Could He Help Her Son?
There’s something achingly familiar about the look in fire marshal Chad Owens’s eyes. Widowed mom Jeannie Nelworth knows firsthand what it is: loss, hurt and yes—bitterness. Ever since the fire that changed their lives, Jeannie’s young son has borne that same look, pushing everyone away. So she’s grateful when Chad tries to get through to the boy with the help of his trusty fire station dog. But the man who’s all about safety and prevention keeps himself protected—from loving and losing again. Seems as if Jeannie will have to add his kind, guarded heart to her rebuilding efforts.
“I can test these smoke detectors for you, but I don’t think that will really solve your problem.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s not really smoke you’re afraid of.” He pulled a book of matches out of his pocket and Jeannie fought the urge to flinch.
“You said you didn’t need matches to test the smoke detectors,” she reminded him.
“I don’t,” Chad said gently, “but you need them to test yourself. Jeannie, you need to get over this. You need to light a match.”
“Oh, no, I don’t!” Jeannie blurted out her refusal, even though she was embarrassed Chad had guessed her fear of flame. Did he have to strike such a nerve?
“Don’t feel bad—I’ve seen sillier reactions on much more serious people. I can help. And I won’t tell anyone.”
Why would Chad Owens do something like this for her? Jeannie couldn’t bring herself to ask the question.
Falling for the Fireman
Allie Pleiter
Know also that wisdom is like honey for you:
If you find it, there is a future hope for you,
and your hope will not be cut off.
—Proverbs 24:14
Dedication
To first responders everywhere—
God bless your courage and dedication
Acknowledgments
Astute travelers will recognize Gordon Falls bears a striking resemblance to Galena, Illinois (the beautiful fire house and floodgates are dead giveaways). Jeannie and Chad’s community owes all of its charm—and none of its faults—to the lovely town that inspired their story. Thanks to Don Lay, fire marshal of Carol Stream, Illinois; and to Mike Simmons, chief of the Galena, Illinois, fire department for their input and endurance of my endless questions. Any missed professional details are surely my own fault, and not related to their fine assistance. Special thanks to the Pokorn family for lending me their home while I “researched” peaceful atmosphere, great views, good food and awesome shopping. It is the people and places that make my job as wonderful as it is, and I’m forever grateful.
Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Epilogue
Dear Reader
Questions for Discussion
Chapter One
Gordon Falls, Illinois
September 2009
Jeannie Nelworth had the faucet handle in a death grip. It wasn’t that the women’s restroom of The Stew Pot restaurant was a tense place; she just hadn’t expected her nerve to go out from under her quite so completely tonight. Somewhere between picking up name tags and the Merchant Association’s first agenda item, she’d had to bolt into the ladies’ room to pull herself together. She’d found the bright red wallpaper amusing before, but now it felt loud and suffocating.
Abby Reed was predictably right behind her. A best friend can usually see through faked calm, and Abby was as intuitive as they come.
“I’m okay,” Jeannie lied the moment Abby pushed into the tiny room.
“You are not okay.” Abby turned and threw the door’s small dead bolt Jeannie had forgotten to latch. “I told Mary Hunnington not to ask you about postponing tonight’s presentation, that you’d say ‘go ahead’ when you shouldn’t have.”
“I like being at these dinners.” Jeannie forced a cheery tone, pulling her hand off the fixture to fuss with her long brown hair that didn’t need fussing. It was true. Normally she did enjoy the monthly gathering of businesspeople in town. The many shopkeepers, hotel owners and restauranteurs that made up Gordon Falls were her family. Even the tourists were part of her life here. That’s why it was so hard to have her sweetshop closed—if only for a while.
“Besides,” she continued, “Nicky’d never forgive me for ruining his monthly video-game sleepover. Much as it kills me, that eighth-grade tornado loves a night away from his mom.”
Abby sighed and gave her the look half the other merchants had. She knew her colleagues cared for her, only now their warm but pitying looks made her feel simultaneously welcome and on display. “Really, there isn’t a soul here who would have blamed you if you missed this one. You’re the last person who needs to hear tips on holiday lighting and fire safety.”
