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Chapter One

‘OH, DR TREMAYNE, Kate left this for you.’

Nick stopped by the reception desk and took the sealed envelope from Sue, glancing at it in puzzlement. How odd…

‘Is she still here?’

‘Yes, I think so, but she’s about to go. She has to pick Jem up from holiday club. Do you want me to find her?’

‘No, it’s OK.’ He gave the envelope another glance, and with a curt nod to his patients as he passed them, he went into his room, closed the door and slit the flap open with his forefinger as he dropped into his chair behind the desk.

He drew out a single sheet, handwritten in her elegant, decisive script, and as he smoothed it out with the flat of his hand he stared at it in disbelief.

Monday 12 April

Dear Nick,

I’ve written to the PCT, and will tell Chloe and all my other colleagues and friends over the next few days, but I wanted you to know first that I’ve decided to leave Penhally and my post here as midwife. I’m putting my house on the market and Jem and I will move away from here over the summer, in time for him to start secondary school in September. It’s the right time to go, as far as his education is concerned, and I thought we could move closer to my mother in Bristol.

I’ll miss the practice and all the people in it, but it’s time for us to move on. There’s nothing here for me any more.

I would just like to thank you for all the support and kindness you’ve shown to me over the years.

Yours,

Kate

Stunned, Nick scanned the letter again. She couldn’t leave. Where the hell did she think she was going? And taking Jem away…

He pushed back his chair and crossed to the window, pressing his hand against the cold glass and staring out numbly at the sudden squall that had sprung up. The rain was streaming down the pane in torrents, bouncing off the roofs of the cars outside, and people were running for cover.

Including Kate. She wrenched open her car door, and as she got in her head lifted and she met his eyes, holding them for a moment through the lashing rain, then with a tiny shake of her head she slammed the door, started the engine and drove away, leaving him staring after her.

He sucked in a harsh, juddering breath and turned on his heel, moving away from the window before he put his fist through it in frustration. The letter was lying there on the desk, taunting him, and he crumpled it up and hurled it at the bin. It missed, and he picked it up, crushing it tighter in his fist.

Why? Why now, of all times, when he’d begun to feel there might be a chance…?

There was a tap on the door and old Doris Trefussis popped her head round and came in with a smile.

‘Cup of tea for you, Dr T., before you start,’ she said brightly, ‘and a couple of Hazel’s fairings. I saved them for you.’

‘Thank you, Doris,’ he said tightly, and held his breath until she’d shut the door. The last thing he could do was eat, it would choke him, but there was no way he could tell Doris that. She’d kill him if he didn’t eat Hazel’s biscuits, he thought, dropping down into his chair and dragging his hands over his face before flattening out the crumpled page and reading the letter again.

It didn’t make any more sense the second time. Or the third.

Maybe the tea would help.

He cradled the mug in his hand and stared blankly out of the window. It was slack water, the boats in the harbour swinging every which way in the squalling wind. He knew the feeling. He’d been swinging at anchor himself ever since Annabel had died five years ago, unsure of what the future held, of which way the tide would turn.

For a time he’d thought Kate was getting married, but then he’d heard on the grapevine that it was over now, and with Rob out of the way, he’d thought that maybe now, with both of them widowed—but then this, out of the blue. He’d never expected this. Never expected that she’d go…

She couldn’t leave. She couldn’t. She’d lived in Penhally for ever, her entire life. He’d known her since she was twelve, dated her when she was fifteen and he was seventeen, left her at eighteen to go to university, intending to come back for her—but then he’d met Annabel, and everything had changed.

Except Kate. She’d stayed the same—sweet, funny, kind—but those soft brown eyes had held reproach and disappointment ever since. Or maybe he’d imagined it, but all he knew was that every time she looked at him, he felt guilt.

He shut his eyes and sighed. God knows, there was enough to feel guilty about in the past thirty-odd years.

He folded the crumpled letter and put it in his pocket. He could go round there this evening, see if there wasn’t a way he could convince her to stay—but there was no point, he thought grimly. She’d made up her mind, and maybe it really was for the best.

He’d miss them both, but especially Kate—Kate he’d depended on for her kindness and common sense when he’d been in turmoil, Kate who’d managed the practice for years before she’d returned to midwifery and become a firm favourite with the mums.

Kate he’d loved, all those years ago.

Had loved, and lost, because of his own stupid fault. His chest felt tight just thinking about it, and he stared out of the window again, trying to imagine the practice without her. His life, without her. She couldn’t go. He couldn’t let her.

There’s nothing here for me any more.

Particularly not an emotionally bankrupt old fool like him. He had no choice but to let her go. No power to do anything else. The least he could do was do it with dignity.

He pushed the tea aside, strode to the door and yanked it open. ‘Mr Pengelly, would you come in, please?’

He tried to concentrate, tried to give the man his attention while he described his symptoms, but the letter was burning a hole in his pocket and judging by the feel of it the acid was doing the same thing to his stomach.

‘Sump’n’s goin’ on out there,’ Mr Pengelly said, jerking his head at the window.

‘Hmm?’ Nick dragged his mind back into the room and listened, and then he heard it over the rain and his clamouring thoughts. The sirens wailing, the rapid footsteps as Oliver Fawkner ran to his car outside Nick’s window and shot off up the road. He was on call today, acting as First Responder in the event of a serious accident as part of those duties, and he’d obviously been called out to the emergency.

‘The sirens,’ Mr Pengelly said unnecessarily.

‘Yes,’ Nick said, blanking it out of his mind as he examined him, weighed him, checked his blood pressure, listened to his chest. He was a heart attack waiting to happen, and if he had one, it wouldn’t be Nick’s fault. He’d given him sage advice for years, and it was time to lay it on the line.

More sirens. It was a big one, he thought, and eyed his patient firmly. ‘Right, Mr Pengelly, I think we need to have another look at your lifestyle. You’re overweight, you’re unfit, you don’t take your drugs regularly, and then you come in and tell me you have chest pain, but you don’t seem to be prepared to do anything about it and if you go on like this you’ll kill yourself. We need to check your cholesterol level again. It was high last time, and you’re still smoking, aren’t you?’