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“Why Did You Kiss Me That Way?” She Demanded.

“That way?” Seth asked. “Well, that particular kiss—number seven—just happens to be the best way I know how,” he quipped.

She didn’t alter her expression. “But why did you do it?”

“Why did you let me?”

She shook her head. “Don’t ever do that again.”

Seth inhaled a slow, steadying breath. “Then tell me, Prudence, what do you want? I seem to recall something of a personal nature that you needed to discuss with me—alone.”

“I want you…” Her voice trailed off.

Hope flickered inside Seth. “You want me?”

He arched an eyebrow quizzically.

“I mean—” She inhaled one more breath, and released it in a rush of words. “I want you—need you—to be my husband.”

Dear Reader,

Twenty years ago in May, the first Silhouette romance was published, and in 2000 we’re celebrating our 20^th anniversary all year long! Celebrate with us—and start with six powerful, passionate, provocative love stories from Silhouette Desire.

Elizabeth Bevarly offers a MAN OF THE MONTH so tempting that we decided to call it Dr. Irresistible! Enjoy this sexy tale about a single-mom nurse who enlists a handsome doctor to pose as her husband at her tenth high school reunion. The wonderful miniseries LONE STAR FAMILIES: THE LOGANS, by bestselling author Leanne Banks, continues with Expecting His Child, a sensual romance about a woman carrying the child of her family’s nemesis after a stolen night of passion.

Ever-talented Cindy Gerard returns to Desire with In His Loving Arms, in which a pregnant widow is reunited with the man who’s haunted her dreams for seven years. Sheikhs abound in Alexandra Sellers’ Sheikh’s Honor, a new addition to her dramatic miniseries SONS OF THE DESERT. The Desire theme promotion, THE BABY BANK, about women who find love unexpectedly when seeking sperm donors, continues with Metsy Hingle’s The Baby Bonus. And newcomer Kathie DeNosky makes her Desire debut with Did You Say Married?!, in which the heroine wakes up in Vegas next to a sexy cowboy who turns out to be her newly wed husband.

What a lineup! So this May, for Mother’s Day, why not treat your mom—and yourself—to all six of these highly sensual and emotional love stories from Silhouette Desire!

Enjoy!

Joan Marlow Golan

Senior Editor, Silhouette Desire

Dr. Irresistible
Elizabeth Bevarly

www.millsandboon.co.uk

For Eli,

my little guy,

who is truly irresistible.

ELIZABETH BEVARLY

is an honors graduate of the University of Louisville and achieved her dream of writing full-time before she even turned thirty! At heart, she is also an avid voyager who once helped navigate a friend’s thirty-five-foot sailboat across the Bermuda Triangle. Her dream is to one day have her own sailboat, a beautifully renovated older-model forty-two-footer, and to enjoy the freedom and tranquillity seafaring can bring. Elizabeth likes to think she has a lot in common with the characters she creates, people who know love and life go hand in hand. And she’s getting some firsthand experience with motherhood, as well—she and her husband have a six-year-old son, Eli.

Contents

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Epilogue

One

Dr. Seth Mahoney fingered the scalpel in his left hand gingerly, wondering where, exactly, to begin the incision he needed to make. The nurse standing beside him, who gazed over his shoulder, likewise pondered the heart that lay waiting for cutting, but she said nothing to inspire Seth’s decision. It was a tricky business, how to proceed, and there was an enormous amount of pressure on him to do this correctly. The happiness of more than a few people depended on the success of this operation.

For long moments he pondered his dilemma. Should he cut straight up and down? Or across the middle? Diagonally? If so, which way? From left auricle to right ventricle? Or from left ventricle to right auricle? And which ones were the auricles, anyway? Top or bottom? He always had gotten auricles and ventricles confused. And how many pieces was he supposed to cut the heart into again? He’d forgotten.

Finally, unable to decide how best to perform this particular procedure and, quite frankly, at his wit’s end, Seth muttered, “Ah, what the hell.” Then he curled his fist around the scalpel’s handle and, with one fierce jab, drove it deep into the center of the heart.

“Oh, nicely done, Dr. Mahoney,” the nurse beside him muttered wryly. “I bet you’re the kind of guy who runs with scissors, too, aren’t you?”

