about what she does. But this is Maplesburg. Maybe we should hang out a shingle.”

It had snowballed from there. Mikhail, Megan’s gorgeous shape-shifting main squeeze—don’t ask, it’s a long story—had thought the idea of an agency made sense, and although Grandfather Darkheart had been dubious at first, Megan’s point about Maplesburg not being Carpathia had finally won him over.

If anyone had asked my opinion about the whole thing, I would have given it. But they hadn’t, so two weeks later I had signed the papers making me the new owner of the late, unlamented Hot Box.

The acquisition had taken a big chunk out of my part of the trust funds Popsie had set up for his three granddaughters, which we’d been able to access when we’d turned twenty-one. I’d written the check without a qualm, informed Megan and Tash about my purchase, and made regretful sounding apologies for not joining them in their Darkheart & Crosse venture.

Only then had the sick feeling that had lodged in the pit of my stomach since Tash had proposed her vampire-hunting agency idea gone away.

Which wasn’t to say that I didn’t still have problems, I thought now as I turned from the bar and narrowed my eyes at the crew of carpenters. I did, but they were the kind that could be solved. Cocktail in hand, I left Ramon in gay heaven interviewing the conga line of beefcake and made my way to the half-built stage on the far side of the room. The crew foreman, bulging biceps revealed by the rolled-up sleeves of his sawdusty shirt—don’t you just love what swinging a hammer all day does for a man’s muscles?—gave a grin as I approached.

“Hey, boss lady, I wondered when you’d get tired of those pretty boys prancing around in their undershorts and check out us real men.” He lowered his voice and a frown replaced his grin. “Why didn’t you call last night, babe? I waited around to hear from you and when you didn’t phone I tried your number but I just kept getting your machine. I know you were home because when I drove by, your car was parked outside and a couple of lights were on in your apartment.”

Gorgeous biceps or not, Terry was the problem I needed to solve. I took a sip of my drink and did so. “Getting my very own personal stalker wasn’t what I had in mind when you and I had our fling last week, darling,” I said lightly. “As spine-tingly and delicious as you made me feel during our naughty little romp, it was a one-time-only thing. So much more romantic that way, don’t you think? You know, ships that pass in the night and all—”

“Cut the bullshit, Kat!” His tone was beginning to attract attention. I saw the dark-haired carpenter nearest to us flick a glance our way before returning to the task of reloading his nail gun as Terry went on. “I fell like a ton of bricks for you and you know it! Who the hell were you screwing senseless last night when you could have been with me?”

I sighed. I’d tried letting him down easily, but some men just can’t accept it when a woman doesn’t rush out to choose a china pattern after she sleeps with them. “If you must know, sweetie, one of those pretty boys over there prancing around in his underwear. His name’s Jean-Paul, and to be perfectly honest, it was a toss-up as to who screwed who more senseless.” I tipped back the final potent drops of my cocktail and gave Terry a wide-eyed look over the rim of the glass. “You know, it really is true what they say about the French knowing so much more about amour. Jean-Paul had me doing things I’d never imagined in my wickedest—”

“Spare me the fucking details,” Terry said tightly. “Before I went out with you I heard stories about what a ball breaker you were, but I didn’t believe them. Now I do.” He grabbed a nearby toolbox. “I quit. Some other sap might have taken my place in your bed, but it won’t be so easy for you to find another master carpenter to take my place on this job, lady.”

Ball breaker? Me? I stared after his retreating back, unaccustomed anger getting the better of me. “You never had a place in my bed, sweetie!” I called after him. “We did it on the floor and the kitchen table and in the shower, but we never actually made it to the bed, remember?”

“I think we’ll all remember now, sis.” I turned to see Megan standing behind me, her eyebrows raised and her arms folded across her chest. She was wearing a tight-fitting sleeveless top with slim black pants, and her shoes were Chanel ballet flats. Very retro–Audrey Hepburn, right up to and including the cropped Sabrina haircut she’d recently gotten. “Didn’t you used to handle breakups more…discreetly?” she asked.