Why bother waiting? Another thirty days wouldn’t change the fact that her candy store and home had burned down a few weeks ago. “If I stayed home, what would that solve?” To stay home was admitting defeat, and Jeannie liked to think of herself as the kind of woman who gave no quarter to tragedies like that. “Okay, it’s hard,” she admitted, but even those three words felt too big, “but God is bigger than a burned building.”
“It’s not just a building, it was your home. And the home you had with Nicky. The home you had with Henry, God rest his soul. God is big, but that’s huge.”
Just the mention of her late husband’s name was enough to double the size of the knot in her throat, even after half a dozen years. She’d loved her quaint shop down by the riverfront. It hadn’t been close to the center of town, but she’d always thought that made it feel homey. It had been close enough to catch the riverfront tourists, and back then she, Henry and Nicky used to watch the sun come up over the river as they ate breakfast in their home above the shop.
Then Henry was gone. Now, six years later, the building was gone. “What’s the whole point of faith if not to sustain me through something like this?”
Abby started in, but Jeannie just blinked back tears and shot her hand up in a silent “Don’t.”
After a quiet moment, Abby pulled a paper towel from the ancient metal dispenser and blotted her own tears. “George wants to talk to you,” she said softly. A conversation with George Bradens, Gordon Falls’s Fire Chief, usually meant getting roped onto a committee for some new civic endeavor. “He says it’s about Nicky.” Abby put a hand on Jeannie’s shoulder. “Listen, this is too much. Let me make some excuse for you so you can go home.”
“I’m fine.”
Abby leaned against the red Formica countertop. “I thought we covered this already.”
The room was far too red. Red tile, red wallpaper. It all felt like sirens going off, close and loud. “Well, I’m close to fine.” That’s how she chose to view the raw-around-the-edges feeling that had continued to plague her every day—every hour—since the fire. The entire month felt like peeling off singed layers, discovering new burns in unexpected places every time she was sure she was done with all that. “I don’t want to go back to the apartment anyway.” That dingy apartment she and Nicky rented now seemed so unbearably temporary. They couldn’t see the river, and they seemed far away from everyone. It was the worst of both worlds. Stuck in the middle, endlessly coping.
Keeping her life on hold while her candy store was rebuilt choked Jeannie like smoke.
“I figure you’ve got five more minutes of old business, then Chad will be up. Really, Jeannie, you don’t have to be here.” Abby caught Jeannie’s eyes in the dingy gold-framed mirror above the sink. “So don’t go home. Go shopping, go eat a pound of fudge, go walk over and sit by the river if you want, but give yourself a break and leave.”
Abby made it sound as if Jeannie could slip out unnoticed. “Every single person in that room will know if I skip out. And they’ll know why—Chad’s the fire marshal and George is the fire chief. It couldn’t be more obvious.”
“So what?”
“Well…” Jeannie fished for a better reason than her stubborn defiance of a paralyzing fear. “If I leave, how will I know whatever it is George wants to say about Nicky?” She shut off the water with a resolute twist of the faucet. There was nothing for this but to do what she always did: fix her eyes on gratitude and soldier on. And on, and on. She’d worked at being grateful; she’d sent baskets of goodies to George and Chad and the rest of the volunteers at the fire department. Sent, because she still couldn’t bring herself to go into the fire station. The least she could do—the goal she’d set for herself tonight—was to sit through the presentation, stay upright, force a smile and be grateful Chad Owens was as handsome as he was thorough.
Don’t look at her. Chad Owens kept telling himself to keep his gaze away from Jeannie Nelworth. He shouldn’t single her out in any way, but his eyes repeatedly wandered over to her tight smile no matter what he resolved. It was a hopeless cause; everyone in the room seemed overly aware of the woman.
Jeannie loved yellow, loved kids and normally exuded as much happiness as twelve people, but she looked pale and drawn tonight, cornered by the collective awkwardness. George kept putting his arm around her, looking out for her as if she needed shielding from the world. That was George, everyone’s unofficial protective grandfather. The town’s most beloved fire victim at a fire safety presentation—honestly, he was amazed she showed up at all.
Chad thought Jeannie should have some space after the presentation, an escape from the small tight knot of false casualness that pushed around her after the talk, but George motioned Jeannie out of the group right away, calling her over to where they were standing.