“Hey, cut me some slack, Renee,” he countered, spinning around to face her full-on. With much exasperation, he ran both hands through his pale-blond hair, then doubled them into fists on his Dockers-clad hips. “You act like this is such a big deal. I mean, jeez, it’s not brain surgery, you know.”

And of course he himself did know. He was one of New Jersey’s—hey, perhaps one of the nation’s—leading neurosurgeons. He just didn’t know squat about hearts, that was all.

Especially hearts made of cake.

“Congratulations on your engagement, Renee,” he muttered to the room at large. He left the scalpel where it lay, jutting garishly out of the blood-red icing. “I’m just so damned happy for you, I can’t stand it. Nor can I cut this cake. You guys are on your own.”

Hell, let everybody cut their own pieces, he thought. How was he supposed to get two dozen slices of equal size from such a strangely shaped confection, anyway? “Some of us have pulled double duty and would like to go home,” he continued irritably. “Now if you’ll excuse me…?”

As an afterthought he withdrew the scalpel, intent on returning it to the OR, from which he’d filched it in the first place. But before he could even complete one step toward the exit, the entreaties began in earnest.

“Oh, come on, Dr. Mahoney,” a collection of voices cajoled. Nurses, doctors and orderlies alike begged his forgiveness and urged him to stay.

“We’re sorry, Seth…”

“We didn’t mean it…”

“We were just kidding…”

“We’ll let you have the biggest piece…”

“You’re the only one who knows how to do this right…”

“We need that scalpel—we couldn’t find a knife…”

But their gentle wheedling did little to soothe him. He was tired, he was irritable, he’d had a rotten day and he wanted to go home. The last thing he wanted to do was join his colleagues in a party to celebrate the upcoming marriage of one of their own. It was just too fitting a Friday punctuation mark for what had been a lousy week.

Nothing had seemed to go right today. Nothing. His BMW roadster had made funny noises all the way to work this morning, and he—he, Dr. Seth Mahoney, ace mechanic—couldn’t for the life of him figure out what was wrong with it. He’d been drenched by rain as he’d sprinted from the parking lot to the hospital, because he—he, Dr. Seth Mahoney, mind like a steel trap—had forgotten his umbrella. And as he’d changed into his scrubs, he’d realized that he—he, Dr. Seth Mahoney, sartorial wonder—was wearing one black sock and one gray sock.

Fortunately Mrs. Hammelman’s surgery had gone well. He was, after all, one of New Jersey’s—hey, perhaps one of the nation’s—leading neurosurgeons. But everything else that day had been a mess. The cafeteria had been out of club sandwiches by the time he’d found a minute to grab lunch. The soda machine had been out of Orange Crush when he’d gone on a break. Then the ATM in the lobby had told him that he—he, Dr. Seth Mahoney, financial wizard—was overdrawn a full $3.86. And he’d had a pounding headache for the past three hours that simply would not be assuaged.

And to top it all off it was Friday, and he—he, Dr. Seth Mahoney, object of many a woman’s desire—did not have a date.

He didn’t have a date, he marveled for perhaps the hundredth time. How on earth could such a thing have happened?

By now he’d had enough of the hospital and its denizens, and he wanted to go home. Home, where he could kick off his shoes, and his mismatched socks, fix himself a club sandwich—which would be better than the hospital’s, anyway—open an Orange Crush, and call the bank to yell at someone about his ridiculous, and certainly nonexistent, overdraft.

Of course, the date part was going to be something of a problem, he mused sullenly. He couldn’t think of anyone else to ask out—no one who would say yes, at any rate—and he wasn’t much for inflatable women. Then again, the way today had been going, he was sorely tempted to—

The thought never fully materialized in his brain, thanks to the woman who breezed into the room just then. He couldn’t quite curb the soft smile he felt curling his lips when he noted her arrival. Prudence Holloway, the most bewitching, bothering and bewildering woman he had ever had the dubious good fortune to encounter. And the most inappropriately named, too, he recalled, his smile growing broader.

Prudence, he thought. What had her parents been thinking?

Well, well, well. Maybe he didn’t have to beat such a hasty retreat just yet.

“Hi, everybody,” she said breathlessly to the room at large.

She raked a restive hand through the mop of dark-auburn curls that danced atop her head with the rush of her movements. Although he had always been partial to long hair on women, somehow Seth was grateful that Prudence’s unruly tresses weren’t quite lengthy enough to cover her nape. She had a nice neck. Among other things.

