Читать книгу: «When I'm With You»

Chapter 1

“Your sisters are planning our wedding,” Avery said as she loaded the dishwasher.

Rafe handed her the glasses from the table. “Yeah, they can be a bit enthusiastic,” he said chuckling. He came up behind her, bent over her body and grabbed her waist. “The main thing is we’re going to be legal, official, permanent.”

Avery straightened and turned to face him, leaned against the dishwasher. She looked into his eyes, and as always a flood of heat flowed through her. Being in the same air space with Rafe always did that to her, made her hungry for him, weak to his will. But this was her wedding, her day. She splayed her hands against his chest. “Look, babe, I know it’s your family, and I don’t want to cause any rifts, but...I need some space.”

Rafe’s simmering gaze slowly moved over her face, the way it did whenever he was trying to see beneath the surface of her words. She shifted her weight under his close scrutiny.

“I’ll talk to them, okay,” he said softly.

Avery pressed her lips together and nodded her head.

“Come ’ere.” He pulled her tight against him. “All I want is for you to be happy. Just tell me what you want and I’ll make it happen.”

Avery rested her head against his chest, soothed by the steady beat of his heart. Her temple suddenly pounded and a flash of sharp pain shot across her eyes. Her body tensed.

Rafe eased back and looked down at her taut expression. “You okay? Another headache?” He stroked her cheek.

Avery let out a slow breath. “A little. It’ll pass.”

Since the explosion in Paris and the concussion she sustained when she’d rescued Rafe’s father, she’d intermittently suffered from mild to severe headaches. The doctors assured her that they would lessen and then eventually disappear with time.

“Maybe we need to get the doctor to run some more tests.”

“No.” She shook her head. “It’s only been a little over two months.”

“Yes, but you go back to work next week. The doctor has to clear you. You have to be on your A-game, darlin’. You said so yourself.”

She leaned up and kissed his lips. “And I will be.” There was no way she would see any doctors and tell them what was really going on with her. They’d never clear her to return to duty. And if so it would be desk duty. She did not work her way up the ranks of the Secret Service to sit behind a desk. Plus, she was up for promotion. No way would she blow it. Two Advil. End of story. “I’m fine.” She turned the dial on the dishwasher and it hummed to life. Another morning of domesticity.

After leaving Paris, Rafe took Avery to the Lawson compound to recuperate from her injuries before returning to Avery’s place in Washington, DC. Rafe easily made her townhouse his second home. Their pseudo “living together” arrangement was easier than she’d imagined.

They were a natural fit with each other, as if living under the same roof was something they’d always done. Rafe was attentive, but gave her space. He possessed chef-like skills in the kitchen, a penchant for neatness—she never had to step over discarded clothing, or clean up after a meal—and above all he was a master in the bedroom who made her see heaven on a regular basis. This man was going to be her husband. Sometimes when she looked at him or held him tight between her thighs, she couldn’t believe that Rafe Lawson was hers. What she wanted was just the two of them, but marrying Rafe was marrying his large, controlling family.

“You sure you’ll be okay until I get back from ’Nawlins?” He wiped off the countertop with a damp cloth.

She shimmied onto the barstool at the island counter and extended her hands to Rafe. He took two long steps and was in front of her. He raised her hands to his lips and kissed the insides of her palms.

“I’ll be fine, and right here when you get back.” She leaned in to kiss him.

“Hmm, I can change my plans,” he said against her cheek, “and stay here, which is what I’d rather do.” He caressed her hips.

Avery giggled. “Me, too, but you’ve been gone long enough. Take care of your business.”

He stepped deep between her legs. “Business can wait.” He threaded his fingers through the hair at the nape of her neck, dipped his head and kissed her collarbone.

Avery sucked in a breath of desire and instinctively tightened her legs around him. “You’re going to be late,” she whispered.

He brushed his lips along her neck, nibbled the lobe of her ear. “Privilege is the perk of owning your own plane. Can’t leave without me.” He covered her lips with his and drew her tongue into his mouth.

Avery untied the belt on her robe and then looped her arms around his neck. “Thank you for perks,” she said, as Rafe lifted her from the stool. She wrapped her legs around his waist while he walked them into her bedroom.

Rafe eased her down on the bed and braced his weight above her. “Say the word, darlin’,” he whispered in her ear while he stroked her hip and then lifted her left thigh and draped it over his arm, “and I’ll stay.” He nuzzled her neck, dipped his head down to suckle the peaks of her breasts.

Her heart raced. “Rafe...” she moaned.

“Tell me what you want.” He slid his hands beneath her and pushed deep inside.

“Ahhh...” She clung to him. “You...only you.”

“You got me. Always,” he said from between his teeth and let his body prove it.

* * *

“I can drive you to the airport,” Avery dreamily offered as she stretched her naked body beneath the twisted pale blue sheets.

Rafe glanced over his shoulder, lifted the sheet and peeked underneath. “Naw, darlin’, this is how I want to remember you while I’m gone.” He lightly swatted her lush bottom and pushed up off the bed. “Gonna shower and dress. Want anything while I’m up?”

“Hmm,” she moaned. “Nope.” She tugged the sheet up to her chin and closed her eyes.