“How are you?” George hugged her. George hugged everyone.
“George,” Jeannie said with an applied smile. “I am fine.” She pushed her brown bangs out of her eyes like a nervous teenager. “Stop worrying, why don’t you?”
“You know very well I won’t. I’m looking out for you, so help me stop worrying by saying yes to my idea.”
Jeannie rolled her eyes, crossing her hands over her chest. “How about I hear your idea first?”
George crossed his hands over his own chest and leaned in. “I want to hire Nick.”
There was a momentary flash of panic in her eyes. “Don’t you think thirteen is a bit young to be a firefighter?”
George laughed. “Every boy wants to be a fireman. But not every boy can be a firedog walker.” He said it with an absurd importance Chad didn’t feel and Jeannie clearly didn’t believe.
Chad hadn’t been in favor of George’s scheme to hire Nick to walk the portly firehouse hound. Plug certainly needed exercise, but Chad found the gesture lacking. George should know better than to put a cozy bandage on a kid’s enormous trauma. Fire stole something from a soul that could never be restored. Chad knew it. Nick and Jeannie knew it now, too, and some cuddly chore wouldn’t make that go away. Still, no one talked George out of anything once he got a plan in that meddling, generous mind of his. Chad supposed the scheme couldn’t hurt, but he didn’t think it stood any real chance of helping.
“You have volunteer firefighters but you want to pay my son to walk your dog?” Jeannie’s eyes narrowed with a friendly suspicion at the idea. Her long, dark ponytail swung as she gave George a sideways glance. Chad was glad Jeannie recognized George was up to something.
She wasn’t pretty in the stop-a-guy-dead-in-his-tracks kind of way. It was more her energy, her optimism, that pulled people toward her. Those brown eyes always took in the world like it was a fantastic package waiting to be opened. Nothing seemed to keep her down. Last year she’d had her Jeep painted in the same yellow polka-dotted pattern as her store, and while all the other merchants thought it stunning marketing, all Chad could think about was how mortified her son must be to ride in the thing. Still, everyone in town knew Jeannie Nelworth’s Sweet Treats candy store. Half the businesses in the county used her gift baskets, and the woman’s chocolate-covered caramels were nearly legendary.
“Plug would be good for Nick,” George lobbied, smiling as if every volunteer fire department had a dog-walking budget. “Boys love dogs.”
Jeannie let out a sigh. “Well, Nicky seems to need to take care of something since…” Her voice fell off, as if she’d run out of good ways to end a sentence like that. Chad knew the feeling. He knew exactly how a life split forever into “before the fire” and “after.”
“The guidance counselor suggested a pet,” Jeannie continued with a hollow laugh, “But all our landlord allows is a goldfish. Those are ‘lame,’ as Nicky so bluntly put it.”
Dr. Billings cut into their little trio. “So, Jeannie, how’s our Nicky doing?”
“Really great.” Jeannie gave the dentist a big smile. “People have been so kind.”
They’re always so kind, Chad thought. People were so kind after Laurie’s death he thought he’d drown in careful kindness. Friends and family surrounded him with casseroles and cards and “how are you’s” that hoped to avoid his sad answers. That was why it had been so easy to move here. Only George knew what he’d been through, why his history with fire went beyond the professional and into the personal. He kept him off the fire engines and at a desk; Chad liked his pain to stay private. People never looked at him the same way again once they knew, so he made sure no one did.
As for Jeannie, she had no choice. She was on display for everyone’s pity because the whole town had gathered to watch her home and business burn. He was sure she’d call it something warm and cozy like “community,” but to him it was a naked, painful exposure.
“Still, he’s been through so much for such a young man.” Billings patted Jeannie’s wrist.
“Oh, don’t you worry about Nicky. He’s coping so much better than anyone expected. You know boys. He just sees this as a chance to get cooler new stuff. Like Christmas before Christmas. People came out of the woodwork to help us, you know. Nicky and I had a week’s worth of clothes before the sun even came up the next day. The new Sweet Treats will be right on Tyler Street in the middle of all that lucrative tourist traffic. And evidently, my son is about to become the firehouse’s first official dog wrangler.”