Inescapably, his gaze fell to the top half of the shapeless, raspberry-colored nurse’s scrubs. Although he had no foundation for his suspicions—God knew Prudence wouldn’t let him get within arm’s reach of her, more’s the pity—he was fairly certain that the baggy garment hid some truly spectacular and decidedly dangerous curves.

The only time he’d seen her out of her scrubs, she’d been in something else—more’s the pity—namely maternity clothes, generally made out of some awful awning-like fabric and decorated with bows and frippery that no self-respecting woman would dare don when she was unpregnant. Prudence had been huge, unwieldy and irascible during her pregnancy, Seth recalled wistfully. And during that entire nine-month span, he’d been even more enchanted by her than ever. Because Prudence Holloway was just too adorable to ever be anything but…well…adorable.

Ever since he’d come to work at Seton General Hospital two years ago, Seth had been utterly enraptured by Nurse Prudence Holloway. Why? He had no idea. Maybe because her pale-green eyes were so expressive and held no secrets. Maybe because her lush mouth, whether smiling or frowning, open or closed, could incite a man to commit mayhem. Maybe because he had noticed right off that she had a wry sense of humor and quick wit. Maybe because she had been so huge and irascible during her pregnancy. He hated to say it, but she was just so damned cute when she was angry.

Or maybe it was just because, even when she wasn’t pregnant, she continued to be, if not huge, then certainly irascible. At least around Seth. And he simply was not accustomed to having women respond to him in a way that was anything but enraptured. Even complete strangers succumbed to his abundant charm. Prudence, however, had been anything but charmed by him. Even after two years, her resolve to avoid and deter him had eroded not one iota.

Two years ago Seth had assured himself that her less-than-eager response to his more-than-obvious allure had resulted from the fact that she was seeing someone. She’d been blinded—who knows why, when she could have had Seth?—by some geek named Kevin who had worked as a pump jockey in a less-than-profitable filling station.

And then, after that relationship had fizzled, and Prudence continued to avoid Seth, he had excused her disinterest in his none-too-subtle advances as being due to her delicate condition. Because she was out of sorts and uncomfortable in her pregnant state, and romance was understandably the last thing on her mind. He’d even thought her lack of response might be because she was still carrying a torch for that geek Kevin—though such a commitment to a man hadn’t kept other women from succumbing to Seth before. On many occasions.

Not that he would ever pursue a married woman, of course. He simply never felt hindered in his flirtations by a woman’s marital state. Or her background. Or her foreground. Or her middle ground. Or her age, race, creed, color, species or planetary origin. And he saw no harm in engaging in the occasional flip comment whenever there was a beautiful woman around.

And naturally, to Seth, all women fell into that beautiful category. And he—he, Dr. Seth Mahoney, lover of women—was simply predisposed to flirting with anything that produced estrogen. Prudence Holloway was no exception.

Except…

Except that Seth couldn’t seem to stop flirting with her, even though she’d made it more than clear over the past two years that she did not intend to indulge his efforts. And that was something he simply could not understand. Because, simply put, there was no Mr. Prudence Holloway. Nor did there seem to be a Mr. Prudence Holloway in training anywhere. And her obviously—and adamantly—single status was something that only fueled Seth’s, oh…idle curiosity about the nurse.

And it had naturally caused him to pump up the volume on his flirtations, too. He’d even ventured to ask her out once or twice—or fifty-seven times, but then, who was counting? But she’d always declined. Politely at first, then with more gusto. He supposed it had been the time he’d dropped onto his knees before her in the OR and begged her to go out with him that had promoted the gusto on her part, but still…

The least she could do was return his flirtations, even if she had no interest in carrying through with them. Hey, any other nurse would do the same. It was only polite. But not Prudence. Noooo. She constantly rebuffed him.

Him. Dr. Seth Mahoney. Dr. Irresistible.

How could she do such a thing?

In the long run Seth had finally given up asking her out, when it became clear that she would never, ever, not in a million billion trillion zillion years, not if he was the last man on the planet, dead or alive, go out with him. He knew that, because she’d told him that. In exactly those words. And the fact that he—he, Dr. Seth Mahoney, a prince among men—had failed in his quest to curry fair Prudence’s favor did not sit well with him at all.