Rafe chuckled and padded off to the bathroom.

Avery distantly heard the rush of shower water, soon followed by Rafe’s rendition of The Temptations’ “My Girl.” She smiled and burrowed into the overstuffed pillow. How would she manage without Rafe? They spent their days talking, debating, laughing, investing in each other’s happiness, and their nights consummating their love. This would be the first time they’d be apart...since Paris...

The scent of smoke filled her nostrils. Her heart raced. Blackness. Screams. Pain. Sirens. The sheets clung to her damp body. Sinking. She was sinking. Falling. Had to get out.

“Avery!” Rafe gently clasped her shoulder and sat next to her on the bed. “Cher...”

Her eyes flew open. Her body trembled.

Rafe gathered her up in his arms. “Sssh, just a dream, cher.” He rocked and held her until the shaking stopped.

“I’m ok-aay.” She forced a smile and pushed her damp hair away from her face.

“No, you’re not. And I’m not going anywhere. Not leaving you.”

Avery pushed herself into a sitting position. “I’m fine, Rafe. Really. Just a dream—like you said. The doctors said to expect flashbacks. That’s all it was. Period.” She took his face in her hands. “If it will make you feel better, I’ll ask Kerry to stay over until you get back.”

A deep line etched itself between sleek, dark brows. “No. Kerry has to work. You’ll be alone all day.”

“Rafe, it’s just a headache and some bad dreams. I’m not an invalid.”

“I’ll go on one condition only.” He looked hard into her eyes.

She folded her arms and pouted. “What?”

“You stay at my house in Arlington. Alice is there. She can get you whatever you need, keep you company.”

“You mean keep tabs on me,” she said with an arched brow.

“Well, yeah. That, too,” he conceded with that slow smile.

Avery huffed, pondered the offer. “Okay. If that’s what it’s gonna take to get you on that plane.”

“That’s exactly what it’s gonna take. I’ll call and let Alice know to stock up. Make a list of anything special you want and I’ll let her know.” He pointed a finger at her. “List. Pack.” He winked and then turned to get his clothes and dress.

By the time he’d finished dressing, Avery was ready to get into the shower. She’d left a list on the bed. Rafe grinned. Martini mix and taco fixings. He placed a call to Alice and let her know company was coming. Alice was delighted that Avery would be staying at the house and promised to take great care of her while he was gone.

“Got everything?” Rafe asked while he carried her bag to the door.

Avery stood in the middle of her living room and took a slow, deliberate look around. She drew in a deep breath. Every move that she’d made since she graduated high school was to establish independence. After she lost her mother in her teens and spent almost the next decade eating her way through life, before she hit her own near-life-or-death moment, she finally turned all her energy into gaining control over every aspect of her life—from healthy eating to religiously exercising, to a laser focus on rising up the ranks of the Secret Service. She cherished the life that she’d built for herself, by herself, even as her father worked tirelessly to keep her reined in.

This packing up and going to stay at Rafe’s place, under his direction, went against every instinct of self-preservation that she had. She gritted her teeth. “I think so,” she finally said. She hiked her oversize zebra-print tote over her shoulder, snatched up her keys from the table by the door and walked out. “What about my car?”

Rafe opened the passenger door to his Navigator and froze when he caught the look of panic in her eyes. He cupped her cheeks in his hands. “Cher,” he crooned, “we’ll take your car if you want, and leave mine here. I’ll take a cab to the airfield.”

The burn of tears threatened to spill. She blinked rapidly and nodded in agreement. “Thank you,” she whispered.

He leaned down and gently kissed her lips. “I know, darlin’,” he said in his easy drawl. “This isn’t what you want. But I promise, it’s going to be all right. Trust me.” He lifted her chin and looked into her eyes. “Trust me.”

Avery swallowed over the dry knot in her throat. “I do.”

“Good.” He shut the passenger door of his Navigator, took her keys, walked around and opened her car door.

Avery tossed her tote on the back seat while Rafe stowed her bags in the trunk and then got in behind the wheel.

“Listen...” He buckled his seat belt. “I know you crave your space.” He reached across the gearshift and took her hand. “All I want is to make sure you’re okay. That you’re safe. I’d make myself crazy in ’Nawlins worrying about you. I want to take care of you, cher. Let me,” he added gently.

Avery leaned in and lightly kissed him. “I know...thank you...really.”

He gave her a reflective look as he caressed her chin with his thumb. Then he turned the key in the ignition and pulled off.

* * *

Less than an hour later, Rafe eased Avery’s car down the driveway of his Arlington, Virginia, home. He shut off the engine, just as Alice pulled the front door open and stepped out. She hurried over to the car.

“Mr. Rafe. So good to have you home. And Ms. Avery.” She wrapped her arms around Avery in a motherly hug and buzzed her cheek with a kiss. “Come, come. Let’s get you settled. Are you hungry?”

Avery giggled. “I’m fine, Alice. Thanks.”

“I have everything all prepared. You can stay in the guest room, or Mr. Rafe’s room,” she added with a wink and then led them inside. “And I made a tray of snacks just in case,” she tossed over her shoulder.