“Told you she’d say yes.” George elbowed Chad victoriously. “Have Nicky come by Chad’s office tomorrow but don’t tell him what’s up. The boy will enjoy it more if it’s a surprise.”
“It will be bigger and better. It has to be,” Jeannie proclaimed to the dust the following morning as she stood inside what would be Sweet Treats. It made her happy just to be inside the historic building, the “old girl” as Jeannie had come to call her. The weathered beams boasted deep ridges like laugh lines. History’s scent, that indescribable mixture of dust and mold and time, hung in the air to the point where Jeannie felt she could reach out and roll it between her fingers. It was a thick, rich smell, but not unpleasant by any means. This old girl had gone unappreciated for far too long; she had too grand a history to sit dormant on Tyler Street. “How many times have the floodgates saved you?” The green floodgates at the north end of town were a Gordon Falls landmark, protecting the town from the nearby Gordon River when its fury swelled. “You’ve been a dozen different things, and now you’ll be my candy store.” Twenty-seven Tyler Street had been an apothecary shop back at the turn of the century, and then a pharmacy in the 1920s and 1930s back when pharmacies had ice cream counters and weren’t giant chain stores. “You’ve got character. We both do.”
She laughed at herself, holding conversation with wood and plaster. Still, the building and she were old friends of a sort. How many times had she passed by this neglected spot in such a prime location just across from the firehouse, pondering what she could do with it if she ever got the chance? Every couple of months, she’d slow down as she drove past it with its forlorn for-sale sign. She would toy with the idea that someday, when the timing and the finances were right, it might be time to expand, to leave the cramped quarters over by the river and make a go of it on Gordon Falls’s center stage. She’d have enough space in here to really utilize her online gift basket business—growing fast enough, thank the Lord, to keep her going over this tough time. She’d been bursting out of her riverfront home and shop already. Now, being stuck in this apartment and borrowing the church’s industrial kitchen to cook, wasn’t going to cut it much longer.
Jeannie took a deep breath, watching the way the light striped through the dusty air. Though some details were lacking, she could feel her future in here. The whole enterprise still seemed steeped in possibility—one of the things that kept her going these days. Nicky had jokingly called the project “Mom’s other baby.” How glad he was that his mother found somewhere else to put her attention. He wasn’t far off the mark. It felt as though if she didn’t move forward at full speed, she’d stop all together. For the thousandth time she thought of the little sign she’d seen in the hospital lobby the night Henry died. It said, “You never know how strong you can be until strong is the only choice you have.”
Jeannie ran her hands over beams and dusty shelves, drawing motivation from the possibilities. She’d have twice the room for stock in this place. She could have internet kiosks for customers to order for relatives and friends back home. Maybe even a class or two in that big side room off the kitchen. “I need you, you need me. We’re business partners. God set it up that way and nothing is going to stop us now.”
“Except maybe me, the insurance company and a handful of building codes,” came a deep voice from behind her. Jeannie spun around, nearly yelping in a most unprofessional manner, to find Chad Owens standing in what would be the front doorway.
Chapter Two
A set of blueprints she’d bumped began to cascade off the folding table, and Jeannie just managed to save them from a swirl of dust. “I didn’t hear you come in.” She started to say that just because the building didn’t have a working door didn’t mean a person shouldn’t knock, but kept quiet. Chad would make Nicky happy later this afternoon, if George’s plan worked, so she shouldn’t complain. Besides, she figured it would be wise to stay on good terms with the fire marshal when rehabbing a eighty-seven-year-old building on a tight time schedule.
“Obviously.” Chad wore a dark green turtleneck that wouldn’t have looked half as severe on any other man. He never dressed starkly—mostly like a man who never put much thought into how he looked—but somehow everything about him managed to have sharp edges. Even his green eyes, which currently held an unsettling hint of amusement, flashed more murky than mossy under his short, dark hair. “Do you always talk to empty rooms?”
“Henry used to say I could think only with my mouth moving.” She’d always thought it funny but now it just sounded foolish.
“Your late husband?”
It startled her that he had to ask; everyone in town knew Henry. Had Chad really not been in Gordon Falls long enough to have known him? “Yes. We lost him in a car accident when Nicky was six.” It felt odd to realize someone she knew hadn’t known Henry. As if it signaled just how long Henry had been gone.