Still, he no longer asked her out. But he hadn’t stopped his entirely one-sided and unreturned flirting. Nor had he stopped fantasizing about her during his off hours. Or during his on hours, for that matter. Like right now, for instance. As his thoughts drifted off to the sublime, Prudence tossed a Tupperware container full of what appeared to be…springerlies, if Seth wasn’t mistaken…onto the table with the other baked goods that each member of the neurology unit had brought for today’s party to celebrate their co-worker’s engagement.

Unfortunately, Prudence being Prudence, she put just a little too much effort into the action, something that resulted in sending the container careering down the entire length of the table. Not just that, but it ricocheted off every other container in its way, and sent nearly half of them tumbling over the edge of the table before falling and spilling open itself.

Yep, springerlies for sure, Seth thought as they went skittering across the floor. Broken springerlies now. Broken springerlies with, he noted further, black, burned-to-a-crisp bottoms.

What had her parents been thinking when they named her Prudence?

She didn’t even seem to notice what had happened, so automatic were her gestures as she went to clean up the mess. Then again, Seth thought, this was pretty much standard procedure for her, from what he’d witnessed in the past, so it was really no surprise that she found this to be no surprise.

“I’m sorry I’m so late,” she said as she collected crushed cookies from the floor, speaking, evidently, to both nobody and everybody in the room. “Tanner was so into the separation thing today. I didn’t think I’d ever get away from the day-care center.”

Tanner, Seth knew, was Prudence’s nine-month-old son, whose acquaintance he had first made when the lad was all of ten hours old. Although Seth worked in neurology, he often spent his breaks and lunch hours in the hospital nursery, not just to cozy up to the neonatal nurses—who were notoriously, in a word, hot—but also to cozy up to their infant charges—who were notoriously, in a word, adorable.

To put it mildly, Seth had a real soft spot for kids. Someday he hoped to have one or two—or ten—of his own. And now, at the ripe old age of thirty-three, he was beginning to think seriously about the whole family thing. The problem was, biologically speaking, anyway, he himself didn’t have all the necessary equipment for creating a family. In addition to a womb, he was going to need a second set of chromosomes for everything to work out the way it was supposed to work out. And so far he just hadn’t met the right second set of chromosomes. Or the right womb, for that matter.

And lately he was beginning to think he never would.

For some reason that thought sent his gaze bouncing from the top half of Prudence’s scrubs to the bottom half, which was currently sticking out from beneath the table as she reached for the last of the broken cookies. Yep. Nice curves indeed. Nice, round, lush, fertile curves, he couldn’t help but notice. And he’d seen her with her son on a number of occasions. A more loving woman didn’t exist anywhere in this universe.

Well, loving toward her son, at any rate, he amended. Where men were concerned, however, Prudence was considerably more…prudent. These days, at least. There had been a time, however, when… Well. Tanner was a pretty good indicator of Prudence’s past where men were concerned. Still, she seemed to have learned her lesson there. Because she definitely kept her distance from the male half of the population these days. Much to Seth’s unrelenting frustration.

“So the little tike was out of sorts today was he?” Seth asked as he approached her, knowing beforehand that she would respond to his query with a brittle smile.

Ah. Bingo. There it was now. As she backed herself out from under the table, she threw that smile over her shoulder at him, and wham. It hit its mark perfectly. Then there was another wham, but this time it was Prudence’s head hitting the edge of the table as she tried to rise to standing.

“Ow,” Seth said. “That had to hurt.” Again, what had her parents been thinking?

Since the observation really required no comment, Prudence offered none. Instead, she finally pushed herself to standing and rubbed lightly at the crown of her head. But all she said was, “Yes. Tanner was out of sorts today. But it’s not at all unusual for babies of nine months to go through separation anxiety like that,” she added in the voice of experience.

“I don’t doubt it for a moment,” Seth concurred jovially. “It’s not unusual for men of thirty-three, either.” There. Let her make what she would of that.

What she made, he noted, was a funny little squinting type of face, an expression that made him smile. God, she was cute. And she really did have a nice neck. But she said nothing to demand clarification for his comment. Which was just as well, because he wasn’t sure he wanted to clarify it—either to her, or to himself.

