Читать книгу: «Snake Typhoon!»

For Roneski (AKA Mamma)

Chapter One

The gossip is impossible to believe, but I pack my backpack and ready myself to head to the airport. My office had been abuzz with the news of some kind of freak storm heading towards the Northern Territory and, wait for it, raining snakes. So far there was no footage, and no one really believed it, but when a call came in from someone high up in a secret government department, my boss’s mouth pinched tight like he was sucking lemons and, finally, I got the nod. I’m new to the team, in an office full of zoologists all vying for the top spot. I hope I can prove I’ve got the nous to head a mission, even one as crazy as this purportedly is. At least they’re taking it seriously enough that I’m going to fly in a chopper from Brisbane to the Red Centre. The snakes wanted to see Uluru, apparently.

Fresh out of university, and labelled the ‘new girl’, a few months in the field and I’m still the lackey. Getting flung from one snake-containment disaster to the next, to bring the crew coffee. It’s not fair, but I don’t complain. Let’s face it, it’s only a matter of time until someone picks up a snake the wrong way, and I’ll move up the hierarchy. Between us, I hope it’s Cindii, who started a day before me, which somehow translates to her flicking her glossy too-blonde hair in my face and acting superior. I mean, she started a mere twelve hours before me. And, to be honest, anyone who spells their name with two i’s like some kind of Barbie doll shouldn’t be handling snakes and cane toads, anyway. She might break a nail, or ruin the blood-red varnish she insists on wearing. She’s like Ranger Stacey on Botox.

I suit the job description much better. Long brown hair, always tied back in a ponytail for safety reasons, khaki shirt and shorts – regulation length, steel-capped boots, a smothering of sunscreen, and super-fit physique. Just as the manual stipulates. Cindii wears tight shorts and a teeny tiny singlet which leaves her well open to being the most likely to get bitten. She can’t run, or pivot, without hoiking the shorts from whichever crevice they creep in to, and in the heat of the moment when it’s us against snake, you simply don’t have time for shorts hoiking. You just don’t.

Shaking the vision of Cindii from my mind, I rush to the car, giving myself a silent pep talk. Secure the area, lead civilians to a safe place, contain flying snakes, save the world.

This time it won’t be my team that pushes their shiny faces in front of a TV camera to report that disaster has been averted. It will be me. If I stay focused, I can do this.

And let’s face it, raining snakes? Usually, there is some simple ecological reason for something extraordinary and I’ve no doubt it’s been exaggerated. Cindii said half the inhabitants of central Australia, the human ones, wake up with a beer in their hand, which they continue to drink like water throughout the day to deal with the unrelenting heat. She says it’s probably just a heatwave with the locals wearing beer goggles, and that can only mean one thing. A group of inebriated men standing over a colony of centipedes, claiming their, er, worm is biggest. But I won’t get anywhere with an attitude like that. If a secret government department says they need my help, then they’ll damn well get my help.

I gun the engine and pull out of my driveway. My rusty old car whines as I pop her from first to third. I don’t have time for second gear, it’s a waste of energy. And the car can cope with the extra revs. Smoke billows behind; I really must remember to get the old girl serviced. Even though my job seems glamorous – nice uniform, travel and the added bonus of snake-wrangling – it’s not really all that well-renumerated. I’d get more at a fast-food outlet. But you can’t put a price on passion, and I am passionate about my job.

Especially working so close to Jay. I nearly run a red light thinking of him. It’s just…Jay. Sigh. I always sigh when I think of him. One of those great big bosom-heaving sighs like the girls in Downtown Abbey. Jay doesn’t even know I’m alive. It’s the bloody hierarchy again, and Cindii with the two i’s always gets in first. She falls over her non-regulation thigh-high boots to get him cups of decaf and herbal teas. Leans over his desk with her buxom breasts popping out all over the place while she throws glances my way. I don’t even get a look in at his carefully coiffed hair, which he constantly flicks with his manicured hands.

She’s like Good-time Barbie, with her cleavage spilling out all over the place, her inappropriateness making an uncomfortable heat spread through my body.

And Jay, well, he’s more like Safari Ken. With his regulation-length shorts and his khaki shirt, which he leaves unbuttoned one hole under the required minimum (I do like a man who lives on the edge), not to mention the thick beige socks he scrunches down into his limestone-coloured desert boots. He has fine golden hair on his arms, but his legs are strangely hair-free. Must help in the field, I guess. Probably trying to avoid chafing or something else hairy-leg related. I picture myself running my hands down his smooth tanned skin, then push the vision away. I’m invisible to him. Always stuck in Cindii’s curvaceous shadow, cuddling a King Brown I’ve rescued from a day-care centre, or purring to a vibrant green tree frog who’s lost his way.

Anyway, back to the task at hand. I’m roaring towards the heliport; time is of the essence. I’m not scared of flying in choppers, but most of my crew are, which I know is the main reason I landed the gig. I’ve even thought about getting my pilot’s licence so in future I can fly myself, but that would take some careful budgeting on my salary.

Pulling into the small car park, I flash my badge to the guard at the gate. He nods and pushes a big button, allowing me access to the hangar. I feel a little bit special that I get to park my dinged up car near the limos and prestige cars that line the Tarmac. I ignore the frowns of the stylishly dressed women waiting silently with their designer holdalls sitting at their feet. I’m guessing they’re designer labels, by the way they give my battered mountaineering backpack the once over and stand closer to their glittery, golden mini suitcases. Cindii is a fan of those fancy bags, I know, because I’m constantly blinded by the gleam that shines off the metal labels when I’m walking behind her, watching her swing her hips like a catwalk model. It’s quite a safety hazard.

In the distance, a bright-yellow chopper sits on the Tarmac, like a huge dragonfly. I hoist my backpack over my shoulder and head towards the helicopter. Time for me to switch on. The pilot gives me a half-hearted wave as I jump aboard. He’s tanned to a leathery brown and has huge biceps fighting the fabric of his flimsy T-shirt; good to know I’ve got some muscle behind me if we get into trouble up in the air.

I hold out my hand. “I’m Kez, nice to meet you.”

He ignores my proffered hand and looks over my shoulder.

I turn too, and see nothing but the gleam from the damn designer bags.

“Lost something?” I ask.

“Where is everyone else?” he says, frowning.

“Everyone else?”

His jaw clenches. “Yes, your team?”

“My team are on other missions. Why? I’m here for recon, and then I’ll call in if I need support.”

He rubs two fingers over his moustache hair. He looks like a Magnum, P.I. wannabe. “Do you even know what you’re up against?”