I waved my hand airily. “Oh, pooh, Terry’s not a breakup, he was a lapse in judgment. Although he might have a point about finding someone to replace him on the job,” I admitted, my airiness fading.

“You should have thought about that before you did the floor and table and shower thing with him.” Tashya joined us. In contrast to Megan’s basic black, she was wearing a ribbon-belted Zac Posen bias-cut skirt topped with a cashmere shell in pale lemon that played up the strawberry-blond glints in her curls. In my bitchier moments I compare her to Shirley Temple, but most of the time I have to admit she looks like a Botticelli angel. She’d obviously entered the club with Megan but, being made of less stern stuff than a Daughter of Lilith, she’d been distracted by Ramon’s conga line of hotties. She cast a last, longing look at them. “Not that I’m complaining, but why do they have to drop their laundry to get a job here?”

“Because the staff uniform’s almost as revealing,” I told her. “Think Chippendale dancers. I want to be sure every male working at the new Hot Box is absolutely to-die-for from head to toe. Did I tell you about my idea to—”

“Kat, we didn’t come here to talk about your club,” Megan cut in. She frowned. “Although just as an aside, you’re surely not going to keep the name Hot Box, are you?”

Even a Daughter of Lilith could be distracted, it seemed, but distractability wasn’t a positive when it came in the repressive tone of voice Megan was using. I studied her, trying and failing to see the sister I’d grown up with—the one who’d rolled her eyes with me over Tash’s irritating whininess, giggled with me over how dumb but fascinating boys were and later snickered with me over how dumb but fascinating men were—who’d known all my secrets and told me all hers.

Sometime in the past two months, that sister had left me. She’d been replaced by the seriousfaced woman in front of me—a woman who’d sworn she wouldn’t let anything stand in the way of her hereditary mission to kill vampires.

I suddenly wished I’d made my cocktail a double. I looked at the pink froth rimming my empty glass and said the first thing that came into my head. “God, no.” I gave her a tiny smile. “I’ve decided to call the club The Vampire’s Kiss. Appropriate, yes?”

Megan’s gaze went flat. “Appropriate, no,” she said tersely. “Not to mention tasteless. In case you’ve forgotten, our mother gave her life in the fight against vampires.”

“And either Tash or I received the kiss of the same queen vamp who vanquished her,” I drawled. “Ever notice how we don’t talk about that much anymore, sis? Not since we learned you weren’t the one who got vamp-marked, anyway. I guess it’s a pretty delicate subject, though, with you feeling so honor-bound as a Daughter of Lilith to hunt down and stake any sister of yours who might suddenly turn undead on you.”

I expected a reaction from Megan, but I wasn’t prepared when Tash clamped a hand around my arm and pulled me a few feet away from the group of carpenters. She thrust her face into mine, her voice a furious whisper—furious but unnecessary, since Mr. Nail Gun was loudly at work again. “We don’t talk about it because it doesn’t matter anymore!” she hissed. “Megan killed the queen vamp, and when a vamp that’s bitten you dies before you make your own first kill as a vampire, you’re saved! You know that as well as we do, so either your memory loss is from all the alcohol you’ve been tossing back lately, or there really is something to the phrase ‘screwing your brains—’”

“Congratulations, Tash,” Megan ground out through gritted teeth. “We agreed before we came here that we weren’t going to handle this intervention like a confrontation, and that’s exactly what you’ve turned it into.”

“Intervention?” I stared from one to the other of them. Tash looked ashamed, as she always does when she knows she’s crossed the line. Megan looked upset, and just for a moment I saw my sister, not a Daughter of Lilith, behind her worried gaze. Then she nodded slowly.

“Someone has to make you see what you’re doing to yourself, Kat. As usual, Tash shot her mouth off without thinking, but she’s right. In the past few weeks you’ve gone from indulging in the occasional cocktail to downing them like water, and that scene we walked in on when we arrived just bears out the other part of what she said.”