So instead he returned his attention to the heart-shaped cake on the table before him. Fine. He had the last scalpel available. It was nice to know he was wanted for some- thing. Impulsively he decided that he would cut the cake—and idly ogle Prudence—stay long enough to consume a piece himself—and idly ogle Prudence—then he’d go home to lick his wounds—and idly fantasize about Prudence.

Carefully he bisected the confection from north to south and east to west, not worrying about whether the sizes were consistent. Everyone present in the break room was a medical professional, he reminded himself. Surely they could manage these small discrepancies without resorting to fisticuffs.

After completing his task, Seth filled a plate with several of the homemade delicacies that constituted the celebratory buffet, then wasn’t much surprised to find himself standing near—gosh, what do you know?—Prudence.

He always gravitated toward her, no matter where either of them happened to be. It was some kind of strange torture game he played with himself. He didn’t for a moment understand his fascination with her, nor did he pursue it these days—not with any real enthusiasm. Not in any way that she would notice, at any rate. Nor in any way that anyone else would notice, either, for that matter.

At least, he hoped nobody else noticed. It would be so embarrassing to be thought of as pathetic. Even if pathetic was exactly the way he felt around Prudence Holloway. Even if pathetic was how he was beginning to think he was destined to be.

Though Seth never lacked for feminine companionship—well, never except today, he reminded himself morosely—the companionship with which he usually found himself generally left him reluctant to continue the relationship for very long. These days it seemed as though his temporary relationships were growing more and more temporary and he was feeling less and less satisfaction from them. Why that might be he couldn’t possibly say. But there was no question that it was getting harder and harder to feel fulfilled in his personal life.

Not to be misconstrued, however—Seth did like women, very much. All women, in fact. And until he’d met Prudence, until he’d spent time with her—most of it indulging in good-natured sparring—he’d been perfectly content with the variety of his social life. But lately, for…oh, about the past two years…the variety he had once found so enjoyable was somehow beginning to lose its appeal.

Living his life day by day, and woman by woman, had all been well and good for a while—actually, it had been all very good—but there was a restlessness rising in Seth of late that he would just as soon quell. Mainly because he suspected that it was a restlessness born of the desire to settle down. And settling down wouldn’t be a problem, except for the fact that he didn’t think he could manage it. He was socially gregarious by nature, and he had the attention span of a rabid badger. He wasn’t sure he’d be good in a family situation, in spite of his affinity for children. He just wasn’t a one-woman man.

He reminded himself that he was only thirty-three, that he still had plenty of years left before he was so doddering that he wouldn’t be able to bounce a baby on his knee. Then he remembered that at thirty-three most men were at least attached to someone special. Hell, even his best friend, Reed Atchison, whom Seth had never thought to see attached, had recently married. Now he and his wife, Mindy, were expecting the arrival of their first child any minute.

Without meaning to, Seth let his gaze wander over to Prudence once again. She really was lovely, he thought. And she was a warm, witty, gentle woman—with others, at any rate, in spite of her prickliness where he was concerned. He just wished he could understand why she wanted nothing to do with him. And then for some reason—probably because after the day he’d had he was spoiling for a fight—Seth decided to find out.

“So, Prudence,” he began, heedless of the fact that he was interrupting her conversation with another nurse. “You’re pulling second shift on a Friday. How did that happen? Won’t it play havoc with your plans for a romantic evening?”

With obvious reluctance she turned to face him, her expression one of unmistakable, and perfectly expected, annoyance. “Not that it’s any of your business,” she began lightly, “but I don’t have any plans for a romantic evening.”

“How shocking,” Seth remarked.

“Ramona needed the night off, and I was available,” Prudence said with finality.

“You’re never available for me,” he pointed out, loving the way her mouth tightened into a disapproving little moue at his comment. Oh, she was soooo transparent. She wanted him. He was—almost—sure of it.

She narrowed her eyes at him. “There’s a good reason for that,” she said.

“But you’ve never seen fit to tell me what it is.”

She shrugged, but there wasn’t an ounce of carelessness in the gesture. “I figure you’re a big boy, a smart guy. You have a college degree, and—”

“Three of them, actually,” Seth supplied helpfully, holding up his left hand with that many fingers to punctuate the claim.

“—and I knew you could figure it out for yourself,” she finished, ignoring his interjection.