His stance softened a bit at her answer, as if tripped up by the tragedy. Chad was as athletic as any of the firemen he worked with, but he moved like a man who would have preferred to take up less space in the world. If he ever got excited about anything, she’d never seen it.
Well, she wouldn’t allow him to do his wet-blanket routine in this place this morning. She pointed to the amazing woodwork near the top of the walls. “Isn’t this moulding incredible? It’s artwork. Why would anyone think covering up such craftsmanship with one of those boring industrial drop ceilings was a good idea? Outlaw that in one of your building codes.”
“Some people think new is better, no matter what.” Chad looked up at the partial latticework of steel strips that had held up one of those horrid 1970s foam-tile ceilings and scratched his chin. His strong features could have been dashing if his personality would just lighten up, but he always seemed rather sad. He followed her gaze up to the wondrously curvy wood moulding. “Scraping the old paint off all those curlicues won’t be an easy job.”
Jeannie palmed the fat arc of a wooden support column, ignoring his pessimism. The store had six thick columns running down each side of the long narrow shop. They were stately things no one ever put in buildings anymore. When she was finished, each column would bear rounds of wrought-iron display baskets, brimming with salt water taffy and her famous chocolate-covered caramels; a forest of sweetness down either side of the aisle. “Oh, I won’t scrape those,” she said, pointing upward. “I love the texture of all those layers. All those years, all that history. They’ll be stunning when I paint them up in bright colors.”
Chad simply stared at the ceiling with his hands in his pockets. She wondered, by the tilt of his chin, if he was trying to see what she saw. Perhaps he was just categorizing her as a loony optimist, a thorn in his side as the fire marshal and building inspector who had to sign off on all her ambitious remodeling plans. He surveyed the entire ceiling before bringing his gaze down to her with narrowed eyes. “Are you going to paint all the exposed ductwork up in bright colors, too? The sprinkler pipes and such?”
Jeannie leaned against the beam, wincing as it groaned a bit. The late-September wind whistled through something behind her, announcing the gap-toothed age of the windows and doors. She spoke over the sound. “Of course. I’m going to paint everything bright colors.”
He sighed, a sound considerably more weary than the building’s aged whistle. “I was afraid of that.”
“You don’t see it? The energy, the kids on summer vacation, the tourists buying goodies for their family back home? The noisy students after school and on Saturday mornings?” It was so clear to her, she couldn’t imagine anyone not picturing the vivid image.
“I see outdated plumbing and old wires and no sprinkler system. I see a whole lot of work, frankly.”
“You’ve no imagination.” She sighed. “That’s sad.”
“I’m paid to see exactly what’s there. That’s safety.”
The insurance adjuster was going to be here any minute, and Jeannie wasn’t going to let Chad Owens rain on her parade. Not today. Jeannie set about unrolling the blueprints, weighting down its curling corners with the thermos of coffee and box of cookies she’d brought for the meeting. “You don’t have to set foot in here once you’ve signed off on my permit,” she called over her shoulder as she heard Chad’s boots traveling the floor with calculated, assessing steps. “You don’t ever have to cross over from your dark and gloomy side of the street if you don’t want to.”
Chad stopped and looked at her. “Dark and gloomy?”
“I wasn’t talking about the decor.” In fact, the fire station across the street was another local landmark, a majestic stone castle with bright red trim on the windows and a trio of enormous red doors. The Gordon Falls Volunteer Fire Department stood as a hub of activity and civic pride. Lots of people loved the firehouse, as she had before her association with the place became a little too personal. She used to be the kind of person who loved candles, too, but now she couldn’t even strike a match. There was a reason she was bricking up the fireplace in here.
“I’m sorry,” she conceded, shooting up a quick prayer to God for a bigger helping of grace this morning. “It’s just that, while I’m all for safety, you know you can be a bit of a glass-half-empty kind of guy sometimes.” All the time, she silently added.
“You think I’m the kind of person who’d pull over Santa’s sleigh on Christmas Eve if I saw a taillight out.”
“If I believed in Santa. And that sleighs had taillights.”
He squared his stance at her. “It’s my job to be careful. I take it very seriously, and you should be glad that I do. Here’s the last of the forms you need to file for the occupancy permit. You can have Nick bring them over when he comes this afternoon to…start his job.” He said that final part with an air of endurance.