“That I screw my brains out?” I asked with icy politeness. “Because at least I do it with men, sweetie. Tell me, have you bought a dog license for Mikhail yet?”

Megan paled. I waited for her to scream at me, to insult me back, to give me an angry shove, but what she did was worse than any of those things.

She turned and walked away from me.

“On the bitch-o-meter, that one rang the bell,” Tash said hotly, planting her hands on her hips and tossing back a red gold curl from her glaring blue eyes. “Mikhail might be able to shapeshift into a wolf, but that doesn’t make him one. And for your information, it’s not the number of men you’ve been seeing that has Meg worried, it’s the way you treat them.”

As if by some mysterious signal, the hammering that had been going on all day by the stage suddenly stopped. Then I realized that the signal hadn’t been mysterious at all; the clock behind the bar showed eight o’clock, which meant the crew had put in their agreed-to overtime. On the other side of the room, both Ramon and his conga line had gone, too.

I felt like a drink. I started to push past Tash, but she stepped in front of me.

“I don’t care if you don’t want to hear it, I’m going to say it anyway. You’ve always loved ’em and left ’em, sis, but now it’s different. Your carpenter boy-toy was right—you’ve turned into a ball breaker. You never spend more than one or two nights with the same man, and if they can’t be as casual as you are about it, you make sure you dump them as publicly and humiliatingly as possible. Megan says she can’t figure it out. It’s like you’ve got a hate on for all men. I agree. Only difference is, I have figured it out.”

“What an exciting new experience for you, sweetie,” I said acidly. “Now, if you don’t mind, I really must run.”

“This won’t take long.” Tash took a deep breath. “I know what’s been eating away at you since Megan killed Zena, and why you’ve been acting all ‘Girls Gone Wild’ lately and treating men like Kleenex. It’s because of what that queen bitch said about Dad just as Meg staked her—that he’d been one of her vamp servants and he’d betrayed Mom.” She bit her lip. “If that were true it would mean he betrayed us, too, in a way. We grew up on Grammie and Popsie’s stories about what a great son he was and how much he loved Mom and adored his darling baby daughters. When Zena realized she was going to hell, she saw how she could use our love for him as one final weapon against us, and that’s exactly what she did. But it wasn’t just a lie, it was a stupid lie, because Grandfather Darkheart saw our father’s dead body that night twenty years ago when Zena came for Mom and us. If Dad had been a vampyr, he’d have been dusted, not dead.”

Her words had tumbled out of her like a torrent. Now they abruptly dried up and her gaze burned into me.

I could have said a lot of things. I could have said that even if the son Grammie and Popsie remembered had once been as loving as they said, becoming a vamp would have changed him completely. I could have said that Grandfather Darkheart might well have lied about what he saw the night my mother died, to spare us pain. I could have said that it would be easy enough for a vampire to feign death to fool a desperate old man, and then to disappear into the night, never to be seen again.

I could have said any or all of these things, but seeing the shadowy fear lurking behind Tash’s china-doll blue gaze, I didn’t. I gave a little laugh.

“So touching of you to try out your pop psychology on me, darling, but guess what? I don’t have a Daddy complex or anything complicated like that. I like delicious men. I like having a cocktail or two. Is that simple enough for you, sweetie?”

Tash’s gaze hardened. “Go to hell, Kat.”

“Been there, done that, courtesy of Zena, remember?” I said with a sweet smile. “Or is my little sojourn in the hot place on the night we battled her and her vamp army just another one of those things we’re supposed to forget about?”

“I couldn’t if I wanted to,” Tash said tightly. “Because the woman who came back from there wasn’t my sister anymore.”

She spun on her heel, leaving me alone in the room. That’s when I walked out of the club and practically into the fangs of a vampire, the perfect finishing touch to a day that had turned completely to merde.