He pressed his index finger against his cheek and, for a moment, feigned deep consideration. Then, after a moment, he told her, “Nope. Sorry. Can’t figure it out. You’ll just have to spell it out for me.”

She smiled mildly at him, but there was no warmth in the gesture. Seth could tell, because the temperature in the room seemed to drop twenty degrees at least as she completed it. “Gosh, then I guess you’re just not the big Mr. Know-It-All you thought you were, are you?”

Seth sniffed indignantly. “Hey, that’s Dr. Know-It-All to you, Prudence,” he countered.

“And that’s Ms. Holloway, to you, Dr. Know-It-All.”

He sidled up closer to her, mainly because he knew it bugged the hell out of her whenever he sidled in her presence. But for every step he took toward her, she took a step back. The nurse with whom she’d been conversing seemed to sense that her presence was no longer noticed, and slipped off nearly undetected. Seth braved another small step toward Prudence, and she, in turn, claimed another giant step in retreat. Doing so, however, rather impeded her progress, because it left her flat against the wall, just inches from a corner that effectively closed the trap.

Such an imprudent move on her part, Seth thought.

He smiled his most predatory smile, set down his plate of goodies and covered what little distance between them remained. Then he flattened one palm against the wall near her head and opened the other on the wall at his shoulder level. At last, he thought, he had fair Prudence where he wanted her.

Now if he could just get rid of the dozen other people present, maybe he could coax her around to his way of thinking. His way of thinking being, of course, that the two of them belonged together. Preferably close together. Preferably naked. Preferably horizontal. Though there was a lot to be said for vertical, too….

“You know,” he murmured smoothly, bringing his face closer to hers—no easy feat, seeing as how she stood a good eight inches shorter than he. “A lot of the nurses here—a lot of the doctors, too—call me something other than Dr. Know-It-All.”

“Do tell,” she remarked dryly.

She almost convinced him that she was completely unmoved by his nearness, but Seth, ever vigilant, had noted the way the pulse at the base of her throat had quickened when he drew closer. Now he noted further that, currently, that pulse was pretty much dancing a samba. He also saw that her cheeks had warmed to pink, that her eyelids were lowering over darkly passionate eyes, and that her lips had parted in faint—but undeniable—desire.

Well, well, well, what have we here? he wondered. He hadn’t had a chemistry lesson like this since he was an undergrad. Who knew?

He inhaled a slow, deep breath, then released it leisurely, intentionally fanning the bare skin of her throat when he did. Again her pulse jumped, and her pupils dilated to nearly eclipse the pale green of her irises. Oh, she did have lovely eyes, he thought. Lovely, radiant, passionate eyes.

Eyes that held no secrets.

And for the first time in two years, Seth began to realize that Prudence wasn’t quite as unaffected by him as she tried to let on. Now if he could just get her to admit that to herself….

“No, what they call me behind my back,” he said softly, “is Dr…. Irresistible. Of course, I myself,” he hastily qualified, “much prefer Dr. Irrepressible, which, to my way of thinking, suits me much better. Dr. Irresistible is just a tad forward, don’t you think? I would never presume to be irresistible. Even if,” he couldn’t quite stop himself from adding, “many women do find me just that.”

Prudence expelled a sound that was decidedly unimpressed. But her pulse still jumped, and her eyes still grew dangerously dark. “Yeah, and some of them,” she said, just a little shakily, Seth noticed, “me included, call you Dr.—”

Quickly, he moved one hand to her hair, skimming his palm deftly over the dark curls in an effort to unbalance her and to cut off whatever she had been about to say. And, he might as well just admit it, because it was something he’d been wanting to do for a long, long time.

“—Insufferable,” she finished, anyway, jerking her head to the side in an effort to end his soft caress. “They—and I—call you Dr. Insufferable.”

Well, this was news to Seth. No one, absolutely no one—no one of the feminine persuasion, at any rate—found him insufferable. Inspirational, impressive, incomparable, intrepid, sure. And of course, irresistible. And okay, maybe impertinent, impetuous, irreverent and incorrigible, on occasion. But insufferable? Him? No way. That was…inconceivable.

Seth shook his head—imperceptibly—and forced himself to turn the page in his mental thesaurus. Unfortunately, moving from the letter I just landed him with a bunch of J words—jerk, jester, juvenile, for example—which were no help at all. So he turned his attention back to the matter at hand.