Rafe glanced at Avery. The smile on her face eased the knot of tension in his gut. He slid an arm around her waist and they walked inside.

* * *

Avery held Rafe’s hand that rested on her hip. “Thank you for this,” she said.

“Nothing to thank me for.” He squeezed her hip. “I want you to be taken care of. Anything you need, let Alice know.” He grinned. “She loves taking care of people.”

“Your car is here!” Alice called out.

“See.” He grinned and kissed her forehead. “Sorry, darlin’. I need to get going. Want to beat this weather.”

Avery looped her arm through his, and they walked out of his bedroom, downstairs and out to the car that waited to take him to the airport.

“I’ll call you when I get in.”

“Fly safe.”

“Always.” He kissed her lightly. “Love you.” He glanced past her toward the house. “Take care of my woman,” he called out to Alice, who stood on the front steps. He gave Avery one last hug. “Call you tonight.”

Avery nodded and stepped back as he got in the car, before taking a quick look at the overcast sky.

The car door slammed, and the car slowly eased down the driveway and out to the street. Avery felt a rush of emptiness open inside her. A warm arm slid around her shoulders and held her close. Alice smiled knowingly up at her.

“Mr. Rafe will be fine, and back before you know it. Come inside. You must try my jambalaya! Just a little taste,” she teased with a sparkle in her eyes.

“I’d love some.”

* * *

“Oh. My. God. This is sooo good,” Avery gushed, finishing off another mouthful.

Alice beamed. “Have as much as you like. There’s plenty.” She pulled out a chair and sat opposite Avery at the circular wrought-iron and reclaimed-wood table.

“I am so happy that Mr. Rafe finally settled down.”

Avery glanced up from beneath her lashes.

“His heart was so broken...after Janae.” She slowly shook her head. “I didn’t think he would ever be the same.” She turned her palms up. “And he’s not,” she said succinctly. “He’s better.” She wagged a finger at Avery. “Because of you.”

“What...was he like after...”

Alice’s open expression grew somber. Her brows tightened. She spread her palms down on the table. “Rafe was always a little wild and reckless, especially with that motorcycle of his. But after Janae, whatever piece of himself that kept him halfway grounded broke. On the outside, he was the same—that easy smile, the charm, the chivalry. But there was a darkness that settled inside him. He took crazy chances, went from relationship to relationship, in constant conflict with his father—more than usual. I was afraid for him. Every time he got behind the wheel, or on that bike or up in that plane of his, I prayed.” She made a quick sign of the cross. “Because I knew, under that smile, he didn’t care about his own life anymore.”

“I had no idea,” she murmured.

“I’d been with the family for years, but when Rafe decided to take over this house, I came here. He needed someone to look after him since he wasn’t going to look after himself. Back in ’Nawlins, he has his sisters and brother.”

“The move had to be hard on you.”

“I’ve been taking care of Mr. Rafe and his family since they were running around in shorts. He’s like a son to me.” She lowered her voice as if she feared being overheard. “Always was my favorite.” She winked.

Avery grinned.

“Then he met you and the light came back to his eyes. His laughter is real again and that...thing that drove him to be so reckless seems to have stepped into the background. He wants to be around for you.”

Avery’s throat tightened. “How’d you know I needed to hear this today?”

Alice patted Avery’s fisted hand. “I haven’t spent half my life taking care of people without being able to spot need in someone.”

“I’m glad he has you in his life.”

Alice pushed up to her feet. “Now that you’re part of the family, I’ll be looking after you, too. And I think you could use a hot bath, a fluffy robe and a good movie.”

Avery tossed her head back and laughed. “You read my mind. Alice, can I ask you something?”

“Of course.” She collected the plates.

“How do I get Dominique, Desiree and Lee Ann to...let me have my own wedding?”

Alice pursed her lips. “Hmm, those three sisters together are like a hurricane, with Dominique at the center of the storm.” She turned on the faucet in the sink, rinsed the plates and put them in the dishwasher. “They adore their brother, and they’re so thrilled that he’s happy again—they want to orchestrate every detail of the occasion for him.” She dried her hands on a black-and-white striped towel, blew out a breath. “One piece of advice I can offer, you don’t want to get in between Rafe and his sisters. If what they’re doing is too much, talk to them. Make sure you’re part of the plans and decisions. All of you women love him, so do it together.”

Avery bobbed her head. “Thanks.” She got up. “In the meantime, I’m going to take your advice and sit in a hot tub for a while.”

Avery went upstairs. She searched the cabinet beneath the sink and located the bath beads that she’d brought over the last time she was here. She poured a handful into the water rushing into the tub from the jets. Although she took a shower earlier, the bath would be therapeutic. Almost immediately the scent of soothing lavender filled the room. She stripped out of her clothes, turned off the faucets and sank into the steamy, scented water.

Every muscle sighed in pleasure. She leaned her head back against the lip of the tub and closed her eyes. Alice’s words of advice played softly. She didn’t have the time or opportunity to go down to Louisiana to do a face-to-face with Rafe’s sisters. She’d figure something out. She’d find a way to get them to accept that it was time to let Rafe go and that she would be part of his life and their family.