Even though the answer was clear on his face, Jeannie asked, “What do you think of George’s scheme?”
“I think George means well.” He swallowed the rest of this thought, she could tell.
“But…”
“But only time will tell if it’s a good idea. If it helps.”
Nicky just needed something to do, something to take care of—no one thought of this as some kind of home-remedy therapy. Of course it would help. “He’ll love it. Plug needs it as much as Nicky. More, actually.”
“He’s a fat dog, I’ll grant you that. As for the rest of it…” She didn’t like the look in his eyes as he let the sentence hang in the air unfinished. He handed her the papers she needed for the adjuster and turned to go. You’d better let me in on what You’re doing here, Lord, she prayed as Chad closed the door, because I can’t see how Nicky and Chad will ever get along.
George looked up from the hose he was inspecting, making Chad realize he’d let the firehouse door slam harder than necessary. “So,” George said with a smirk, “how are things at the Big Rock Candy Mountain?” As last night’s dog-walking proposition had proven, George kept his hands in every aspect of Gordon Falls’s community life. He kept his nose in the lives of each and every one of his volunteer firefighters, too. The younger firefighters loved George. His grandfatherly personality was half the reason Gordon Falls hosted a volunteer fire corps. People would do anything to help the guy.
“I think you’re nuts with this dog thing.”
“But you’ll go along with it, right?”
Chad would do anything to help George—except climb a ladder again, although he’d been known to pitch in during extraordinary circumstances. George never questioned Chad’s decision to “chain himself to a desk,” even though he disagreed with the choice. They had too many mutual secrets not to defend each other. Chad was one of the few people who knew the now-widowed George even had a son. Clark had been a colleague of Chad’s back during his early firefighting days, but the Bradens men hadn’t spoken to each other in almost ten years. Stubborn as oxen, the pair of them. Despite the fact that Clark had somehow managed to refer Chad to this position here in Gordon Falls, Chad never could get either man to divulge the source of the wedge between them. He and George understood each other’s private wounds, respected them and had developed a father-son relationship of their own.
“That place is going to be a riot of color. And loud.” Chad set down the clipboard he’d taken over to Jeannie’s, pausing to scratch Plug. “Jeannie Nelworth is optimistic to a fault.”
“What a surprise,” George grunted as he wrestled the massive section of hose onto its shelf. “Still, everything’s in order?”
“Yes.” Chad finished with Plug and stepped over the dog to help George work another section into stiff coils. George was well past the age other fire chiefs retired. He ought to be sitting at the diner arguing with Gordon Falls’s other grandpas, fishing on the river and populating church spaghetti dinners, not coiling hoses. Still, stubborn old George refused to even consider the notion of stepping down.
“That’s not a very convincing yes.”
“She needs to be more cautious. That’s an old building and she’s gonna have mobs of kids in there every afternoon.”
George pushed his ever-present baseball hat back on his head, showing his balding mop of now-more-white-than-red hair. “This is a woman who’s just survived a fire, Chad. You of all people know what that does to a person. Go easy. I have no doubt she’ll go the extra mile so all those cute little tykes can stay safe buying their bubblegum. She’s just raw right now, and she needs to move forward to feel better. Take a little extra care walking her through the process, will you?”
Chad scowled. Extra care was George’s department, not his. It was George who stuffed himself into the firehouse’s Santa suit for every Christmas party, George who’d found Plug as a stray puppy and took him in despite serving no clear use short of good company. Which begged the question he’d been wanting to ask George since yesterday: “So why draft me into overseeing Nick as Plug’s official dog walker?”
“Your sunny disposition, of course.”
With a whistle Plug would ignore, George walked out of the equipment bay into the firehouse kitchen to pull open the refrigerator. “You can relate to the boy, I think. He needs watching. And you? You’ve been gloomier than usual. I know October’s coming, but…”
“Don’t.” Chad hated it when George got it into his head to play armchair shrink.
The old chief sighed. “It’s been eight years, Chad. That’s too long to play hermit, don’t you think?” George pulled out a brown glass bottle of root beer and snapped its cap against the bottle opener mounted nearby.
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